


Waiting for Darkness

by LadyLasa



Category: Free!
Genre: And angst, Had to up the rating for chapter 8, I should probably warn for blood, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mentions of Major Character Death, Nagisa CAN YOU NOT, Rin doesn't know how to stay dead, Vampire!Rin, sourin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:04:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLasa/pseuds/LadyLasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin had a bright future ahead of him. He was going to train in Australia after graduation and make it all the way to the Olympics. The Universe had other plans, though, and they came in the form of an unexpected accident during his morning run.<br/>Waking up in his own coffin was bad enough, but it's the least of his worries when a new thirst burns within him and the first person he sees might be the only one who can help him piece together what happened. Moving forward can be a challenge, though. Especially when his new condition threatens his ability to control his instincts around the ones close to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm really slow at updating A Thousand Smiles, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone today, and I needed more SouRin and some vampire!Rin in my life. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update this one, and the rating may change as things progress.
> 
> The title of this fic is taken from an old Ozzy Osbourne song from the 1983 album "Bark at the Moon".
> 
> Feel free to say hi to me on tumblr - ladylasa

The first thing that registered when his eyes cracked open was the darkness surrounding him, immediately followed by the strong scent of incense and flowers. His muscles were stiff, sore from lying in one position for too long, but as he moved his arms to stretch, solid surfaces on either side of him blocked his movements.

“… the fuck?”

Rin barely managed to get the word past his parched lips, and he ran his palms along the walls beside him until they stopped at the cover barely a few inches above him. Anything resembling sluggish fatigue vanished in an instant as panic started to grip him. Someone had to be playing a sick joke on him, but this was taking it too far. How much time did he have before he ran out of air?

One forceful push sent the lid toppling over, and Rin sat up with wide eyes, surveying the assortment of items around him. His goggles were next to him in what he realized was a coffin, ash from burned sticks of incense scattered in holders beside his resting place.

With the goggles in one hand, he scrambled out of the coffin, knocking it over in his haste to escape it, and he tumbled on the floor before stopping to stare up at the ceiling. There didn’t seem to be anyone else in the shrine, which was a small consolation for someone who had just woken up in his own goddamn coffin.

He had to get out of there, to find out who was responsible for this, and find something to drink before he died of dehydration. The remnants of sweet-scented smoke burned at the back of his throat, irritated his nostrils when he tried to take a breath, but just beyond the door was the promise of fresh air, freedom, and hopefully, answers.

Stumbling outside, the night air hit him, a cool breeze clearing the scents behind him. Only a few lights illuminated the exterior of the building, but he could see everything as clearly as if it were daytime. His head snapped to the left at the sound of a small animal scurrying through the brush, and his grip tightened on the elastic band of his goggles.

Hasty footsteps on leaves brought his attention to the front again, the unmistakable smell of beer drifting on the air, and his eyes narrowed. Someone was there, probably the same asshole who had set up this stupid prank, and Rin was ready to kill.

“I know you’re there,” he called out, unable to hide the anger in his voice. “So you might as well get your ass out here where I can see you.”

* * *

 

Sousuke was still reeling from the incident, but he managed to hold it together throughout the wake. He’d been there when it happened, and he could’ve sworn that he could still hear the screeching tires of the car that had lost control and sped up onto the pavement. All of the training and conditioning in the world couldn’t have saved his best friend.

The entire team had shown up for the wake, mourning the loss of their captain, but Sousuke couldn’t find it in himself to cry in front of them, especially not when Rin’s friends from Iwatobi were there as well.

Now, though, with empty bottles scattered around him on the steps of the shrine, he could let himself grieve. Rin had been the only one who’d consistently put up with his bullshit, and now he was gone, leaving Sousuke behind to face his mistakes alone. The empty bottle in his hand only served to mock him, and he pulled his arm back with the intention of hurling it at the nearest tree.

A commotion from beyond the closed doors behind him had him on his feet before he could complete the motion, though, and he spun around, dropping the bottle to the ground with a clatter. He was sure that everyone had gone home – he’d watched the other mourners leave – but apparently, someone else had stuck around after the ceremony.

The voice spewing a string of curses sounded more familiar than it should, and he backpedaled until another tree halted his progress. He wanted to berate himself for even thinking of running away, but that sure as hell sounded like Rin swearing up a storm inside, and that couldn’t be possible.

Rin was gone, plain and simple. He wasn’t coming back, and he most certainly wasn’t walking through the door of the shrine with a pair of swimming goggles in his hand. Without thinking, Sousuke ducked behind the tree, stirring the leaves at his feet as he tried to think through the alcohol-induced haze to figure out what the hell was going on.

But then he heard Rin call out, the sharp tone causing him to freeze. _I’m drunk and imagining things_ , he told himself, shaking his head. The beer had to have been laced with something, or maybe he hadn’t checked the labeling before he’d made off with it. He’d just take a quick look and prove that he was imagining this whole thing.

As he stepped out from behind the tree, he questioned his sanity even more. Rin was still there, and even worse, Rin had seen him. Pale features that had been twisted in fury at first glance shifted to confusion, and Sousuke could only stare at him.

“Sousuke?” Rin blinked a few times and started down the stairs, avoiding the discarded bottles. His temper flared again, the realization that his best friend was involved in this mess adding a dose of betrayal to the mix. “What the _fuck_? You think this shit’s funny? How’d you like to wake up in a goddamn coffin in the middle of the night?”

Sousuke couldn’t answer, and he took a reflexive step back when Rin started towards him, scarlet eyes flashing in the moonlight. Rin stopped halfway, though, reaching down to grab one of the two remaining unopened bottles and twisting the lid off.

As soon as Rin tried to swallow the sour liquid, he gagged, doubling over as he clutched at his throat. How could Sousuke stand to drink this shit? His legs gave out, the beer spilling as the bottle rolled away, and Rin coughed to clear the unpalatable beverage from his mouth. He cast an accusatory glare at his friend, but his anger cooled a fraction of a second later.

He’d never seen Sousuke scared of anything before, but the fear on his face made Rin pause. The frantic pounding of Sousuke’s heart sounded in his ears, and Rin slowly stood again, his expression losing its edge. Taking a step forward again, he tried to grasp what was happening, but all he found were more questions.

“Sou?” he said cautiously. “Sousuke, talk to me. What’s got you so worked up?” A twinge of pain twisted in his chest when the other backed away from him. Rin could smell the alcohol on his breath even with about ten feet separating them, and he lifted a hand to run through his hair as a sigh of frustration hissed through his teeth. “Come on, Sou. It’s late, you’re drunk, and I need to find something to drink. So let’s just go back to the dorms and you can tell me what you’re so freaked out about, okay?”

His next attempt to close some of the distance was met with the same reaction, the same increase in Sousuke’s heart rate, and Rin’s patience was rapidly fading. This was ridiculous. It wasn’t like Sousuke was the one who’d just woken up as the butt of the worst joke in his life.

Rin kept walking this time, matching Sousuke’s retreat step-for-step. He wanted to think that this was part of the stupid prank, but the fear he could sense was all too real. When Sousuke’s foot caught on a downed branch, Rin acted on instinct, darting forward to catch his arm before he fell. At least he had the presence of mind to grab Sousuke’s good arm; that had to count for something.

The heat coming off of Sousuke’s skin stirred something within him, though, and Rin glanced down to where his fingers wrapped around Sousuke’s bicep before his gaze slowly started to lift. The rapid rise and fall of the other’s chest was a momentary distraction, but the pulse racing beneath the surface at his throat held Rin’s attention longer than it should.

Wrenching his arm free, Sousuke backed away, avoiding the obstacle this time. He couldn’t process this, didn’t know how he was supposed to understand how his best friend could be standing there staring at him. People didn’t just come back from the dead, no matter how hard one wished for it.

“Damn it, Sousuke,” Rin snapped. “Will you just knock it off and tell me what the hell scared the shit out of you like this?”

“You.” The single word was barely a whisper, and Sousuke cleared his throat, forcing himself to stop. “I was at your wake today, Rin. You fucking _died_ two days ago. You don’t remember?”

“What the hell are you talking about? If I’d died, I wouldn’t be standing here arguing with your dumb ass, now would I?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, flashes of memory flew through his mind. The scream of tires, a shout of warning, the sense of dread that sent a shot of adrenaline through him… His heart should have been pounding at the recollection, but it remained stubbornly silent within his chest, and Rin shook his head in denial, looking at Sousuke with the vain hope that he would have some other explanation.

Sousuke watched the realization replace irritation, and he wanted to do something, anything, to make it better. Rin was his friend, maybe even more than that, but that didn’t change the fact that there was no logical explanation for him to be up and walking around without a scratch on him. The shock was starting to fade, and he dared a step forward, trying to come up with something that might ease the tension.

“Leave it to you to be too stubborn to stay dead.” It was a weak attempt, but Rin’s quiet snort told him that it was better than nothing.

“What am I supposed to do?” Rin asked, his eyes pleading. “I can’t just climb back in my coffin and wait for them to cremate me tomorrow, and I can’t go back to Samezuka like this.” The searing thirst was worsening by the minute, and as the pieces started to fall into place, the horrifying truth of what he’d become hit him. “Shit.  Shit, shit, _shit_ , no. This isn’t happening. This _can’t_ be happening.”

Sobering up quickly, Sousuke almost approached, but his sense of self-preservation kept him in place. He could see the changes that had taken place since the accident – the way Rin’s eyes seemed to glow when the light caught them, the way his breath failed to steam the cool air, and the tips of two sharp teeth that were just a little bit longer than the rest. He had no way of telling if Rin was going to snap at any moment, but he couldn’t just leave him there.

“Okay, calm down.” It was a laughable statement; he couldn’t rightly expect Rin to remain calm when he was barely holding himself back from bolting. “We’ll take this one step at a time.”

First things first, they had to make it look like Rin hadn’t just walked away after his own wake. Every ounce of sense warned Sousuke to keep his distance, but Rin needed him, and he wasn’t going to walk away, even if it put his own life at risk. It took another moment for him to steel his resolve, but then he continued towards the shrine, taking Rin by the arm along the way.

“Let’s get this place cleaned up,” he said. “I can sneak you back into the dorms until we figure out what to do next.”

Rin didn’t argue, but the close proximity served as a reminder of needs that were becoming nearly impossible to ignore. He knew what he would have to do, and while the thought was sickening, the anticipation made the distaste meaningless.

Setting his goggles down on the table, he closed the door behind them and watched Sousuke lean over to straighten the items he’d knocked over in his earlier haste. Rin kept his distance for a minute or two, but then he stalked forward, his hunger becoming unbearable.

“We’re going to have to weigh this down,” Sousuke said, shifting the lid of the coffin so that it was almost back in place. “They’ll know something’s up if it’s too light.”

The hand on his left shoulder pulled his attention away from the task, and he turned to meet Rin’s gaze. The look in those eyes caused his pulse to jump, and the fear returned tenfold when his back suddenly hit the wall that had been several feet away only a second ago. He might have thought of having Rin pressed up against him on more than one occasion, but not like this.

“Relax, Sousuke.”

He had no choice but to obey, and his head tipped back when Rin’s lips trailed across his throat, sending a shiver through him. In the back of his mind, Sousuke knew that this might happen, but he also knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn’t have resisted even if he could. The brief, sharp pain wasn’t even really that bad, and Sousuke allowed himself this one chance to hold Rin close, even if it ended up being the only one he got.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shattered dreams lay next to broken glass  
> I wonder if tonight will be my last
> 
> "S.I.N." (No More Tears, 1991)

Warmth spread through every fiber of his being, and Rin reveled in it. The sweet taste of the liquid rolling over his tongue was intoxicating, and he pressed himself against the figure in his grasp, a mixture of a growl and moan escaping him. Lost in euphoria, he barely noticed the arms wrapping around him, unable to question the sensation until he heard the quiet whisper of his name.

Confusion cut through his hunger, and with the sheer effort of willpower, he pulled away from the source of his meal. The twin puncture wounds before him brought startling clarity to the situation, and he slowly lifted his gaze to regard the one who’d breathed out the single word, shock and guilt replacing any pleasure he’d taken a moment prior.

Sousuke’s eyes were glazed over as he looked down at Rin, a tired smile resting on his lips. Between the alcohol, the blood loss, and Rin coming back from the dead, he was thoroughly exhausted, but the expression on his friend’s face kept him somewhat grounded.

“Sousuke…” Rin’s voice broke as he yanked off his tie and held it against the marks at Sousuke’s throat. “ _Fuck_. Sousuke, I’m so fucking sorry. Shit…”

His hands were shaking as he tried to keep the cloth in place to slow the bleeding, panic combined with the scent of fresh blood making it difficult to keep himself steady. Expletives continued to spill from his lips, tears stinging his eyes as he looked up at Sousuke and waited for the inevitable fallout.

Sousuke met his gaze, but his attempt to wipe the crimson tears away only ended up smearing them on Rin’s pale cheeks. His head was pounding, and the room was still spinning. Finding his voice was difficult, but after a few moments, he managed to croak out a few words.

“Rin, I’m okay,” he said. “I think.  I… I think I need to sit down for a minute.”

Nodding and still shaking, Rin eased him down the wall to settle on the floor, crouching in front of him as his mind raced on what he could do to fix this. He looked around frantically, his eyes searching the gifts and mementos that others had left in the shrine, and he finally spotted a small box with a butterfly on it.

He didn’t even have to open it to know its contents – the smell of the cookies was strong enough to him to make their presence known as soon as he grabbed it. _Leave it to Rei_ , he thought, rushing back to Sousuke as he opened the box.

“Eat some of these,” he said, trying to stop the trembling of his hands. “I’m… I’m going to clean up here and get you back to the dorms.”

* * *

 

The walk back to Samezuka was slow, both of them stopping occasionally for Rin to check on Sousuke. Sneaking back onto the property was relatively simple, though. As late as it was, no one was wandering about, and it wasn’t long before they reached the safety of their room.

Sousuke dropped onto the bottom bunk, lying back as he tried to ignore the wave of dizziness that continued to plague him. Part of him wanted to be angry and horrified; not only had Rin come back from the dead, but he’d picked Sousuke as his first meal. He was too tired to even bother with anger, and honestly, he was more than a little relieved that at least Rin wasn’t gone forever like he’d thought for the past couple of days.

One look at Sousuke was enough for Rin to decide to hold off on any attempts at conversation. He could wait, even if he was trying like hell to wrap his head around what had happened to him. Pulling the blanket up, he didn’t even bitch about Sousuke stealing his bunk, and he took a moment to ditch his suit in favor of sweatpants and a tank top before securing a blanket over the window and sliding into the chair at the desk. Sleep wasn’t going to happen – he wasn’t sure if he needed it at all – so he could at least make use of the time to sort through his jumbled mess of thoughts.

 _Okay, let’s start with what we know,_ he thought. _One, I got hit by a car and died. Two, I’m not dead anymore. Or am I? Shit, this is confusing as hell._ Shaking his head, he glanced over at the sleeping figure on his bed. _Only one thing I know that drinks blood, so that’s a no-brainer._

It did nothing to make him feel any better, and his forehead fell onto the desk in frustration. The list of things he wouldn’t be able to do was much longer than what he could, even if he was some kind of creature that supposedly had super-human power. _So much for an Olympic gold_ , he thought miserably.

The blinking light on his phone at the edge of the desk caught his attention, and his brow furrowed. The device was plugged into the charger and still powered on, and he sat up as he reached for it. Multiple text messages waited in the inbox, and he started scrolling through them, his eyes widening more with each one he read.

_Dammit, Matsuoka! Why did you have to fucking die on me?_

_This is bullshit and you know it. I’d kick your ass if you were still here._

_Rin, I’m sorry. I couldn’t do anything to save you._

_There were so many times I wanted to tell you everything, but I was too chickenshit to grow a pair and talk to you._

_Please don’t be gone, Rin. I’ll do anything to have you back, even for just a few minutes._

_I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I never told you how much you mean to me and how hard I’ve fallen for you._

Every message was from the same person, his best friend and roommate, the only one who knew that he was back. Setting the phone on the desk, he folded his arms on the surface and rested his head on them, his shoulders shaking with sobs. It took months for Sousuke to tell him about his shoulder, but how long had he been hiding this too?

* * *

 

Blinding pain screamed within his head, and Sousuke tried in vain to ward off consciousness for just a little while longer. He knew that he had to get up and get ready for the funeral, but he wanted a few more minutes to replay the dream again. Sure, it had been one of the most fucked up ones he’d had in a long time, but Rin was there, and he could at least pretend that his best friend wasn’t gone.

As he slowly came to terms with the reality that he’d have to attend the ceremony with a raging hangover, he tried to roll over, having every intention of hiding under the blankets instead of facing the day. A solid weight on his shoulder and half of his chest held him down, though, and he managed to crack open one eye to catch a glimpse of red hair.

“Rin…” he breathed, hardly able to believe that he was really there.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Rin said as he propped himself up on one elbow. “I really am sorry about last night. Are you doing okay?”

For several minutes, Sousuke didn’t answer, fully awake now, but trying to convince himself that his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Tearing his gaze away from Rin, he glanced at the desk and noticed the phone sitting on the desk. Heat rushed to his face, and he stared up at the bottom of the top bunk instead, grasping for something to break the awkward silence.

“I feel like I got drunk and let some dumbass with a blood fetish try to eat me.” His weak attempt at a joke fell flat, and he winced at the failure when Rin dropped down to bury his face in Sousuke’s chest. “Rin, it’s fine. I’ll be alright. I just need some water and a few asprin.”

Sometime during the night, Rin had wedged himself between Sousuke and the wall, either to give Sousuke a viable means of escape or to avoid putting pressure on his injured shoulder. Possibly both. Sousuke appreciated the gesture, and he cast a glance at the phone on the desk again.

“Why did you let me?” Rin asked, his voice barely a whisper. “You were scared shitless, but you didn’t push me away or tell me to stop.”

Sousuke couldn’t answer. As he recalled, he’d had every intention of putting up a fight, but then Rin had told him to relax. Brow furrowing in thought, he replayed the scene in his mind again, certain that he definitely wouldn’t have given in easily, which meant that somehow, Rin had managed to change his mind.

“You told me to relax, and I did,” he said finally. “I don’t know, Rin, but I think there’s more to this than we thought.”

Rin couldn’t help but snort at that. They knew precisely jack shit about the situation, and the more he’d thought about it during the night, the more questions he’d found. There was no logical explanation for him to still be there. His fingers tightened in Sousuke’s shirt when he spoke again.

“I saw the texts,” he said. “It would have been nice to know before… before this happened, but I know that things are different now. So, if you’ve changed your mind, then just let me know and I’ll be out of here as soon as the sun goes down.”

Despite the pounding headache, Sousuke had to find some way to salvage this. Yeah, they were in a shitload of trouble, especially if anyone found out about Rin’s disappearing act from his own coffin, but he would have done anything for another chance. Now that he had one, there was no way that he could let it walk out the door.

“Look at me,” Sousuke said, reaching over to lift Rin’s chin. Pale cheeks were stained with bloody tears, and he brushed them away with his thumb. “We’re going to figure this shit out, okay? I’m not pissed at you, and I don’t want you to leave. If anything, I want to kick myself for not having the balls to say something sooner.”

“Yamazaki-senpai?” A timid voice accompanied a soft knock on the door, and both of them groaned. “Yamazaki-senpai, the bus is leaving soon. Are you coming with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sousuke grumbled.

“Go on,” Rin whispered. “You don’t want to be late for my funeral.”

* * *

 

Haru ignored the early morning chill as he climbed the stairs to the shrine, picking up the scattered beer bottles with more than a little distaste. The area was deserted at this hour, and it gave him enough time to say his goodbyes without the intrusion of others. Pushing the doors open, he crept inside, careful to close it gently behind him.

He could still smell faint remnants of the incense from the previous night, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat as he knelt down in front of the closed coffin. It wasn’t fair. After finally having him back in their lives, Rin was gone so suddenly, and Haru felt his absence so strongly that it cut right through him.

Alone and surrounded by flowers and gifts placed by Rin’s coffin, he lowered his head and let grief pour out of him. He wouldn’t break down in front of the others; they needed his stoicism to help them through this. Now, though, without their eyes on him, he could let his tears flow freely, spilling pain and regret in droplets onto the floor.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. They were going to stand together on the world stage and swim together just like they’d always wanted. Haru wasn’t supposed to have to stand up there without Rin beside him.

He couldn’t be angry with Rin, though. More than anything, he was grateful. Without Rin, he wouldn’t have found his own dream, and he’d have no future ahead of him. It would never be the same, but he didn’t want to admit it.

“Thank you,” Haru said softly once he’d composed himself again. “I’m going to keep swimming for you, Rin, and I know that you’ll still be right there with me.”

Standing, he wiped his face and took several slow, deep breaths. He could get through the day and then lock himself away for the rest of the week to get his head on straight again. A sigh escaped him as he started towards the door, but he stopped in his tracks as his gaze fell upon the table near the entrance.

Rin’s goggles weren’t supposed to be there – he was certain that they’d been in the coffin – but they were sitting in plain sight as if their owner had simply left them behind on his way out. With a trembling hand, Haru picked them up and turned back to the coffin, hesitating for only a second before crossing the room again. The varnish on the lid was scuffed, and unease sent his stomach into a tailspin.

He couldn’t just open up the casket for the sake of a swimming accessory, could he? Even so, he found himself reaching for the lid, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he carefully pushed it over, just enough to get a look at the interior. Eyes widening, Haru stumbled back, tripping over a vase of flowers, and he looked around wildly.

Dirt and stones lined the coffin, but the peaceful form of his friend was gone. He felt panic bubbling to the surface, and he shoved it back down as he shook his head. There wasn’t time to reach any kind of conclusion. Telling the rest of Rin’s loved ones about the development would only stir up a frenzy, but could he really sit through the funeral as if nothing was wrong?

 _Breathe_ , he told himself. _His family needs closure. You can figure this out afterwards, but right now, they need to think that this is final. If you tell them the truth, it’s only going to hurt them more._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All lyric quotes are from various Ozzy songs with the song title, album, and year of release noted.
> 
> I'm having fun with this one so far, and it's probably going to be pretty angsty as it goes on. I wanted to add a touch of realism to it, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Rin would have to come to terms with a lot of things regarding his situation, so you can expect some revelations for him in upcoming chapters. Some will be great for him, others... not so much.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and feel free to harass me on tumblr - [ladylasa](ladylasa.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no point in screaming,  
> 'Cause you won't be heard.  
> Now the tables have turned.  
> It was the ultimate sin.
> 
> \- The Ultimate Sin (1986)

He should have said something. He should have called the police or done anything except stand by passively while turmoil raged within him. It was too late now, though. The ashes had already been buried at the Matsuoka family grave, and any opportunity Haru had to speak up had been buried with them.

The walk back to his house was somber; even Nagisa was subdued from the ceremony. Haru had fully intended to go home and spend some time sorting out his thoughts alone, but his friends apparently had other ideas. He knew he hadn’t been thinking clearly – he still wasn’t – but Rin’s body was _gone_ , and he should have done something other than pretend that nothing was amiss.

Once they were settled in the living room, he tuned out the conversation. They were reminiscing about the good times, smiling and reliving moments like the relay that had changed everything for them. They didn’t seem to think much of his silence, but a gentle nudge on his arm pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Haru?” Makoto was looking at him expectantly, and Haru realized that he was expected to respond to a question he hadn’t even heard.

“Rin wasn’t there,” Haru said, dismissing whatever the others had asked him.

“I know,” Makoto said gently. “But he’ll always be with us, right?”

“No,” Haru said, shaking his head. “He wasn’t in the casket.”

“There are many theories that suggest that the spirit lives on even after the body expires,” Rei began, placing a sympathetic hand on Haru’s shoulder. “Maybe he’s somewhere watching us right now.”

Haru blinked once and then stared at them each in turn. He should have just left it alone. After all, they couldn’t do anything about it now even if they understood his meaning. It nagged at him, though, his brow furrowing in thought as he searched for the right words. Failing to find a softer way to explain, he simply shook his head again, shrugging off Rei’s hand.

“His _body_ wasn’t there,” he said flatly. “I went to the shrine early and found these on the table.” Withdrawing the goggles from his pocket, he dropped them on the table between them. “I just wanted to put them back in there for him but…”

He trailed off, unable to continue. His gaze was locked on the goggles, replaying the moments in his mind while his friends stared at him in shock. The floodgates of stunned silence broke suddenly, and Haru had to close his eyes against the onslaught of confusion, most notably, Nagisa’s wail that _Rin-chan is a zombie!_

“He couldn’t have just walked out of there,” Rei said, clearly disturbed, which Nagisa quickly latched onto with a horrified shriek that someone had stolen their friend’s body.

“Haru,” Makoto cut in. “You should report this, call the police or something.”

“I know.”

Still, he made no move to make the call. Something about the whole scene had been off – as if finding Rin’s coffin empty hadn’t been strange enough – but he couldn’t quite place it. Someone had been there before him, and he recalled the empty bottles that had littered the stairs. Could someone really do something like that? The mere thought was sickening, but there was no other logical exclamation.

There was one other possibility that came to mind out of nowhere. _What if he faked his own death?_ If that were the case, then Haru was certain that there had to be someone else in on it. He couldn’t figure out why, though. Rin seemed to have everything going for him, so he would’ve had no reason to do something that extreme.

“I need to think this through,” Haru said finally, silencing the growing exchange between Nagisa and Rei. “I just… I have a feeling that there’s more to it that we’re not seeing.” He knew it sounded crazy, but the impossible was less gruesome than cold reality. “Until then, keep it between us.”

* * *

 

Sousuke leaned back against the door to his room once he was inside, feeling entirely drained. His headache had abated somewhat, but he still felt like shit, and he’d planned to spend the rest of the afternoon away from the shared stories of his teammates. He had plenty of his own memories that he could add to the mix, but socializing would only exhaust him further.

Besides, there was only one person he wanted to talk to at the moment, and that individual had reclaimed the bottom bunk.

As he approached, apprehension set in. Rin was motionless on the bed, his chest still, and he looked every bit the corpse he was supposed to be. The closer he grew, the more his heart raced, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to think about the possibility that Rin had come back for one night just to leave him again, especially after what Rin had discovered upon his return.

Rin began to stir when he reached the side of the bed, and scarlet eyes opened only long enough to regard him before Rin rolled over to face the wall. Sousuke released the breath he’d been holding, taking a step back to place a plastic bag on the desk. Deciding that Rin had the right idea, he stripped down to his boxers, taking a moment to hang his suit in the closet. No sooner had he started climbing up to the top bunk, cold fingers wrapped around his ankle and threatened his balance.

“I moved over to make room for you, dumbass,” Rin said, giving Sousuke’s leg a light tug.

“Are you trying to set a record here? You have any idea how many times you’ve almost given me a fucking heart attack in the past twenty-four hours alone?” The grip on his ankle loosened, and Sousuke dropped back down to the floor. He received only a look of impatience in response. “Fine.”

It took a moment for them to get comfortable, and the result was nearly identical to how he’d awoken that morning. Rin’s head rested on his chest, one arm wrapped around him, and Sousuke held him close. He wasn’t about to admit how many times he’d wished for a moment like this, even if he couldn’t feel a heartbeat against him.

The whole turn of events was still rather unbelievable, and Sousuke unconsciously held Rin just a little bit tighter. Rin didn’t seem to mind, smiling against his skin, and Sousuke’s mind conjured up the feeling of those lips at the side of his throat.

“Sousuke?” Rin’s voice was soft, with a trace of concern. “Your heart is pounding. You sure you’re okay? I mean, if you’re not comfortable with this…”

“Just shut up for five minutes.”

“You don’t have to be an asshole about it,” Rin muttered.

“Rin.” The sharp tone of his voice caused the other to look up, and Sousuke leaned down to press his lips against Rin’s before he lost his nerve. Pulling back slightly, he couldn’t resist a smirk. “I said shut up already.”

Rin was suddenly very thankful that he no longer had the ability to blush. While he’d read the messages Sousuke had sent to his phone, he still wasn’t entirely sure where they stood. Apparently, Sousuke wanted to make his opinion on the matter perfectly clear with no room for doubt.

“You came back from the dead,” Sousuke said, the smirk fading. “I’m not going to take that for granted.”

* * *

 

It took a minute for Sousuke’s eyes to adjust to the darkness when he opened them, and eventually, he could make out Rin pulling on a hooded sweatshirt. Rin navigated the room as if it were as bright as day, but there was an edge to his movements, a tension in his form that was waiting to snap.

“Where are you going?” Sousuke asked, sitting up.

“Need to get out,” Rin said, his words clipped.

Something in his voice struck Sousuke as wrong, and he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Things had been so calm when they’d drifted off to sleep earlier, but now, Rin was practically bristling at the prospect of prolonging the conversation. Concern and a hint of fear coursed through Sousuke.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“For fucks sake,” Rin snapped. “I can’t just sit around here all the damned time, now can I?”

Rin regretted the outburst, but he turned away with a snarl instead of offering an apology. Waking up next to Sousuke had been great. That is, until the sound of his pulse had caused Rin’s insides to twist with hunger. Every second he spent in the same room chipped away at his control, taunting him with the prospect of a hot meal that would be more satisfying than anything he’d ever consumed.

He couldn’t allow himself to hurt Sousuke like that again.

Tucking his hair under a baseball cap, he pulled the hood up and started towards the door. With any luck, he wouldn’t run into anyone who might recognize him. He could feel Sousuke’s eyes on him, drilling into his back in search of some form of explanation for his behavior, but Rin couldn’t add a voice to the protests of his body. Sousuke didn’t need to know what he had to do; _he_ didn’t even want to think about how the night was going to end.

“Rin, wait.”

His hand was already on the doorknob, but he hesitated, squeezing his eyes shut. The sound of plastic crinkling behind him almost tempted him to turn around. He resisted, though, standing perfectly still as Sousuke approached and pushed something into his other hand.

“I picked up a new phone last night,” Sousuke said. “You can’t make calls or send texts from your old one, so I had this one put in my name.” There was a pause, and the next words caused Rin’s shoulders to drop. “You’re coming back, right?”

“Yeah, Sou,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll be back.”

He had to get out of there before he lost his damn mind and ended up doing something stupid. Rushing out into the hall, he listened carefully as he made his way through the building, avoiding any chance of running into another student. No one crossed his path on his way to the main gate, and he slipped off campus without any trouble at all.

His nerves were on edge nonetheless. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he needed to cool the burn in his throat, and the prospect of what he had to do scared the shit out of him. There was no way that he’d be able to go through with it. What happened the night before was a fluke – he’d just woken up and hadn’t even realized what was going on until Sousuke had said his name.

As Rin leaned against the wall in an alleyway a few kilometers away from the school, he continued to try to convince himself that he had to do _something_ before the hunger overwhelmed him. It couldn’t be that difficult to pick someone in a bar and take what he needed, and it wasn’t like he would have to take much, right?

A door opened further into the alley, light spilling from the building’s interior, and Rin’s gaze locked on the man stepping out of the establishment. It was now or never, and so Rin pushed himself away from the wall, letting instinct take over.

* * *

 

Sousuke hated the dread that welled up inside of him, and it had only grown with every minute that passed since Rin had walked out the door. He wasn’t really sure if he was afraid of what might happen to Rin or of what Rin might do to someone else. It was obvious that Rin didn’t want to explain where he was going.

He wanted to be relieved when his phone rang, but the moment he heard the voice on the other end of the line, he knew that things had gone terribly wrong. Rin was a mess, practically incoherent in his ramblings, and Sousuke had no hope of keeping up with the frantic words.

“Slow down,” he said. “Where are you?” That, at least, got him something close to an answer. “Stay there. I’m on my way.”

 

His lungs were screaming by the time he slowed to a stop, looking around for any sign of Rin, and as he took a few steps forward, he heard the shaking sobs coming from the alley beside him. Deep down, he knew he didn’t want to see what was waiting for him, but he forced himself to continue into the shadows. Rin was there, and Rin needed him. That was all the reason he needed.

The first thing that caught his attention was the lifeless figure sprawled on the pavement, and Sousuke’s stomach turned at the sight. Swallowing down bile, he tore his gaze away from the body to regard Rin, who was sitting only a few paces away, his back to the wall. He didn’t look injured, but tears were steadily flowing, trailing down to mix with the blood staining his face and clothes.

“Sousuke, I…” Rin trailed off and looked up, barely keeping himself together. “I couldn’t stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. They really mean a lot to me, and I'm so glad that people are enjoying this. 
> 
> Feel free to harass me on Tumblr - [ ladylasa ](ladylasa.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knows the answers?  
> Is it friend or is it foe?  
> Don't ask me questions  
> That are things you should not know.
> 
> \- Waiting for Darkness (Bark at the Moon, 1983)

Sousuke stared at the scene before him, silently screaming at himself to move, to do _something_ to try to fix this. There was no way to change what had happened, though. He couldn’t very well bring the stranger back to life, but he could at least try to put Rin back together. Squaring his shoulders, he rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Rin and pulling him to his feet.

“Come on,” he said gruffly. “We have to get the hell out of here.”

“But… the body…”

“Leave it,” Sousuke said, barely taking a moment to decide.

It was damn near miraculous that no one else had found it already, but he didn’t want to press their luck any further. They had to put as much distance between themselves and the scene as possible before anyone stumbled upon it. Hiding the body was nowhere near as important as making sure they didn’t get caught with it.

Rin almost argued, but he shut his mouth and leaned against Sousuke instead, his body still shaking with quiet sobs. Guilt had quickly become a staple in his new existence, chipping away at everything he’d achieved over the course of the past year. All of that was gone now, and he was left with the cold knowledge that he’d just ended someone’s life.

He barely registered the walk back to Samezuka, his gaze cast down as Sousuke led him up to their dorm. The man in the alley could have been anyone, he could have had a family waiting for him to come home, and now they would never see him again. Sharp fingernails dug into his palm as Rin clenched one hand into a fist.

“It was an accident,” Sousuke said, making an attempt to reassure him. “It wasn’t your fault, Rin.”

“Like hell it wasn’t!” Pulling away, his shock turned to anger, and he fixed a glare on Sousuke. “I fucking _killed_ him, Sou! I pinned him to the wall and drained him until there was nothing left. And you know what the worst part was?”

Sousuke stared at him, the sudden rage catching him off guard. Rin was staring at him as if expecting an answer that he couldn’t give, and it struck him just how dangerous the situation was becoming. The bitter laugh that escaped Rin’s lips sent a chill up his spine, prompting him to take slow, measured steps back towards the door.

“Not even a guess?” Rin’s eyes narrowed as he stalked forward, matching Sousuke’s retreat with each step until the other’s back hit the door. Placing his palm against the surface, Rin met his gaze evenly as he continued. “I _enjoyed_ it. Just the feeling of his life flowing through me, it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I felt powerful, invincible, and the hardest thing is not wanting to feel like that again.” He grinned, baring his teeth, and leaned close to whisper his next words in Sousuke’s ear. “How can you look at me and not think I’m a monster?”

The cool breath carrying Rin’s words stirred more than just fear, but Sousuke retained the presence of mind to recognize that the spike of desire was starkly at odds with the situation. He could practically taste the blood on Rin’s skin, and he shouldn’t have wanted to reverse their positions and clean it from Rin’s lips. Maybe that made him just as fucked up as everything that had happened.

“Rin,” he said, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. “Back off.”

For a few tense seconds, neither of them moved, but then Rin slowly withdrew his hand and stepped back, suddenly unable to look him in the eye. There were no mumbled apologies, no requests for understanding, and Rin found himself at a loss when he tried to figure out how to move forward. He’d crossed a line – hell, he’d crossed several lines – and it was likely that the death at his hands wasn’t going to be an isolated incident.

“Hey.” Sousuke’s voice was soft, and he reached out to rest his hand on Rin’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be alright. You’re not a monster, so stop saying stupid shit like that.”

Rin wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t press the issue. He glanced up at Sousuke, uncertainty in his eyes, but managed to relax with a sigh. Stepping back, he grabbed a towel and his shower supplies and started towards the door.

“The showers should be cleared out by now,” he mumbled. “Guess I should get cleaned up.”

With a nod, Sousuke moved aside as Rin passed, and once the door clicked shut, he dropped down onto the bottom bunk. The silence in the room was stifling, giving him no choice but to face his own conflicted thoughts. Accepting what Rin had done shouldn’t have come so easily. He should have been apprehensive, at the very least, but even after seeing the body with his own eyes, Sousuke’s immediate concern had been Rin. It still was.

A whispered expletive hissed through his teeth as he lifted his hands to rub his temples. There was no way to make sense of it, and he could still feel the lingering arousal from Rin backing him up against the door. It wasn’t as if Rin didn’t know how he felt, but it was too soon to even try to push for more. Rin had his own issues to sort through, and he sure as hell didn’t need Sousuke pressuring him into more physical contact.

No, Rin needed his support now more than ever, and Sousuke would put that first. He’d waited this long to even hint at how hard he’d fallen for his best friend; he could wait a little longer to watch Rin come undone beneath him. He didn’t particularly _like_ the thought of being patient, but he liked the thought of losing Rin even less.

* * *

 

Haru stared at the digital display of the clock beside his bed, exhaustion weighing him down, but his mind wasn’t cooperating with his need for sleep. He’d already been up once to take an extended soak in the tub, which had done nothing to ease his fears for once. Even water hadn’t helped.

Resigning himself to the fact that he’d be up for the rest of the night, he dragged himself out of bed and pulled on his clothes. He needed answers, and he only knew of one person who might have them. If Rin had faked his death and hadn’t come to him for help, then there was only one other person who could be involved.

Yamazaki had been obviously hungover at the funeral; combined with the empty bottles at the shrine and the knowledge that he’d be the most likely person Rin would as for help, Haru was all but certain that he had a hand in this. Even if he wasn’t directly involved, Yamazaki had to know something.

Haru was able to catch the last train that would bring him close to Samezuka – he’d worry about getting home later – and as the dorm building loomed ahead of him, he started to second guess his decision. It was the middle of the night, Yamazaki was probably asleep, and they all had school in the morning. Still, some things were more important than sitting through another lesson.

The halls were abandoned as he made his way through them, pausing here and there to get his bearings. He’d visited Rin a few times, but wandering the school in the dark with no one to ask for assistance made the task challenging. Eventually, he reached his destination, and he paused with mild surprise when he saw light spilling out from beneath the door. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping. Then again, a guilty conscience could be just as much trouble as figuring out a mystery that turned his mind in every direction possible.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he knocked lightly on the door. Yamazaki might be awake, but Haru saw no need to wake every other resident on the floor. Several seconds ticked by before he heard movement from within, and he felt himself tensing. His interactions with Rin’s friend had been less than pleasant, but he had to hope that their shared concern would be conducive to a civil discussion.

“Nanase?” Sousuke’s surprise turned to a scowl the moment he recognized his guest, and he started to close the door before Haru placed a hand on it. “What the hell do you want?”

“Rin’s coffin was empty.” There, he said it, direct and to the point. Haru saw no reason to pretend that they were friends or sugar coat his discovery. The simple truth was the best course to take. “I thought you’d want to know.”

Haru watched for any sign of reaction, holding his breath as he waited. If anything, the scowl deepened, and Haru took a step back as Sousuke moved into the hall. Their first meeting flashed through his mind, his footsteps bringing his back to the wall much like he’d been backed into a vending machine at the time. He didn’t like confrontation, but he’d find a way out of this if Sousuke’s threatening stance escalated into actual violence.

“And what the fuck were you doing messing with his coffin?” Sousuke asked, keeping his voice low. “What kind of sick fuck would go looking through a guy’s casket? Wanted to get off on seeing him one last time?”

“It’s not like that!” Haru protested, a little louder than he should have. With a nervous glance down the hall, he continued in a hushed tone, resigning himself to the fact that he’d have to put forth the effort of an explanation. Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, he grabbed the elastic band and brought out the goggles. “I found these at the shrine, on the table near the door. I just wanted to put them back with him, but he wasn’t there.”

“So, why are you telling me?” Sousuke asked, not budging an inch. “Why didn’t you say anything at the funeral?”

“I don’t know,” Haru said, looking away. “You were his friend, too. I don’t like you, but he did, and I thought you had a right to know.” It was only part of the truth, and he wanted to kick himself for holding back. Now wasn’t the time to be vague or dance around the subject. Taking a deep breath, he looked up to meet the other’s gaze. “If you know anything about what happened to him, I’m not asking you to tell me. I just need to know that he’s okay.”

“I watched Rin get hit by a car,” Sousuke said evenly. “I watched him die before the ambulance even got there. And now you think I had something to do with his body going missing?” He shook his head angrily, his posture betraying how close he was to physically removing the unwanted guest from the building. “You’ve got some balls, Nanase.”

* * *

 

As expected, the showers were empty when Rin arrived, and he paused by the sinks to gauge his appearance. The wall behind him was the only thing visible, his own reflection absent. With a shaking hand, he brushed his fingertips across the glass, looking over his shoulder once before returning his gaze to the mirror.

He let his hand fall back to his side as he headed for the stalls, deciding to ponder that curiosity later; he had enough on his mind already. The hot water was welcome, and he watched the crimson hued stream disappear down the drain, his palms resting on the tile in front of him. Again, he felt the weight of his actions pressing down on him, tightening around his chest, and he resisted the urge to slam his fist into the wall.

It wasn’t _fair_ , he thought for the hundredth time. He was supposed to live, to train until he made it all the way to the Olympics, to stand on that podium accepting the gold medal. Now, he was nothing more than a pale shadow in the night, a murderer. Seeking out his friends who had helped him through his troubles before was out of the question, and the loss hit him just as hard as the way his dream had been ripped away from him. Rin missed them, but they couldn’t get involved in his mess this time. It just wasn’t safe. Were he less selfish, he’d keep Sousuke at arm’s length, too, but he couldn’t push away the only person he had left.

Thinking of his best friend was a mistake. Rin recalled all too well how Sousuke’s pulse raced just beneath the surface of his skin when they’d returned to their room. Somehow, Rin knew that only a small part of that had been fear, and it added to his growing conflict. He knew how the other felt – to be honest, Rin felt the same way – but it was as new to him as his new existence, and it scared him.

He couldn’t bear to risk hurting Sousuke, but if Sousuke wanted him just as badly, then he should probably take that into consideration. After tonight, they both knew the risks. Sousuke could make his own decisions, and if they ended up aligning with Rin’s desires, then Rin couldn’t find it in himself to turn him away.

Something akin to peace finally spread through him. It had been a rough night, but it wasn’t the end of the world. He had to come to terms with how things had changed, how he’d changed, and make the best of it. Lapsing into self-destructive despair like he’d done after Australia would do him no good. The guilt remained, and he was sure that it would manifest every time he had to hunt, but it was surprisingly manageable.

Turning off the water, he quickly dried off and draped the towel over his head as he pulled on a fresh set of clothes. He’d opted for jeans again, too keyed up to even think about settling down for the night, and he padded across the floor to leave the showers behind him. Maybe Sousuke would be awake enough to talk about this. They’d both slept here and there throughout the day.

Before he even turned the last corner, he heard the tail end of a conversation, and while the voices were hushed, Rin heard them just as clearly as if he’d been standing beside them. _Haru?_ He froze in place for a few seconds before risking a glance around the corner. Sousuke looked livid, and Rin realized that he was still covering for him, refusing to tell Haru anything. Gratitude surged within, but concern overshadowed it. It was obvious that if he let the confrontation continue, it could erupt into violence any second, but revealing his presence was near the top of the list of very bad ideas he’d entertained tonight.

The last remark caught his attention and he grit his teeth. _Shit._ He couldn’t hide forever, and he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm ignoring my other fic, but this one won't leave me alone. Thank you again for all the wonderful comments and kudos. They really mean a lot to me.
> 
> Feel free to harass me on Tumblr - [ladylasa](ladylasa.tumblr.com)
> 
> I also have an RP blog where I write as Karian Silver from my novel Lost & Found - [silvertigertraveler](silvertigertraveler.tumblr.com)  
> And if you're curious about my book, you can find out more on the [Darkflame Books](www.darkflamebooks.com) website.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can understand that what you see you think is real,  
> But underneath the surface is a wound that cannot heal.
> 
> "Secret Loser" (The Ultimate Sin - 1986)

“Are you trying to wake up the entire fucking dorm?” Rin hissed. His sudden appearance had both of them staring at him, and he realized that maybe he should have approached at a normal pace instead of seeming to materialize out of thin air. He couldn’t face the pained surprise on Haru’s expression, so he focused on Sousuke instead. “Give him some space.”

Without another word, he headed into his room, leaving the door open behind him. The bundle of soiled clothes fell into the basket, and he moved to lean against the wall near the window. Haru followed first, blue eyes wide as he stared at Rin, trying to believe that they were standing face to face. He’d intended to try to get some answers out of Yamazaki, but he was entirely unprepared for Rin’s presence.

“Have you lost your mind?” Sousuke demanded once the door snapped shut. “What happened to staying off the radar?”

“Haru came all the way here,” Rin said with a shrug. “I’m not going to just ignore him. Besides, he can keep quiet, right Haru?”

Rin’s attention was on him again, and Haru fought to make his voice obey. Exhaustion had sapped his will to keep his thoughts to himself, and the onslaught of emotions over the past few days had left him raw. Hands clenching at his sides, his grasp on his usual, calm demeanor shattered.

“Yamazaki has a point,” he said evenly. “You’ve been here the whole time. After everything you told me about dreams and the future, after filling my head with talk of standing on the world stage together, you went and pulled something like this.” Haru was shaking as he took a step forward, his voice wavering. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put everyone through? Your friends, your family? Why? If you want everyone to stay away from you, then fine, but at least tell me why you did it.”

“You think I was planning on getting run over?” Rin countered, stunned.

“Drop the act,” Haru said. “You wouldn’t be standing here without a scratch if you’d been hit by a car. We both know that you faked it, and apparently had Yamazaki help with this stupid idea, so the least you can do is give me an explanation.”

“Faked it?” Rin echoed. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing, and he pushed himself away from the wall. “Why the hell would I fake my own death? I finally had my act together, I was on the right path to achieve my dream, and now all of that’s turned to shit. I was dead for _two days,_ Haru. We went jogging, I heard people shouting, and the last thing I saw was the front end of a Toyota. It hurt like hell for about thirty seconds, and then it was lights out. I woke up last night in a goddamn box, and you’re going to stand there and act like I planned all of this?”

Haru stared at him as he approached, his heart beating faster with every word. The low tone of Rin’s voice only made things worse. Rin should have been yelling or crying, or both, but instead, he looked ready to tear someone apart.

“This isn’t funny,” Haru said quietly.

“Of course it is,” Rin said with a humorless laugh. “It’s a fucking riot.” The dim glow of scarlet might have been a trick of the light, but Haru sucked in a breath when Rin’s pupils shifted to cat-like slits. “I thought you knew me better than that. But no, you think that I would just throw everything away without a second thought. You want to bitch about what I’m putting everyone else through, but do you have even the slightest idea of what _I’m_ trying to deal with?”

The question forced itself through sharp teeth and even sharper fangs as Rin’s temper flared, and the teasing scent of fear clouded his senses, nearly chasing away his ability to remain somewhat rational. His gaze flicked to Haru’s racing pulse, just beneath the surface of skin, before he met deep blue eyes again. Even though he’d already fed, his instincts were screaming at him. Any second now, Haru’s fight or flight response should kick in, and Rin absently wondered which one he’d choose.

“Rin, that’s enough,” Sousuke said, stepping between them.

“When did you start taking his side?” Rin snarled.

“When you started acting like a total dick,” Sousuke said flatly.

Several minutes passed in tense silence, the only sounds the frantic heartbeats of the two who still had them, and Sousuke realized the position in which he’d just placed himself. Rin was seething with barely suppressed rage, aggression clear in his posture as he glared at them. With a low growl, he grabbed a sweatshirt and his shoes and shoved past the pair. He didn’t trust himself to stay in such close proximity of his friends without losing himself to the demands of his new instincts; he doubted that he could control himself if he didn’t get out of there.

His sudden departure pulled Haru out of his temporary paralysis, and he turned to follow only to feel a strong grip on his upper arm. He glanced at the hand briefly before looking up as Sousuke, his eyes narrowing. He didn’t have to speak to convey his thoughts, but Sousuke just shook his head.

“Let go,” Haru ordered.

“Don’t be stupid,” Sousuke said. “You don’t want to go after him right now. There’s no telling what he’ll do.”

“Rin wouldn’t hurt me.” His voice lacked conviction, and he tried to make himself believe them.

“Yeah? I thought the same thing until last night.” Sousuke released his hold on Haru’s arm and turned his head, pulling down his shirt collar to reveal the twin puncture wounds at the side of his neck. “He’s dangerous, Nanase. I figured that out the hard way.”

Despite the encounter only moments before, Haru didn’t want to believe that Rin had changed that much in such a short span of time, but with the evidence staring at him, the truth finally hit home. It swirled around him, threatening to pull him under, and it was suddenly impossible to breathe. He was vaguely aware of words heading in his direction, but it was only noise, and it wasn’t nearly enough to drown out the chaos in his own head.

“Why?”  Haru asked when he could find his voice again. He clung desperately to the variable that kept him anchored to the present, meeting teal eyes with confusion in his own. “Why did you get between us?”

There were several answers Sousuke could have chosen. _Maybe I’m not as much of an asshole as I act. Maybe it’s easier to deal with this shit if someone else knows about it, too. Maybe I don’t like you, but you know Rin as well as I do, and between the two of us, we might just have a chance to keep him from turning into a complete monster._

“Because Rin would never forgive himself if he crossed that line with you.” It was an honest answer, as honest as the other possibilities that had raced through his mind. “Go home, Nanase. He’ll be back once he cools down.”

“Can’t,” Haru said, looking away again. “I took the last train to get here.” He hesitated before letting out a deep sigh. “And call me Haru. I think we’re beyond the point of formality.”

Sousuke arched a brow. Haru had a point, he admitted – albeit grudgingly. In light of Rin’s death and subsequent return, the animosity between them seemed downright trivial. He vaguely heard Haru mumble something about wanting to swim and gave a snort in response.

“Join the club,” he muttered before understanding hit him. “You mean right now? It’s almost three in the morning, and you want to go to the fucking pool?”

“Water helps me think,” Haru said with a shrug, and Sousuke almost laughed. Of course he’d want to go to the pool in the middle of the night; it shouldn’t have been a surprise at all.

* * *

 

Sousuke kept an eye on the time, occasionally glancing at the clock while Haru swam endless laps in the pool. They’d have to clear out before the rest of the school started waking up, but they still had about half an hour left. In a way, he envied Haru’s ability to give himself over to the water, to cut through it effortlessly as if he were a part of it.

“He’s going to be amazing when he goes pro.”

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and Sousuke glanced up to see Rin leaning against the wall beside the bench, his gaze locked on the figure in the pool. His expression was impassive, but his posture was noticeably more relaxed than it had been when he’d stormed out earlier, and Sousuke dared to hope that he was dealing with the saner version of Rin.

“Yeah,” he agreed, unsure of what else to say.

“About what happened upstairs,” Rin began, and his voice held more uncertainty than Sousuke had ever heard in it. “I’m sorry. This shit is just really tough to figure out. There’s so much that I don’t understand, and it’s fucking with my head. Every time I start to get angry, it’s like something else is trying to take over, and I don’t know how to control it.”

“You’ve always been an emotional pain in the ass,” Sousuke said, trying to keep the conversation from heading down a disturbing path. He wasn’t nearly as successful as he’d hoped. “I get that it’s a lot to deal with. It’s a lot for me to take in, and I’m not the one in the middle of all of this, but you’ve got to get your head on right again. Because when you lose your shit, people wind up dead. I tried to talk myself into thinking that you just slipped up when you went out earlier, but if this new part of you is telling you to kill people, then you have to fight it.”

“How?” Rin asked. His eyes pleaded for some kind of direction, some hidden answer that would make everything better. “It’s not like this whole undead crap comes with a goddamn instruction manual. How the hell am I supposed to fight it when the first thought that goes through my head when I see some stranger on the street is _food_?”

“You could try _not_ killing people,” Haru said, joining them. A towel was draped over his shoulders, water dripping from his hair onto the tile. “It would be a start, at least.”

Both Rin and Sousuke stared at him for a few seconds before the latter broke out in laughter, earning himself a look of confusion. Sousuke and Haru might not be friends, but Sousuke had to admit that he had a knack for breaking the tension at the right time. Even Rin cracked a smile, shaking his head before running a hand through his hair.

“Thanks, Haru,” Rin said. “Never would have thought of that on my own.”

It was easy to pretend that this nightmare was just a remnant of a dream, that he hadn’t died and come back as something other than human, and Rin savored it for as long as he could. Reality was cruel, though, and it refused to be ignored. He could feel the approaching dawn, warning him to take shelter from its burning light, and his muscles tensed in response.

“So, what did the water tell you, Haru?” Sousuke asked, ignoring Rin’s surprise at the familiarity.

“That you’re a jackass, but you’re in love with Rin, so I’ll tolerate you,” Haru said without missing a beat. “The trains should be running again soon, so I’m going to shower and head home.”

He left the pair in stunned silence and headed for the locker room, and Rin watched him go before snickering. He caught Sousuke’s glare, which only made him laugh harder, but he sobered when the other glanced away.

“You got to admit,” Rin said. “There’s something to be said for his whole ‘no bullshit’ attitude.” He gave Sousuke a light nudge. “So, first name basis now? What the hell happened while I was out?”

“Shut up,” he grumbled. “It made sense, so don’t make a big deal out of it.” His feigned offense could only last so long, and he managed a small smile. “I guess we came to an understanding. We both agree that you need a babysitter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I may not be able to update next weekend because I'll be out of town at Aggie Con. So, if you're going to be near the College Station, TX area, you can find me at the Darkflame Books table at the con.
> 
> You can also harass me on tumblr - ladylasa


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are no impossible dreams  
> There are no invisible seams  
> Each night when the day is through,  
> I don't ask much - I just want you.
> 
> "I Just Want You" (Ozzmosis - 1995)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this. I was out of town last weekend, and I haven't had much time to write. Just to give a little bit of warning, Rin discovers another change in how his body works in this chapter, and it may be disturbing to some readers.

Everything was in black and white, from the darkened buildings towering around him to the pale steam rising from grey concrete. The lack of color didn’t concern him, though, and Rin moved like a ghost among the crowd. He listened to fragments of conversations as he walked, his head low and hood up, dismissing most of them the second he realized that they held nothing of interest.

Tokyo provided the perfect hunting grounds. The anonymity of the city meant that he could take his time in stalking his prey, waiting for the perfect opportunity. Tonight’s came in the form of a man barely older than himself who appeared to be lost, and Rin paused to watch the stranger as the corners of his lips twitched upward.

A few promising words and a subtle suggestion, and Rin had his new friend eagerly following him through the streets. He kept up the charade for a little while, just long enough to convince the wayward traveler that the shadowy alley was the quickest shortcut to his destination, but once they were away from prying eyes, he pinned the other against the bricks.

Moments after his fangs sank into flesh, strong arms wrapped around him from behind, warm breath dancing across the back of his neck. The hands that trailed down his abdomen were familiar, teasing the skin at the edge of his shirt, and a low growl escaped him. His senses were on overdrive, and the heat spreading through him made it easy to lose himself.

Rin left the empty remains of his breakfast to slide down the wall as he turned to face the figure who’d joined him. Leaning up, he pressed his bloodstained lips to the other’s, and his tongue flicked out as Sousuke pulled him close. Every inch of him was burning with strength and desire, and he guided them across the alley to hold Sousuke against the opposite wall as their kiss intensified.

* * *

 

When his eyes blinked open, there was a moment of confusion when he realized his heart wasn’t racing. After a dream like that, it should have been, but it remained stubbornly motionless within his chest. Rin groaned and rolled over, reaching for his phone on the floor beside the bed. The outline of dying sunlight at the edges of the blanket over the window meant that he would be confined to the room for a little while longer, but Sousuke should have been back from practice by now.

A week had passed since he’d woken up in his current predicament, and during that time, he wanted to think that he’d become a little better at handling his instincts. Last night, he’d actually managed to keep his target alive. The poor bastard probably ended up in the hospital, but at least he was still breathing.

He’d grown into the habit of slipping out after Sousuke had fallen asleep at night, and he hadn’t called him for help after that first incident. Rin figured out how to cover his tracks out of necessity; allowing himself to be discovered would be disastrous, and he absolutely did not need the community to work itself up into a panic over unexplained deaths. Mysterious disappearances at least left some room for speculation, but it would be difficult to explain the sudden increase in the murder rate.

Of course, he still felt guilty about it. He tried to convince himself that he had to do whatever it took to survive, and if that meant that he had to take a life to sustain his own, then he’d have to make that sacrifice and deal with it. There was a fair amount of concern that the thought was growing less disturbing each night, though.

_Had to pick something up at the store. I’ll be back in about an hour._

The timestamp on the text message was only five minutes ago, and Rin decided that it was probably what had pulled him from what was turning into a very stimulating dream. Setting the phone down on the floor, he relaxed on the mattress again, his mood darkening. Not only was he _not_ going back to sleep, but he was stuck in the dorm by himself with the memories of what he’d seen while asleep still running through his head.

He wasn’t really sure where things stood between the two of them. Sousuke had taken to sharing the bottom bunk with him, but that’s as far as they’d gone. Hell, they hadn’t even kissed yet, which added to Rin’s frustration. Then again, maybe Sousuke was still trying to figure out how to approach things with him considering the circumstances. It was all very annoying, Rin thought with an exaggerated sigh. There was obviously something there between them, so why the hell couldn’t Sousuke just do something about it?

Rin’s thoughts kept returning to that damned dream, and he wondered what it would be like to feel Sousuke’s hands on him like that. Closing his eyes, he let his mind pick up where his subconscious left off, his fingers trailing down his abdomen. It hadn’t occurred to him that things might not work the way they used to when he was alive, but it only took a bit of concentration for his body to respond.

His head tipped back when he closed his fingers around himself, imagining himself pinned beneath Sousuke. For a few precious minutes, it was Sousuke stroking him and causing his back to arch, it was Sousuke whose gentle touches became faster and more insistent, and it was no surprise that it was Sousuke’s name that fell from his lips when he spiraled over the edge.

As he slowly opened his eyes, he swore under his breath. Some of his frustration was gone, but he knew without looking that he’d made a mess of himself. Glancing down, he froze, staring at the splash of crimson on his skin where he’d expected white, and his eyes widened before he remembered how to move again.

* * *

 

By the time Sousuke returned, Rin had already changed into clean clothes, having stashed his other ones at the bottom of the laundry basket. Thankfully, the black tank top hid the suspicious color of the stains, but it still left him unsettled. If, by some chance, he and Sousuke ever managed to get to that point, there was no way he could explain the recently discovered change in his physiology.

“You okay?” Sousuke asked as he kicked off his shoes. “You look pretty out of it.”

“Hmm?” Rin focused on him and shrugged. “I’m fine, just trying to wake up.” Sousuke looked skeptical, but didn’t press the issue, leaving Rin free to change the subject. “What did you need at the store?”

Sousuke almost grinned as he glanced at the bag in his hand, debating on leaving him to guess. He’d learned that Rin was generally not in the mood for games when he first woke up, especially over the course of the past week, and once night fell, hunger tended to kill any humor. After another moment, he pulled a plastic container out of the paper bag and held it out.

“I found a butcher shop a few towns over that sells this,” he said. “Pretty sure it came from a pig, but I just thought…” Sousuke hesitated for a moment, considering how best to phrase his explanation. “I just thought that if this is good enough, then maybe you won’t have to sneak out at night and go after people instead.”

_Maybe there’s hope for us after all,_ Rin thought as he took the container, their fingertips brushing against each other. He estimated that there was about a liter of blood there, and he pulled off the lid carefully. It smelled different, maybe a little stale, but not altogether unpleasant; it should work. Keeping his expression from betraying how it tasted, however, was a challenge. It was reminiscent of a can of soda, left open in the sun on a summer afternoon. At least it took the edge off of his hunger; he’d emptied half of it before setting it down on the desk.

Then the rest of what Sousuke had said sank in. Sousuke knew that he’d been going out at night, and he’d kept quiet about it until he could figure out a possible solution. The distance made sense now, and Rin turned to face him again. He saw guarded hope in Sousuke’s eyes, but Rin’s steps were tentative when he approached.

“That’s why you haven’t brought up anything else about us,” Rin said quietly. “Sousuke, are you afraid of me?”

“Not really,” he said, clearing his throat as he looked away. “I guess maybe a little bit. I don’t know what to expect when you wake up at night. Sometimes it’s like you’re a different person, and if you’re waiting until you think I won’t notice that you’re leaving, then isn’t there a chance that you won’t be able to control yourself?”

“I’m doing everything I can to keep from hurting you again,” Rin said. He lifted a hand to rest his palm against Sousuke’s cheek, his gaze flicking to the faded marks at the side of his throat briefly. “I don’t want you to be afraid. Sou, I’ll do whatever it takes for you to trust me again. All you have to do is ask.”

Fearing that he would lose his nerve, Sousuke let the empty paper bag fall to the floor as he pulled Rin close, his hands resting at the small of his back. When Sousuke captured his lips, Rin melted into him, his mouth opening eagerly, and all thoughts of _you’re not human_ and _you’re a killer_ fled his mind. If Rin killed him in the end, at least he’d have the memory of this moment to hold onto when he drew his final breath.

* * *

 

Makoto wondered why he even bothered knocking; it wasn’t as if Haru ever answered his door. With a sigh, he shook his head and stepped inside, immediately heading for the bathroom. It was Saturday, so it wasn’t as if they had to hurry to make it to school on time, but Makoto couldn’t dismiss the concern that had been brewing all week. By Friday, he was certain that Haru was not only avoiding the subject, but he was avoiding the team altogether. He hadn’t even waited for Makoto after practice before going home.

“Haru?” he called, opening the bathroom door. The familiar sight greeted him, and he smiled despite his worry. Crossing the room, he leaned down to offer his hand, ignoring the casual annoyance written on Haru’s face. “You left the door unlocked.”

Haru stared at Makoto for a moment before reluctantly taking his hand and standing, water dripping down his body as he stepped out of the bathtub. He knew why Makoto was there, and even though he had no desire to talk about it, he didn’t have the heart to make him leave. His hand fell back to his side as he grabbed a towel, but he refused to even look at Makoto again as he dried off.

“We don’t have school today,” Haru said.

“I thought we could hang out today,” Makoto said.

The tension made it difficult to keep his smile in place, even more so when Haru pushed past him. He held his tongue as he followed. The routine was beyond familiar by now, and Makoto leaned in the doorway as Haru tied an apron around his waist.

“Are you hungry?” Haru asked, his back still to him.

“A little,” Makoto admitted. “Haru, I know it’s difficult, but maybe it’ll help if you talk about it with someone. I’m not saying that you have to talk to me, but you’ve been avoiding us since right after the funeral, and we’re worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” Haru said, but the edge in his voice betrayed him.

“Do you really think Rin would want us to stay upset?” Makoto pressed.

“How would you know what he wants?” Haru dropped the spatula and spun to face him, a rare trace of anger coloring his features. He’d felt this building all week, just waiting to claw its way free, but he couldn’t let it out, not yet. Returning his attention to the two pieces of mackerel in the skillet, he shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you, not with anyone.”

It wasn’t as if Rin had sworn him to secrecy, but it didn’t feel right discussing what he knew, not even with Makoto. He regretted his reaction a few seconds later, his shoulders dropping, and he heard Makoto’s footsteps growing closer. _Please just leave it alone,_ he thought. _You don’t want to know the truth._

“Haru, please.” The pleading tone crushed his resolve, but Haru tried to stay silent. “I miss him, too, but you can’t just shut everyone out. Maybe I don’t know what he would have wanted, but he was our friend, and I know that he’d be upset to see you putting yourself through this.”

“I saw him last weekend,” Haru said after a few minutes. He couldn’t look at Makoto, nor could he help feeling like he’d betrayed both of them.

“There are times when I think I see him too,” Makoto said as he placed a hand on Haru’s bare shoulder. “He’s there with us when we’re practicing, and he always will be.”

“No,” Haru said, shaking his head as he finally looked at him again. “I _saw_ him. I _talked_ to him. I told you that his coffin was empty. He’s still here, Makoto, at Samezuka.”

“What?” Makoto blinked a few times, trying to process the information. “So he really did fake his own death?”

“No.” He turned off the heat on the stove to keep the fish from burning. “You can’t tell the others, not yet. He died, but he’s back, and I don’t think he’s human anymore.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out on the streets, I'm stalking the night  
> I can hear my heavy breathing  
> Paid for the kill, but it doesn't seem right  
> Something there I can't believe in
> 
> "A Shot in the Dark" (The Ultimate Sin - 1986)

“Not human?” Makoto repeated. Saying it aloud sent another chill up his spine, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. Nagisa’s suggestion that Rin might be a zombie returned to his mind unbidden. “I really hope you’re joking.”

“I’m not.” Haru shook his head and set the mackerel on the plates. “After you guys went home, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to try to get some answers out of Sousuke.” Makoto arched a brow at the use of the Samezuka swimmer’s first name but didn’t interrupt. “Rin was there.”

There was something distinctly off about the way Haru carefully set the plates on the table while he spoke, his actions so out of place with his words. He was so casual about the discussion, as if the possibility of Rin being some kind of walking corpse was unworthy of concern. Makoto would have questioned it if he hadn’t known Haru better. This was a coping mechanism, and even if Makoto handled things differently, he had to let Haru process things in his own way.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, maybe you were dreaming and didn’t really go anywhere. Dreams can be pretty realistic sometimes.”

“I know what I saw.” The skillet fell into the sink with a loud clang, and Haru’s patience nearly snapped. “Sousuke was being a dick when I got there, and then Rin showed up. He looked like he’d just come from the showers, but he was _there._ ”

“Okay.” Makoto held his hands up in a defensive gesture to diffuse the situation. “So if he was there showering, how do you know he’s not human?”

“We argued,” Haru said, looking away. He hated the fear that returned with the memory of the confrontation, hated the way it made his pulse jump and his hands clench into fists. “You know how Rin could never keep a cool head. He started to lose his temper, and that’s when I realized what he was. He had fangs, Makoto, and his eyes…”

He trailed off, shaking his head but refusing to look at Makoto, who stood there in shock. Haru didn’t need to say it aloud for his friend to understand what he was saying; Makoto had heard enough to reach his own conclusion. It was impossible, though. At least, it should have been, and Makoto, who usually wouldn’t even sit through a horror movie, couldn’t quite come to terms with the reality that one of his closest friends had become something that belonged in one.

“I think he might have killed me if Sousuke hadn’t stepped in,” Haru continued, his voice almost too soft for Makoto to hear.

“Do you really think he would have?” Makoto asked. “You said yourself that he’s always had a temper, but he’s never really crossed that line, right?”

Haru only shrugged. As much as he wanted to share Makoto’s optimism, the memory of Rin’s snarl remained seared into his mind. Coupled with the revelation Sousuke had given him, Haru considered himself lucky to have walked out of there. Something about the conversation at the pool tipped the scales towards pessimism, though. If they were discussing how to prevent Rin from taking someone’s life, then there was a strong possibility that he’d already crossed that line at least once.

“I need you to make me a promise.” He faced Makoto again, only his eyes betraying the chaos of emotions raging within him. “Don’t go looking for him, and if you somehow run into him when you’re out alone, then get to somewhere public and call me.”

“Sure, Haru,” Makoto agreed hesitantly.

“I mean it, Makoto. Promise me.”

“Of course,” Makoto said. “I promise.”

* * *

 

Sousuke glanced up from his homework when he heard movement behind him. He only had one assignment for the weekend, but it seemed like a good idea to get it out of the way. Worry creased his brow when he saw the prominent shadows under Rin’s eyes. He said nothing at first, though, gauging Rin’s mood before risking drawing attention to himself.

“Breakfast is in the fridge,” he said when Rin looked at him. “I picked up another liter for you this afternoon.”

Rin was out of bed in an instant, nearly ripping the door from the mini-fridge in his haste. Within a few seconds, he’d emptied the container, and as ravenous as he felt, he barely even noticed the difference in taste. Tossing the plastic in the trash can, he dropped back down on the edge of his mattress and ran a hand through his hair. He felt like shit, but he doubted that staying in the dorm would make it better.

“We should go out tonight,” he said, ignoring Sousuke’s incredulous expression. “I’m going stir crazy in here. Besides, it’s Saturday. There’s got to be something we can do that’s more interesting than staring at the same four walls all night.”

“And if we run into someone who knows you?” Sousuke countered. “Then what?”

“I didn’t say we had to stay local,” Despite the grogginess, a grin found its way to Rin’s lips. “We can take the train until we’re far enough away. What about that town where you found the butcher? Is there anything good in that area?”

“It’s a pretty big town, so there has to be a club or something.” Sousuke shrugged and eyed him critically. “You sure you’re up to going anywhere?”

Rin simply snorted and rolled his eyes.

* * *

 

He dozed during the train ride, his head resting on Sousuke’s shoulder, and grumbled something unintelligible – but likely uncomplimentary – when they reached their stop.  The cool evening air was an improvement over the stifling confines of their dorm room, but Rin’s lethargy refused to leave him.

A few seconds after entering the nightclub, he realized his mistake. The music pounded in his ears, and too many people crowded the room. It wasn’t packed to maximum capacity, but Rin’s gaze flicked from one person to the next constantly, his insides twisting in protest until Sousuke slid an arm around his waist and leaned in close.

“We don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” he said.

“I’m fine,” Rin lied, shaking his head. “Just need some air. I’ll be back in five.”

Slipping out of Sousuke’s grasp, he wove his way among the other patrons and made it outside. Sousuke watched from his place beside the bar, his brow furrowed as he debated on following, but if Rin needed a few minutes away from everyone, then he’d respect that. The dread welling in the pit of his stomach when five minutes ticked towards ten had him rushing towards the exit, though.

There was no way to determine which way Rin had gone, and Sousuke didn’t trust himself to take off blindly in a town he’d only visited a couple of times. Getting lost while trying to locate Rin would only make matters worse. Indecision gnawed at him as he glanced up and down the sidewalk, but a breath of relief escaped him when he saw Rin come around the corner half a block away.

The sickening feeling inside of him tempered his relief, and as he started to meet him halfway, Sousuke slowed to a stop. Ten minutes ago, Rin looked like he’d been about to fall over, but the way he sauntered down the sidewalk, every step unnaturally graceful, made his skin prickle with apprehension. Sousuke stared at him as he neared – Rin was gorgeous and captivating and terrifying all at once – and he realized that he was completely screwed.

Rin’s hands rested in his pockets, a slight grin on his face, and the shadows that had hung under his eyes were gone. He arched a brow as he stopped, but his expression remained otherwise unchanged. Sousuke swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry, unable to look away from those eyes holding him in place.

He knew this side of Rin. This was the man who would do whatever it took to reach his goal, but he’d never been as dangerous as he was at that moment, because while he’d always been a stubbornly determined bastard, he’d still had morals and ethics. Sousuke realized with a chill that Rin’s sense of morality had died when he’d taken his last living breath. While it was glaringly obvious that his goal was Sousuke, Rin’s intentions eluded him.

Rin closed the remaining distance with the same casual strides, one hand reaching up to thread through dark hair. His grip tightened as he pulled Sousuke down into a fierce kiss, and the gasp of surprise he received presented the perfect opening. Sousuke tasted blood on his tongue, but the quiet assurances in his mind drowned out the part that screamed at him to run.

“I want to go dancing,” Rin murmured against his lips before taking his hand and leading him back towards the club.

The music inside the building coursed through him, and he pulled Sousuke out into the middle of the cluster of people with a smirk etched onto his features. That Sousuke didn’t protest came as both a surprise and a rush of encouragement. Letting the beat guide him, Rin took every opportunity to press them together, moving against him in time with the music in a manner that was borderline obscene.

The rapid increase of Sousuke’s pulse provided the confidence to push the boundaries just a little further, and Rin dipped down to a crouch, his fingers trailing down Sousuke’s chest and abdomen as he kept their gazes locked. Flashing a grin, he slowly came back up, his body sliding along the other’s before he laced his fingers together behind Sousuke’s neck.

This time, it was Sousuke who brought their lips crashing together, both hands on Rin’s hips as he rolled his own. As Rin allowed a choked noise to escape him at the friction, Sousuke leaned forward.

“I think I’ve had enough dancing for one night,” he said as soon as there was a break between songs, his voice low.

* * *

 

Fortunately, they had the train car to themselves on the way back to Samezuka – not that Rin would have cared if there were an audience. Sousuke knew in the back of his mind that this was a bad idea, that he’d be powerless if things got out of hand, but with Rin straddling his lap and trailing his lips and teeth down the side of his throat, he couldn’t bring himself to worry. It was reckless, but the danger sent a thrill through him that also sent his blood racing south.

Rin slid off of his lap when they reached their stop, dragging his hands down Sousuke’s thighs before pulling his hood up. His hands slipped back into his pockets as he led the way back to the dorms, and Sousuke was certain that he could hear his heart pounding as they neared their door. The second they were inside, he turned them around and held Rin against the wooden surface as he made short work of the sweatshirt. When he started on the button of Rin’s jeans, however, a hand closed on his wrist.

“Wait,” Rin said, his expression suddenly unsure. The drastic change from the demanding confidence at the nightclub threw Sousuke into confusion, and he withdrew his hand.

“Okay,” he said as he took a step back. It was impossible to hide his disappointment, but if Rin had second thoughts, then he’d respect that. “Look, if you don’t want to, then I get it. I just thought that with how you were acting at the club and on the train that this would be the next step.”

“No, I do,” Rin said quickly. “Fuck, you have no idea how much I want to do this, but…” He trailed off, unable to meet his gaze. “I’m just not sure you’ll want to.”

“I wasn’t exactly prying you off of my lap. I’m pretty sure that my hands were down the back of your pants at some point on the ride home.” Sousuke offered a slight grin, but Rin didn’t seem placated. “Rin, what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

Possibilities flooded his mind, and his smile vanished. The discomfort on Rin’s features confirmed that there was something going on that hadn’t been shared between them, but coaxing it out of a suddenly awkward and silent Rin took more patience than he thought he possessed. As a sigh hissed through his teeth, he reached out to gently turn Rin’s face towards him, and he searched his expression for an explanation.

“You can tell me anything,” he said with the gentleness reserved only for the one standing before him. “You know that, right? If it’s about what happened when you stepped out earlier, then I kinda guessed already. Can’t say that I’m happy about it, but-”

“It’s not that,” Rin interrupted. The air filling his lungs when he took a deep, steadying breath felt strange, but it managed to calm his nerves enough to continue. “A lot changed between the time I got hit by that car and the time I woke up. There are things about my body that work… differently now.” He was silently thankful that he lacked the ability to blush, but he couldn’t bring himself to say everything aloud. “Do you remember the other day when I was crying? Remember how I wasn’t crying actual tears?”

“Yeah, I remember,” he said before understanding sank in. “ _Oh_.” Swallowing hard, he tried to force his brain to work enough to process the new information. “So, _that’s_ probably going to be blood, too?” When Rin nodded and looked away again, he was quiet for a moment. “Look, we don’t know for sure, so maybe you’re worrying over nothing.” The look Rin shot him said otherwise. “Wait, are you saying you found out by experience? When?”

“I was frustrated when I woke up, okay?” Rin snapped, still refusing to look at him. “I know it’s weird, and you probably think it’s a definite deal breaker, so maybe we should just forget it.”

Embarrassment added to the sting of rejection, and Rin closed his eyes. Of course Sousuke wouldn’t want him now. He’d be an idiot to think otherwise. He wasn’t even technically alive; he was a monster, and he couldn’t pretend that anything intimate between them would be even close to normal. But then Sousuke’s voice pulled him back out from the edge of self-loathing and despair.

“Rin, look at me.”

“You don’t have to say it,” Rin said, failing to keep his voice steady. “I get it, so just don’t.”

Words apparently weren’t going to work, so Sousuke moved in again, his fingers unclasping the button of Rin’s jeans after only a few failed attempts. He felt Rin’s muscles tense, but when he didn’t pull away, Sousuke started to slide the denim down his hips, and he kissed a line down his jaw before whispering in his ear.

“I told you I wasn’t going to take this for granted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that's a terrible place to leave it, but otherwise this chapter would have gotten way too long. I'll try to make up for it in the next chapter. Once again, thank you for reading, and for the kudos and wonderful comments. I really appreciate every one.
> 
> Feel free to find me on Tumblr - ladylasa


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the same old desire  
> Nothing has changed, nothing's the same  
> Burning like fire  
> Don't you ever take my name in vain
> 
> "Desire" (No More Tears - 1991)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have guessed by the way the last chapter ended, things heat up between Rin and Sousuke in this one. Because of that, I've upped the rating to Explicit. I'd initially intended to have the scene a bit shorter than it turned out, but it kind of got away from me. So, this chapter is basically just the two of them relieving the building sexual tension between them. We'll return to our regularly scheduled plot in Chapter Nine.

Warm breath ghosted across his skin as Rin closed his eyes, the back of his head hitting the door. The words sent a shudder through him, and his fingers curled in the material of Sousuke’s shirt for a moment before they slowly traveled down to his hips. He could barely form a coherent thought, let alone wrap his mind around the fact that Sousuke still wanted him after knowing what he was getting into.

“What happened to the confidence I saw at the club?” Sousuke whispered, his lips trailing down towards Rin’s shoulder. “I was starting to think that you were going to drag me off and make a move right then and there.”

Rin didn’t miss the challenge in his voice, and it fueled the spark that Sousuke knew could flare at any moment. With a low growl, Rin kicked aside his jeans and one hand tangled in dark hair as he pushed forward, pulling Sousuke down to crash their lips together. It rivaled the kiss he’d stolen earlier in the evening, full of hunger and need, and he broke contact only long enough to pull Sousuke’s shirt over his head.

His fingertips traced lines of muscle down Sousuke’s chest and stomach, memorizing each one by touch alone. Letting his lips follow the path of his hands, he teased the skin along the way, finally resting on his knees as he pulled open the button of Sousuke’s jeans with his teeth, both hands settling on his hips again. Rin wasted no time in sliding the jeans down, taking the boxers with them, and he leaned in to run his tongue up the inside of Sousuke’s thigh.

Sousuke barely managed to breath out Rin’s name, could hardly breathe at all, but in the back of his mind, there was a flash of warning. That tiny voice reminded him just how reckless this was, that he could lose his very life if something inside Rin snapped, but rather than provide even an ounce of apprehension, the risk brought a thrill coursing through him. His heart racing, he stared down at Rin, meeting his gaze as his fingers threaded through red hair, and another voice echoed in his mind.

_Trust me_.

He did, despite the rational part of him that knew he shouldn’t. Any chance of allowing logic into his thought process was gone the moment Rin had walked out of the shrine, but this was a different level of trust. He knew what Rin had done to keep himself going over the past two weeks, that someday the same might happen to him, but at the moment, he didn’t care. Rin was here, staring up at him silently as his fingers drew circles on Sousuke’s hips, and all it took was a small nod to send Rin into motion again.

Rin never broke eye contact as his tongue flicked out again, slowly moving up the underside of Sousuke’s cock before tracing around the tip. A whispered expletive above him encouraged a bit more boldness, and his lips closed around him as his tongue continued to explore. Maddeningly slow, he brought his lips down Sousuke’s length, taking in each inch until he felt the head of his cock hit the back of his throat. Trembling fingers tightened in his hair, prompting a quiet moan, and he pulled back at the same, gradual pace until just the tip remained in his mouth.

With each movement and each brush of Rin’s tongue, Sousuke fell apart a little more. It was a struggle to keep his hips still as Rin picked up the pace, especially when, after a few minutes, Rin’s fingers wrapped around him to follow his lips, giving constant stimulation. He knew he wasn’t going to last long at this rate, but Rin seemed to have no intentions of slowing down again. His eyes spoke volumes, and the way he looked with Sousuke’s cock in his mouth was almost too much.

_Come for me._

Again, the quiet words echoed in his mind, and Sousuke could only comply. The pressure was building to the point of being unbearable, his breath coming in harsh gasps, but then the sweet release of orgasm washed over him as Rin’s name escaped his lips.

Rin carefully pulled back, mindful of how sensitive Sousuke was, and leaned over to grab the container from earlier out of the trash can. It occurred to Sousuke that there probably wasn’t anything personal in the way Rin wouldn’t swallow, but that it was entirely possible that he simply couldn’t ingest it at all anymore. He followed his movements with his gaze, his pulse still racing.

“Holy shit, Rin,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. “I had no idea that you knew how to do that.”

“Play your cards right and maybe you’ll get a repeat performance.”

That confidence bordering on arrogance was familiar and comforting in its own way, so very _Rin_ , and Sousuke couldn’t resist a small smile. He sure as hell wouldn’t turn down another offer in the future, but he had a feeling that they were far from finished for the night, a prediction that became even more plausible when Rin pulled the mattress from the bottom bunk down onto the floor. With what seemed like no effort, Rin moved the desk further down the wall and then pulled the other mattress down from the top bunk, setting it next to the first one.

Sousuke needed no encouragement to join him on the makeshift bed, and he offered no resistance when Rin pulled him in for another kiss. He let his hands explore Rin’s body, finding the places that caused a shuddering sigh here and there, before savoring the way Rin moaned against his lips when Sousuke’s hand wrapped around him.

“Pocket of my jacket,” Rin whispered.

Apparently, his break from the nightclub earlier had given him an opportunity for more than just a quick meal, and Sousuke returned to his side with the small bottle, picking up right where he’d left off. He didn’t need to ask how Rin wanted to do this – it was already obvious in the way one leg had hooked over Sousuke’s hip – and he coated his fingers before easing one inside.

Rin tensed at the intrusion, his eyes squeezing shut, and Sousuke paused, waiting for him to relax. When a few moments passed with no change, he nipped at the bottom of Rin’s ear.

“You were frustrated when you woke up earlier, right?” he murmured. “Why don’t you show me how you dealt with that?”

He received a quick nod in response, withdrawing enough for Rin to roll onto his back. The sight of Rin stroking himself slowly was enough for him to start getting hard again, and he brought his hand beneath Rin again to press inside once more. This time, it only took a few seconds for Rin to relax, and Sousuke whispered encouragement as he added another one.

“Did you think about me when you were doing this earlier?” Sousuke asked, his voice low as he searched for the spot that would make Rin melt. “Were you imagining my hand on your cock instead of your own?”

Instead of a response, Rin’s eyes snapped open, widening as his back arched, and Sousuke grinned as he hooked his fingers inside of him to evoke the same reaction. When he added a third finger, Rin almost looked like he would come without any further teasing, but his hand moved from his cock to rest on Sousuke’s shoulder.

Rin gave no warning before moving, and Sousuke barely registered his actions before he realized that Rin was straddling his hips. Grabbing the bottle, Rin poured some in his palm and coated Sousuke’s cock, stroking him to full hardness before lifting up to position himself. He was trembling when he started to lower himself, palms flat on Sousuke’s chest, and his head fell back as a moan spilled from his lips. The burn of Sousuke’s cock stretching him even more was painful but perfect at the same time, and he paused for a moment once he’d taken him in completely.

“You okay?” Sousuke asked quietly, his hands resting on Rin’s hips.

“Yeah.” Rin barely managed to speak, but he gave a slow rock of his hips as he started to adjust. “Just stay still for a few minutes.”

Another moan slipped out when he moved again, each shift of his weight sending a rush of pleasure through him, and he leaned back to place his hands on Sousuke’s thighs. The minor change in position put them at just the right angle for Rin’s vision to go white, and he let out a harsh cry. Staring down at Sousuke, he gave a barely perceptible nod as he movements grew quicker and harder, and he felt the grip on his hips tighten when Sousuke thrust upward to meet his next descent.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Rin’s voice broke, but his pace didn’t falter. Although he didn’t need to breathe, he couldn’t help the harsh gasps that escaped each time Sousuke’s cock hit that perfect spot inside of him. “Sousuke… come on… _harder._ ”

Sousuke complied, his hips jerking upwards, but there was only so much force he could put behind it from their current position. Wrapping his arms around Rin, he pulled him down against his chest, rolling them over. Rin let out a whine when Sousuke slipped out of him, but he wasn’t left waiting long.

His legs wrapped around Sousuke’s waist as each powerful thrust pulled more moans and cries from his throat, his fingernails digging into Sousuke’s back. The other didn’t seem to mind, his pace never wavering as he fucked him into the mattress. Their lips found each other again, and the heated kiss did nothing to quiet the sounds spilling from Rin. He trailed a line of kisses down Sousuke’s jaw to his throat, his tongue tracing the line of his pulse, and his nails dug into skin even more when Sousuke’s hand slipped between them to close around his cock.

Rin could feel himself nearing the edge, the sensations coursing through him bringing him closer with every passing second, but hunger burned inside of him alongside the pleasure. Sousuke’s rhythm became erratic, although the strength behind it stayed the same, and Rin didn’t even think before the words left his mouth.

“Sousuke…” he breathed, nipping at the tender skin at the side of his throat. “Can I…?”

It was stupid to even consider it, but both of them were far beyond the ability to think rationally. Sousuke’s head tipped back in silent acquiescence, and Rin gave another flick of his tongue before his fangs pierced flesh. Hot liquid filled his mouth, warmth spreading through him, and it took only another moment before he was caught in the tide that washed over him.

The brief, sharp pain brought Sousuke closer, but the sensation of Rin tightening around him was enough to break his control. Everything he had went into one final, rough thrust, and the ecstasy of release spilled out of him. There was a sense of lightheadedness, although he couldn’t tell if it was because of exhaustion or blood loss. His weight pressed down on Rin, his hand smoothing back red hair as he closed his eyes, and he let out a soft sigh of contentment.

“Sousuke?” Rin’s voice was barely a whisper, but the concern was evident in his tone. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

They remained like that for another handful of moments before Sousuke withdrew, settling beside him again. Glancing down, he noted the streaks of crimson spreading on both of them, and he had the thought that it should bother him at least a little. It didn’t, which _did_ bother him. A trickle of wetness sliding down his neck was more important at the moment, though, and he watched Rin’s eyes widen.

“Shit,” Rin muttered, panic overshadowing the recent memory of bliss. “I’m sorry, _shit_ , I didn’t mean to.”

“Rin, I’m fine.” Sure, he was exhausted, but he didn’t think he was in immediate danger of passing out or anything. Still, the way Rin grabbed for something to press against the wounds to stem the blood flow was comforting. At least Rin still had enough of himself left to care. “I’m just a little tired, but I’ll live. Calm down.”

“But, I hurt you,” Rin said, lowering his gaze. “Again.”

“You asked this time,” Sousuke said, tucking a strand of hair behind Rin’s ear. “And I gave you permission.”

Rin nodded slowly, but seemed unconvinced. He didn’t want to argue, though, not after what they’d just shared. With another whispered apology, he curled up beside Sousuke, his head resting on his chest as he listened to the rhythm of his breathing. They were a mess, but despite the lingering guilt, Rin didn’t want the moment to end, and as he closed his eyes, he decided that a shower could wait just a little bit longer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your momma told you that  
> You're not supposed to talk to strangers  
> Look in the mirror, tell me  
> Do you think your life's in danger here?
> 
> "No More Tears" (1991)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually don't have a chapter finished until the weekend, but I've had some time to write during my lunch breaks at work, and this one just wouldn't leave me alone. Apologies in advance if there are any errors that I missed. Enjoy!

“It’s kinda early for you to be going out, isn’t it?” Sousuke asked.

They hadn’t bothered moving the desk or the mattresses back to their proper places after Rin had rearranged them two nights ago, and Sousuke was lounging on the floor as he watched Rin pull on his jacket. It was barely past nine in the evening, long enough for the sun to have set, but Rin usually waited until the early hours of the morning to go anywhere during the week.

“I haven’t heard from Haru since last weekend,” Rin said, tucking his hair under a baseball cap. “And he never answers his damn phone. If the guys were over there tonight, then they’ve probably left by now, but he should still be awake by the time I get there.”

“You sure it’s a good idea going to Iwatobi?” Sousuke arched a brow, his lips turning downward. “What if someone you know sees you?”

“I’ll be careful.” He flashed a reassuring grin and crossed the room, leaning down to leave a soft, lingering kiss on Sousuke’s lips. “I should be back before midnight, but don’t wait up.”

* * *

 

He kept his head down on the train ride, listening to the people around him. Thankfully, his presence had gone unnoticed; he was just another passenger, nothing more. When he stepped off at Iwatobi station, he glanced around slowly. Visiting Haru was on his agenda, but there was another place he had to see first, one he hadn’t seen since before the accident.

With his hands in his pockets, Rin followed the path up the hill, nearly turning back more than once. Each time he hesitated, he chided himself into motion, and his trek ended at the large stone marked with his family’s name. Seeing his own name etched into the marble was sobering, and he traced the characters with his fingers before taking a step back. According to the monument, his ashes were resting here with his father’s, undisturbed. Understanding that that may never happen was enough to evoke the familiar sting of tears.

“I don’t know what to do, Dad,” Rin whispered. “I don’t know why this happened to me, and I think I’m starting to lose part of myself. I just wanted to swim, to be the best, and to achieve the Olympic dream that we both wanted, but that’s gone now. I still have Sousuke, but he’s graduating soon, and I can’t hide out in the Samezuka dorms forever.

“I’m scared. I never thought I’d actually hurt anyone, but people are dead now because of me. Sometimes I can’t stand it, but I know that it’s going to happen again. That’s not what scares me the most, though. It’s starting to bother me less each time, and I don’t know what that says about me. Was there always a part of me that was capable of murder?”

The stone was a silent as the night around him. There were no answers for him here, but it helped just a little to voice his thoughts aloud. Wiping his face, he placed his hand on the monument again, whispering a quiet thanks just in case his father’s spirit was somehow listening. As he turned to leave, though, he froze, his fingertips inches away from the marble, and his eyes widened.

He stared at the barrel of the pistol aimed in his direction, wondering how someone had managed to get so close without his notice. It should have been impossible; he would have heard them coming. His gaze strayed past the weapon to the man behind it, meeting dark green eyes and an impassive expression. The stranger wasn’t Japanese – possibly from Europe or America – but that detail was trivial considering the circumstances.

“We both know that this won’t kill you,” the stranger said evenly. Rin couldn’t place his accent. “But it will put you down long enough for me to finish the job. So I would suggest that you listen carefully and follow my instructions exactly. Do you understand?”

Rin nodded slowly, tempted to try his luck at disarming the man despite the warning. There was something that held him in place, though, a piece of the puzzle that he knew he was overlooking. Of course, he hadn’t expected to wind up standing on the wrong end of a gun, but as he was trying to figure out how he’d ended up in this position, the missing detail regarding the white-haired gunman clicked into place.

The man before him had no heartbeat.

_Oh, fuck._

“What do you want?” Rin asked.

It seemed like a more relevant question at the moment. Although Rin was curious about the man’s identity, figuring out what he had to do in order to walk away in one piece was the priority.  Slowly, he let his arm return to his side, and he quickly weighed the pros and cons of fighting his way out of this.

One look at the stranger should have been enough to deter him – the man’s aim was steady, and his eyes were cold. Whoever the hell he was, Rin could tell that he was a seasoned killer, and he doubted that there would be even a shred of remorse if he pulled the trigger. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been afraid for his own life, especially after he’d already died once, but fear held in its grasp even as his mind ran wild with all of the possible ways this could go horribly wrong for him.

“We need to talk,” the man said. “Keep your hands visible, and come with me.”

“Are you going to kill me anyway?” The question was out before Rin could stop it, but he needed to know before he could even consider complying. “Let’s say I follow you and have this little chat. How do I know that you won’t take me out anyway after we’re done?”

“You don’t.” The barest trace of a grin followed the response. “But consider this – if you refuse, then I _will_ end you right here. I don’t like loose ends, either, which means I’ll have to dispose of the few people who know you’re still around. Keep that in mind before you make the wrong decision, Matsuoka.”

Rin’s blood turned to ice as the words sank in. He wanted to shake his head in denial because there was no way that anyone could speak so casually about murder, but he couldn’t even manage that. It would be one thing if he were to fight for his own life, but even if he managed to get away, both Sousuke and Haru would be in danger.

His gaze flicked between the gun, the man behind it, and the hand that was reaching into the pocket of a leather jacket. Those green eyes remained locked on him, never blinking as the stranger withdrew a cell phone. Only a few meters separated them, and Rin could see the photo on the screen clearly, along with the caption “ _Found it”_ and the timestamp. The ground was spinning, his vision losing focus as he stared at the image of the room – _his_ room – that had just been taken, and his legs failed to support him.

Falling to his knees, Rin finally looked away, his attention on the tears leaving droplets of blood on the dirt. He had no choice now. Still, a sliver of defiance remained, and he glanced up at the stranger. The gun and phone were no longer in sight, and Rin made a split second decision. He’d only need a few seconds to make a call and warn Sousuke, and hopefully, he could make it to Haru’s house before anything else happened.

As soon as he got back to his feet, Rin bolted, racing into the woods beside him. _Just give me these few minutes, please_ , he pleaded silently as he pulled out his phone. He barely glanced at it as he dialed the number from memory, and the trees passed by at a blur as he ran. _Come on, pick up!_ So far, he didn’t hear any sounds of pursuit, but he didn’t dare think that he was in the clear.

“Sousuke, listen to me!” he began frantically once the call connected. “You have to get out of there. I’ll catch up with you later, but you have to leave-”

His warning cut off when he found himself airborne, the phone slipping from his grasp as he landed hard on the ground. Something snapped in his right arm, and he let out a sharp cry as he tried to recover, looking back to see the thin wire strung low to the ground between the trees. Cradling his arm, he scrambled back up, but he stopped short when a knife embedded itself in the tree only a few centimeters from his head.

“That was your last warning, Matsuoka.”

It was all over. _Sousuke and Haru are going to die because of me_. Rin’s shoulders slumped in defeat as he turned around, trying to prepare himself for the final blow. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander back over the pleasant memories he had, the countless times he’d been able to swim with his friends, the relay that brought them all back together, the night with Sousuke that he’d never get to experience again.

The minutes ticked by, and no strike came. Slowly, he opened his eyes, expecting to see the gun or some other weapon aimed at him, but the stranger simply watched him from a few paces away, arms folded over his chest. Rin picked up on his impatience, but he didn’t allow himself to hope that his life would be spared.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Rin said, ignoring the tears that escaped his eyes again. “Just… Don’t hurt them. _Please_. Whoever’s there with Sousuke, call them off and I’ll do anything you ask.”

He never thought of himself as one to beg, but if it would appeal to whatever compassion this man might possess, then Rin could swallow his pride. It was likely that he was done for, but maybe he could at least make a case for sparing the lives of his friends.

“We’re past the point of negotiations. Keep your mouth shut and follow me.”

* * *

 

The shower helped ease the soreness in his muscles, and Sousuke made his way back to his room as he absently dried his hair. It was difficult not to worry about Rin going to Iwatobi for the evening; there were so many things that could go wrong. He wanted to trust that Rin had enough sense to keep his head down and avoid unwanted attention, but he also knew Rin better than most, and Rin had a tendency to act before thinking about consequences.

That train of thought followed him until the sound of his cell phone interrupted it. Recognizing the ring tone, he found himself torn between exhilaration and foreboding. _There’s no way he could have gotten himself into trouble this early. He’s only been gone an hour._ He let it ring for another moment before answering. That moment of hesitation apparently hadn’t helped Rin’s mood.

“Rin, slow down,” he said. “I can’t understand you.” Sousuke’s steps slowed when he neared the door, his free hand turning the doorknob. “Leave? What’s going on?”

Dread won out over excitement, but he received no more answers. Instead, he heard a yelp that sounded like an expression of pain before silence. Staring down at his phone, he felt his pulse quicken, and as he moved into the room, the door snapped shut behind him.

“Rin’s a little busy at the moment, but I’m sure he’ll call you back if he makes it through the night.”

Sousuke spun around at the sound of the voice, eyes narrowing at the man leaning against the wall beside the door. He didn’t recognize him, and something in the back of his mind screamed a warning as Sousuke sized him up. They were similar in height – Sousuke had a centimeter or two on him – but the other was lean, whereas Sousuke was all muscle. _I can take him_ , he thought. Even with his damaged shoulder, he was sure that he had an advantage, and one hand clenched into a fist as he waited to see who would make the first move.

“Who are you and where the hell is Rin?” he demanded.

“Rin had an appointment.” The man brushed a strand of strawberry blond hair away from his face, the color just dark enough to make him seem pale. Grey eyes held a hint of amusement, and his shoulders rolled in a shrug. “So, while he’s tied up, you get to entertain me.”

Sousuke glared at him, taking a single step forward when something caught his eye. Glancing to his left, he spotted the mirror on the outside of the closet door, which gave a full view of the main entryway. Whoever this guy was, he had no reflection.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody ever told me  
> I found out for myself  
> You gotta believe in foolish miracles  
> It's not how you play the game  
> It's if you win or lose  
> You can choose, don't confuse, win or lose
> 
> "I Don't Know" (Blizzard of Ozz - 1980)

Sousuke retreated a few steps, nearly tripping on the mattresses on the floor as he tried to put as much distance between them as possible. It made sense that Rin wasn’t the only vampire in the world, but that didn’t explain why one of them was here instead of resolving whatever issues were surrounding Rin. Then, Sousuke started to piece together what he already knew. Someone else was out there with Rin, probably communicating with the one in his room, and Sousuke realized that he was being used as some form of leverage, an incentive for Rin to behave.

“Relax,” the stranger said, flashing a grin that was nowhere near comforting. “I’m not planning on eating you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

That should have been at the top of his list of concerns, but the thought that Rin was out there facing another monster – and likely hurt, judging by how their phone call had ended – made his own sense of self-preservation less of a priority. Even if he made it to the door, he doubted he would get very far. He was still alive, at least; if this unwanted guest wanted to change that, then there would be little that he could do to resist.

“Then what _are_ you planning on doing?” Sousuke asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he said with a shrug. “You might as well get comfortable. We’re going to be here a while. I hope you didn’t have any plans for tonight.”

“So, what? You’re just going to babysit me so Rin behaves for your friend?” Sousuke carefully stepped back, avoiding the mattresses this time, and dropped down into the chair at the desk. “Sounds pretty boring to me.”

“I get paid either way,” he said. “But who knows? Maybe that temper of his will get him in trouble, and I’ll get to have some fun after all.”

“You and I have completely different definitions of the word ‘fun’.” Sousuke shook his head with a sigh. “Are you at least going to tell me who you are?”

The grin was back, and Sousuke had the feeling that there might be something more behind it, a private joke that he couldn’t quite grasp. He channeled his fear into anger, his eyes narrowing as he waited for an answer. Even a short “fuck off” would have been preferable to the silence.

“I guess I can give you that much,” the man said finally. “They call me Shark.”

* * *

 

Rin wanted to pay attention to where they were going, but he couldn’t get the possibilities of what might be happening to Sousuke out of his head. They’d ventured off the main path a while ago, the sounds of the ocean the only thing breaking the silence between them. He could tell that they were heading away from Iwatobi, and the further they moved from the town, the more his unease grew.

“Are you some kind of vigilante vampire hunter or something?” he asked when the quiet became too much for him.

“Vigilantes don’t get paid,” the stranger said. “And I don’t work for free.”

_A hired gun, then,_ Rin thought. _Great._

If anything, that made matters worse. He’d already learned that appealing to his captor’s sense of compassion was futile, but if someone else was financing this whole thing, Rin found it unlikely that he could match their price. He couldn’t remember ever being this screwed.

Their trek ended at a small, secluded cabin overlooking the sea, and Rin followed inside, taking a quick look at his surroundings. There was one main room with a small sofa and table, a kitchen off to his left, and a closed door to his right. He offered no argument when the man gestured to the table, and he quickly took a seat while his gaze followed his every movement.

“Can I at least ask who you are?” Rin’s voice was unusually subdued, tempered by the chance that one wrong word would mean the end.

“Aside from the one who’s been cleaning up your mess for the past week and a half?” A white eyebrow arched as he paused halfway to the kitchen. “Silver.”

Rin’s eyes widened at that. He hadn’t really been following the news, and Sousuke hadn’t mentioned any rumors about a possible serial killer in this part of Japan. If Silver had been taking care of the evidence, then Rin owed him. The thought of being in his debt was unpleasant, especially considering what little he knew about the man. He didn’t think Silver was the type to let something like that slide.

When Silver returned from the kitchen with a pair of dark glass bottles and set one on the table, Rin made no move to take it. Instead, he waited for him to take a seat on the other side of the table and open the second bottle. Rin recognized the scent of blood immediately, reminding him that he hadn’t consumed anything since the night before, but he remained as still as possible.

“It’s O Negative,” Silver said. “I want you to have a clear head while we’re speaking, and it will help your wrist to heal quicker.”

“Why are you offering me this if you’re just going to kill me anyway?” Rin dared to ask.

“Whether or not you die tonight depends on our conversation,” he said. There was a calm air about him, his demeanor completely businesslike. “My first objective was to figure out who was causing so much trouble around here. Now, I have to make an assessment. If you can convince me that you can keep yourself under the radar and clean up after yourself, then it’s possible that I’ll let you go. You can start by not asking stupid questions and doing what you’re told.”

Rin failed to suppress a growl. If anyone else had spoken to him in such a manner, he would have been across the table in a heartbeat, but he couldn’t do that here, not when Sousuke’s life was also on the line. Fear flashed in his mind again, and he shrank back in his chair when Silver reached towards him. To his surprise, Silver grabbed the bottle and opened it, setting it back down in front of him. Rin saw no anger in his expression – if anything, amusement shone in those green eyes before his features became impassive.

He waited for his host to settle back in his chair before taking the bottle with his uninjured hand. It was chilled, but it tasted far better than the stuff Sousuke had picked up from the butcher, and before he even realized it, Rin had drained more than half the bottle. Silver had been honest about this, at least. Rin could feel the bones in his arm knitting themselves back together, the pain receding as the minutes ticked by.

“We’ll start with the basics,” Silver said. “Who turned you?”

Rin had no idea how to respond. Admitting that he didn’t know who had done this to him would be unacceptable, and he dreaded the consequences of providing an unsatisfactory answer. Any attempt to bullshit his way to freedom would likely make matters worse. Honesty was really his only option.

“I woke up like this two days after some idiot hit me with a car,” he said. “No one else was around except Sousuke, and he was piss drunk outside. I wish I knew who was behind this, but I don’t. I’m trying to figure this out as best as I can.”

“And you think that using small towns as your hunting ground and leaving behind obvious signs of your involvement is the way to do it?” There was an edge to Silver’s voice, and Rin winced as he looked away. “Either you’re incredibly arrogant, or you lack the foresight to realize that people might start to wonder why bodies keep turning up with their throats ripped open. I hope, for your sake, that it’s the latter.”

“Then maybe you should be helping me instead of threatening me every five seconds,” Rin snapped. He’d just about reached his limit, and if all Silver wanted to do was insult his intelligence and scare the shit out of him, then he was almost ready to just take his chances with trying to walk out. “There’s no instruction manual for waking up dead. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but it’s not like I have anyone around to teach me either.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized that he should probably regret the outburst. Silver’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but it was enough for him to understand that he was traveling into even more dangerous territory. He couldn’t bring himself to back down again, though.

“Teaching you isn’t my job,” Silver said evenly. “The one who turned you is responsible for helping you through the transition.”

“I’ll make sure to tell him that if I ever find out who the hell he is.” Rin matched his tone, and he finished off the bottle in front of him in an attempt to rein in his temper. “Didn’t you have someone to help you at first?”

“Yes,” he said. “And he threw me in a cell with a human until I lost control.”

Rin sighed and leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. The pain in his wrist had faded almost completely, but the movement caused a small ache. He was getting nowhere, and his plea for assistance was apparently falling on deaf ears. Maybe asking Silver to teach him hadn’t been the best idea; he was almost surprised that the other hadn’t laughed in his face. The response wasn’t much better, though.

“Very well,” Silver said after a few minutes.

“What?” Rin blinked once before a grin spread on his features. “Seriously?”

“Since you can’t seem to figure it out on your own, I suppose I’ll have to show you how to exist without drawing attention.”

* * *

 

“We can smell fear, you know,” Shark said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “It’s like that syrupy shit they put in fountain sodas, except that it’s really tempting.”

He hadn’t moved from his position beside the door, arms casually folded over his chest, but the remark was enough for Sousuke’s pulse to quicken. The quiet laugh from across the room sparked another wave of annoyance, his jaw clenching as he watched the vampire closely. It was just another attempt to unnerve him – it _had_ to be – and Sousuke hated that it was working.

“Seems like your boyfriend decided to behave,” Shark continued as he glanced at his phone. “I would have heard something by now otherwise.” Slipping the phone into his pocket, his attention returned to Sousuke. “How long do you think this is going to work between you two?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking business,” Sousuke said. “I liked you better when you weren’t talking.”

“Humor me,” he said. “Besides, it’s not like we have anything better to do to pass the time, right?”

Sousuke simply glared at him. Engaging in small talk with someone who might kill him before the night was over wasn’t appealing in the slightest, but sitting there in silence wasn’t much better. Shark wasn’t giving him a choice in the matter, though.

“You know how it’s going to end for you two, don’t you?” he continued. “You’re going to keep aging while he stays the same, and one of you is going to realize that you can’t handle it. At that point, you’ll split, or he’ll kill you. My money’s on Option B, which means it’ll turn into a question of whether or not you stay dead.”

“Rin wouldn’t do that,” Sousuke said, despite his resolve to ignore him.

“Are you sure about that? It looks like you’ve got something on your neck there.” The smirk that accompanied the observation was infuriating, and Sousuke looked away. “I’m just calling it like I see it. Fifty bucks says that you might make it two more years before shit hits the fan.”

“What makes you think that you know a damn thing about us?”

“Because I was that kid once,” Shark said. His expression hadn’t changed, but his tone grew serious. “I fell for a vampire and thought we could make it work. Then, it reached the point where I could either walk away or let him kill me. Can you guess which option I chose?”

Sousuke looked up at him again, surprise clearly written on his features. He didn’t want to believe that it would come to that with Rin, but there was a good case for it standing only a few meters away from him. _Rin wouldn’t do that_ , he told himself. _There’s no way he’d even ask something like that_. He could only half-believe his own thoughts, and he couldn’t help but wonder what his own answer would be if Rin ever mentioned it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've got to tell me it's over now  
> I'm trapped inside of a dream  
> The crushing weight on my shoulders now  
> Is bearing down and it seems  
> There's just no easy way out
> 
> \- "No Easy Way Out" (Down to Earth - 2001)

Rin was torn between relief and apprehension. Silver seemed to believe him, and had even agreed to teach him about his condition, but there had to be a catch.  _I don’t work for free_ , repeated itself in his mind, a cautionary reminder that whatever assistance Silver provided would come at a price. At the moment, the man was preoccupied with the conversation he was conducting on his cell phone, and Rin pulled himself out of his thoughts to listen.

“I’m not sure,” Silver said, speaking in fluent English, although Rin couldn’t place his accent. “His story confirms the information we have, but that doesn’t bring us any closer to finding the one responsible.”

“Have you ever heard of anything like this before?” The voice on the other end of the line spoke in English as well, and Rin was pretty sure that this one sounded Irish.

“No,” Silver said. “None of our contacts have, either. Considering the timeline of events, it’s not exactly impossible, but it’s incredibly improbable.”

“We need to get answers from anyone who might have been involved. And I mean from the second that car went off the road to the moment he woke up two nights later.”

“Agreed,” Silver replied.  “I’ll make some calls once we’ve finished here.”

There was a beat of silence before Rin heard the second voice again.

“Are you saying that he’s still there?”

“We have a few more things to discuss,” Silver said.

“And we’ve been speaking in English this whole time.” The faceless stranger didn’t sound amused, even less so when Silver didn’t respond. “I know you read the same file that I did. He went to school in Australia for a while. What language do they speak in Australia?”

“German.” Silver’s response was certain and laced with annoyance, but there was another moment of silence on the other end of the line.

“Fucking _hell_ , Silver.” Exasperation was clear in his tone. “That’s _Austria_. They speak English in Australia.” Another muttered curse punctuated the statement, and Rin felt the weight of Silver’s gaze on him. “I know that Matsuoka can hear me, so he has my permission to laugh at you. Oh, and Yamazaki says ‘hi’.  At least, that’s how I’m interpreting his glare.”

Silver’s own glare was enough to convince Rin that laughing would probably be a bad idea, despite the permission that he’d received from the other one. The pair continued their conversation in yet another language, one that Rin didn’t recognize but seemed to fit Silver better than English or Japanese.

It didn’t sound pleasant, and as both of them seemed to grow more agitated, Rin silently hoped that the stranger wouldn’t take out his annoyance on Sousuke. The tone changed without warning when a remark that almost sounded teasing stopped Silver in mid-sentence. A grin spread on his features as he seemed to respond in kind, and their banter started to take off in a completely different direction. While Rin couldn’t understand the words, he had a guess as to the direction in which the discussion was heading.

 _Are these two assholes actually_ flirting _with each other in the middle of all this?_

Judging by the way Silver laughed and ended the call with one last comment, it certainly seemed that way. Rin cast a glance at the lone closed door, deciding that it had to be the only bedroom in the cabin. If the two mercenaries were traveling to Japan together, then it stood to reason that they shared a temporary residence. A quick look at the sofa revealed no evidence of someone using it as a bed, which served to convince Rin even more that the pair was more than just coworkers.

Then again, he wasn’t really sure why he was surprised. Sending a pair of killers to work together would require them to get along without tearing each other apart. It also made sense why they’d picked Sousuke as a hostage instead of Haru. As he worked through his understanding of the situation, Rin failed to notice that Silver was speaking, but his attention quickly returned to the present when the cap of Silver’s glass bottle struck the center of his forehead.

“If you’d rather spend the rest of the night staring into space, then Yamazaki will have to keep Shark entertained until you decide that you’re finished wasting my time.” Rin almost flinched at the words, but kept quiet as Silver continued. “You need to stay clear of the small towns, especially when you hunt. There are only a few of our kind in Japan, and they’ve gone undetected by staying in the more densely populated areas where the occasional disappearance isn’t unusual.”

Refusal danced on Rin’s lips, but he simply shook his head instead of voicing it aloud. He couldn’t just pack up and leave town. Without any regular income or a clear destination, his options were practically nonexistent, and his meager savings would only last so long. Samezuka wasn’t a permanent home, but at least he could hide out there until Sousuke graduated. Maybe between now and then, they could come up with a solid plan.

“Where am I supposed to go?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice calm.

“Preferably out of the country,” Silver said. “Any decent-sized city would do, but your safest bet would be to leave Japan altogether.”

“And what about Sousuke?” Rin’s fragile grip on his emotions was slipping, his voice full of frantic desperation. “Am I just supposed to leave him here and run away?”

“That would be best.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

His chair scraped across the wooden floor as he stood, and he ignored the warning in Silver’s eyes. Rin wasn’t going to listen to any more of his suggestions. Leaving town would be bad enough, but leaving Sousuke behind, especially now that they’d been given a second chance, was unthinkable.

With another shake of his head, he turned and hurried to the door, not even considering that Silver might stop him. The moment he pulled open the door, he realized that pursuit was unnecessary, and his eyes widened as he stared at the creature staring at him. Rin retreated a few steps when the white tiger stalked forward, its size larger than he would have thought a great cat could grow.

Surprisingly, once he was several paces from the open door, the tiger moved past him to claim the sofa as its own, leaving Rin to stare at it for a moment before looking at Silver again. The man seemed unconcerned with the presence of the animal, and his gaze remained locked on Rin.

“I certainly hope you’re finished with your tantrum,” he said evenly. “Now sit down so we might have a chance of concluding this business sometime before sunrise.”

* * *

 

English wasn’t Sousuke’s best subject, and he only caught bits and pieces of the conversation taking place on the other side of the room. His presence seemed forgotten for the time being, and so he focused instead on trying to work out an escape plan. From what he’d seen of Rin’s changes, he knew that running wasn’t an option. Shark was probably stronger than him as well, which meant that fighting his way out of this wouldn’t work either.

The mention of Australia caught his attention, though, and he tried to translate the words as he heard them. When the language switched, however, he was lost once more. Shark’s change in demeanor told him enough, though, and thoughts of escape returned instantly. Sitting there trapped in a room with a pissed off vampire was the last place he wanted to be.

His captor’s attitude changed abruptly again, and if the grin on his lips was any indication, the debate wasn’t as serious as Sousuke had initially thought. It wasn’t enough for him to relax, but at least it convinced him that he might get to live for a while longer.

“Idiot,” Shark muttered as he slipped the phone into his pocket. “You’d think that he’d know the difference between Austria and Australia by now.”

Sousuke didn’t respond, but he didn’t miss the hint of fondness in the other’s voice beneath the remark. Part of him wanted to know more, to find out just who the hell these guys were, but he decided that the less he knew, the better. If he learned anything about them other than what he already knew, then they might consider him a liability, and that would put a quick end to any hope of a long, healthy life.

“Silver’s the one with Rin, isn’t he?” he asked, mentally kicking himself for his inability to resist his curiosity.

“I’m pretty sure that was obvious.”

Sousuke bristled, his brow furrowing. He didn’t even want to _talk_ to the vampire, but he drew the line at being mocked. Shark seemed not to notice his irritation, or he simply didn’t care. Then again, Sousuke didn’t think he would. Shark was the one with the advantage here, while he was sitting at a desk worried sick about Rin. He ran through everything the other had said since the moment the door had closed, connecting the dots before teal eyes met grey ones.

“Is he the one you were talking about earlier?” he asked. “You said that you fell for someone and he killed you. It was Silver, wasn’t it?”

Shark seemed to study him for a moment, all traces of amusement gone, and Sousuke wondered if he’d overstepped a boundary. It occurred to him that he’d stay alive as long as they wanted Rin to cooperate, which emboldened him just a little bit. There was no way that they’d kill their bargaining chip this early in the game, and he let a smirk settle on his lips.

“You’re too observant for your own good,” Shark said. “Anyone ever told you that?”

The threat in his voice was clear, but Sousuke ignored it. Instead, he stood and folded his arms over his chest. He only hoped that his assessment of the situation proved accurate enough for him to make it through the night.

“So, it’s fine for you to give unwanted advice on things between me and Rin, but I can’t ask a simple question about you and Silver?” he asked. “Sounds like bullshit to me.”

Maybe provoking him wasn’t the best idea, but Sousuke was willing to take the risk. If his theory proved true, then he’d be fine. His confidence waned as he watched Shark for any signs of reaction, and he realized that he’d seriously misjudged the situation.

Grey irises began to glow, spreading to cover the whites and pupils of his eyes like molten silver, and his smile revealed sharp, elongated canines. Shark pushed himself from the wall with the tips of his fingers, taking a single step forward as he laughed softly. Sousuke was suddenly aware of the pounding of his own heart, terror gripping him and holding him in place. This man was different than Rin in more ways than one, and Sousuke finally started to understand that he was indeed expendable.

“You’ve never been part of an interrogation before have you?” Shark asked, the smile never wavering. “Let me tell you how it works. I ask questions, and I get answers by whatever means necessary. It starts with a simple threat, and then I start removing incentives if I haven’t received the results I want. Do you think we’re only here for Matsuoka? Sure, he’s the main reason, and I came to visit you first not just because of your relationship with him, but because you were there that morning.”

There wasn’t enough oxygen in the room for Sousuke to breathe, icy tendrils crushing his lungs with panic as he staggered back. He hadn’t considered that his involvement was caused by anything more than his connection to Rin, and his mind raced as he tried not to think about the implications of Shark’s words.

“I can always scream,” he said, somehow keeping a tremor from his voice. “I’ll wake up the whole dorm if I have to. You can’t kill all of them.”

“You still don’t get it, do you?” Shark took another step towards him, and his next words stole the last remaining ounce of fight that Sousuke had left in him. “I’ll burn this entire place to the ground if I have to. Do not fuck with me, Yamazaki.” Before Sousuke could even attempt to formulate a response, the vampire returned to his previous place against the wall, and the glow faded from his eyes. “So, let’s have a chat. I want to know everything that happened that morning, starting from the moment you two left your dorm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that vampires are generally morally grey at best, and they can be terrifying when they want to be.
> 
> To give some background on these two, Silver first appears in the novel _Lost & Found _, which details a lot of his background. I also RP as him on tumblr as silvertigertraveler, although not as often as I used to. Shark was created and developed by my wonderful partner in literary crime codenameshark on Tumblr, who has also been kind enough to give me permission to use him. If you're curious about what they look like, you can see art of them [here](http://silvertigertraveler.tumblr.com/image/106021729128), which was commissioned by the very talented sakura-rose12 on tumblr.
> 
> You can also come harass me on tumblr if you'd like - ladylasa


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The introduction to his heartache began as a child  
> So it's no wonder that he grew up to be so wild  
> So he protected his feelings in walls he imagined  
> But castles crumble, exposing the frightened child
> 
> \- "Fire in the Sky" (No Rest for the Wicked - 1989)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than planned. I was hoping to update both fics over the weekend, but I was having trouble with this one for some reason. Thank you again for all of the lovely comments and kudos!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as ladylasa

Sousuke knew he was screwed. Never in his life had he considered that he would encounter someone who would even suggest reducing an entire school to rubble with its students still inside, but in just a short period of time, he’d received a rude awakening. The threat rang in his ears, eyes that had been glowing just moments prior burned into his memory, and he sank down into the chair. Maybe it was the casual manner in which he’d spoken, nonchalantly mentioning the possibility of mass murder.

Testing Shark’s patience further sounded like a worse idea than provoking him in the first place, so Sousuke only took a minute or two to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to relive that morning; hell, he wanted to wipe it from his mind altogether.

So, Sousuke told him everything he remembered, every detail of shattered glass and bloody concrete. Speaking of it was nearly as bad as witnessing it, and Shark’s silence made him feel worse about the whole ordeal.

“They wouldn’t let me in the ambulance with him,” Sousuke said, barely keeping his voice steady. “And when I got to the hospital, they told me that it was too late. He didn’t make it there alive, and there was nothing they could do.  They wouldn’t even let me see him to say goodbye.”

“So he was DOA,” Shark said, almost to himself. “Which means that we need to look into the hospital staff and the paramedics. Was there anything unusual going on before you two went out that morning? Anything that was even a tiny bit out of place?”

“No. It was just like any other morning. Nothing at all was different until that car jumped the curb.” Sousuke glanced up at him, waiting for another question. “Anything else?”

“That covers what I needed from you,” he said with a shrug. “See how smoothly things go when you just cooperate? I get my answers, and your classmates get to live. It’s win-win all around.”

“And what about me?”

“The jury’s still out on that one,” Shark said. “I think Matsuoka is behaving, so your chances are looking better than they did an hour ago.”

* * *

 

Silver was speaking, but Rin was having a hard time understanding what he was saying, too preoccupied with wrapping his mind around the fact that there was a giant fucking _tiger_ lounging on the sofa like some kind of overgrown housecat. He blinked a few times, wondering if maybe he was hallucinating, but the animal remained in place, pointedly ignoring him.

“That’s…” Rin began before his voice failed him. “Silver, there’s a tiger on your couch.  Why the hell is there a _tiger_ on your _couch_?”

“Because we couldn’t leave him at home when we weren’t sure how long we’d be gone,” Silver said with a touch of impatience. “Now, can we get back to the matter at hand, or would you like to gawk at Lasair a little longer?”

Rin’s gaze turns to meet Silver’s, a sharp retort on his tongue before he remembers that he probably shouldn’t press his luck any further than he already has. _Okay,_ he thinks, trying to talk himself into remaining calm. _He has a pet tiger. It’s not trying to eat me, so just ignore it for now._

“You asked for my help,” Silver continued. “If you’re serious about that request, then you need to listen, even when you don’t like what I have to say.”

Rin slowly let the words sink in, running them over in his mind. He didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, and that knowledge settled like a rock in the pit of his stomach. Silver had been in this position longer than he had – even if his instructions were unpleasant, surely he knew what he was talking about. Not to mention that more than his own life balanced on Rin’s decision.

With one more glance at the creature on the sofa, he returned to his seat at the table, mentally preparing himself for what would come next. He had to keep his emotions in check, if not for himself, but for the sake of Sousuke and Haru. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he nodded once.

“Alright,” Rin said after a moment of tense silence. “Let’s get this over with.”

“If you’re going to insist on staying in Japan, I would recommend relocating to Tokyo.” Silver’s voice was casual, but left no room for argument. “I can make some calls to find employment for you, but you’ll need to get in touch with a supplier.” At Rin’s questioning look, he tapped the side of the bottle in front of him. “You might be able to get by with hunting two or three times a week if you supplement your meals with this.”

“What kind of job would I have to do?” Rin asked. “And what am I going to owe you in return.”

“I’m sure I can find something for you that isn’t illegal in most countries.” The corners of his lips twitched upward. “And we’ll discuss payment once I’m convinced that I won’t have to eliminate you.”

“I’m not leaving Sousuke behind.” Rin might have to concede some points, but he was firm on this one. “If I’m going to Tokyo, then I’m going to ask him to come with me after graduation.”

Silver looked like he might argue, but he simply studied him for a moment, and Rin tried to read the expression on his face. He thought he saw something akin to understanding pass through green eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come. When Silver stood, Rin watched him warily, wondering if he’d just sealed his own fate.

“Very well,” Silver said, moving towards the kitchen. “You have three days to make any arrangements here. I should have everything in order by then.”

Three days wasn’t much time, but Rin didn’t dare argue. He felt lucky that he was even getting that much time, that he might at least walk away from this encounter in one piece. Curiosity got the better of him, and he stood as well, peeking around the corner to watch Silver place several bottles in a cooler.

“This should hold you over for the next few days,” Silver said as he returned to the main room and handed over the package. “I trust you can find your way home.”

Rin stared at him blankly, blinking once when a white eyebrow arched in response to his confusion. Glancing down at the cooler, he tried to process what the hell had just happened, and he cautiously looked at Silver again, expecting some sort of trick.

“That’s it?” he asked cautiously.

“That’s it,” Silver said, motioning to the door. “Go home and get your shit together. I’ll be in touch.”

* * *

 

Rin caught the last train out of Iwatobi, thankful that he was the only one there. The late hour worked to his advantage, but the ride seemed to take far longer than it should. He was off the train before the doors had even opened completely, and his form moved at a blur as he ran at full speed back towards the campus. The pain in his wrist was forgotten, the broken bones completely healed already.

He skidded to a halt when he saw the figure leaning on the wall just outside the gate, his eyes widening as he hurried to adjust the hood of his sweatshirt. Moving forward at a casual walk, he ducked his head, but risked a glance when he neared the entrance to the Samezuka grounds, meeting grey eyes briefly. The man flashed a grin, offering a nod of acknowledgement, but said nothing as Rin slipped past him.

With a glance over his shoulder, Rin took off again, racing up the stairs in seconds before crashing through the door to his room. He didn’t allow himself even an ounce of relief until Sousuke looked up from the chair, startled by his sudden appearance. Setting the cooler down just inside the door, he crossed the room and dropped down to get a better look at him.

“Are you okay?” Rin asked, his voice trembling. “Did he hurt you at all?”

“I’m fine, I think,” Sousuke said, tucking a strand of hair behind Rin’s ear. “Just shaken up, I guess. _Fuck_ , Rin. What the hell are you mixed up in now?”

Rin let out a choked laugh and buried his face in Sousuke’s shirt. He didn’t have an answer, couldn’t even bring himself to speak again, and he shook his head as tears stung his eyes. His shoulders shuddered as he clung to him, the weight of everything that had happened that evening crashing down on him. They were safe for now, but he had no idea how long that might last.

Neither of them spoke again for close to an hour, save for Rin’s muffled apologies between sobs. At some point, they moved to the makeshift bed on the floor, simply holding each other until Rin quieted and Sousuke felt like he could breathe again. Fear continued to roll off of him in waves, and it did nothing to alleviate Rin’s guilt.

“We’re okay,” Sousuke whispered, his usually calm voice holding a slight tremor. “They’re gone, and we’re still alive.”

“It’s not over.” Rin’s voice was raw, and he couldn’t make himself look up. “You’re still in danger, and it’s my fault. If… If I don’t do what they want, then they’re going to kill us both, and probably Haru, too. I fucked up, Sou, and now I’ve put your life on the line.”

“I’ve been in danger since the minute you walked out of that shrine, but I’m still here.” Sousuke’s words were almost steady, and he hooked his fingers under Rin’s chin to lift his head. “We’ll figure this out. Tell me what they want, and we can go from there.”

As Rin met Sousuke’s gaze, he almost broke down again. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come, sticking in his throat like shards of broken glass. Looking away, fresh tears formed in his eyes, and he took a moment to try to calm himself before he managed to speak.

“I have to leave,” he said, so quiet it was nearly inaudible. “They’re giving me three days, but then I have to go.”

Sousuke’s mouth went dry, and his throat threatened to close because there was no way that he’d just heard Rin correctly. After losing him once and having him return, how could he watch him leave again? Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to keep himself calm, but his voice was strained.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Tokyo,” Rin said. “It’s too risky to stay in the small towns – at least that’s what Silver insisted. If I want us to even have a chance of making it through this, then I have to take his advice.” He paused for a moment, finally looking up at Sousuke again. “After graduation, would you come out there with me? I mean, I don’t know what you were planning to do after you finish here, but I don’t want to be in the city alone; I want you there with me.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sousuke knew this was a bad idea, but Rin had been adamant. All he had to do was get Haru alone and make sure no one overheard their conversation, especially Gou, which would have been a lot easier if Haru would get out of the pool for more than thirty seconds at a time. Keeping Gou occupied was a little easier. She took her job as manager seriously, and while he could still see the sadness in her eyes when she glanced at her brother’s former team, she was keeping herself together well.

The joint practice had been Rin’s idea. Sousuke could agree that meeting at night was dangerous – they were probably under constant observation once the sun went down – but bringing the entire Iwatobi team to Samezuka was too risky in his opinion. He didn’t want to spend their last few nights together for a while with Rin pissed at him, though. So, he was left trying to corral a certain athlete, while Rin was making the room presentable again, and hopefully putting the mattresses back where they belonged.

Most of the Samezuka swimmers had headed back to their dorms before Haru finally pulled himself out of the water. The rest of his team had already showered and changed, and Sousuke glanced over to Gou, who seemed to be stuck listening to whatever Momotarou was going on about. Without her older brother to drag the younger Mikoshiba away, the pair actually had a few minutes to talk without interruption, which gave Sousuke the opportunity he needed.

Slipping into the locker room, he waited for Haru to enter before pulling him around one of the rows of lockers. Sousuke didn’t give him a chance to protest, and he silenced him with a glare that Haru returned equally.

“We need to talk,” he said. Haru remained silent, but he made no move to leave. “I meant the three of us. Rin wants to talk to you.”

“Then why didn’t he just call me?” Haru asked.

“Probably because you never answer your damn phone,” Sousuke said. “Besides, this is more of a face-to-face kind of conversation. Get yourself cleaned up and let’s go.”’

“Doesn’t he sleep during the day?”

“Not today, he doesn’t.” He glanced towards the entrance to the locker room, certain that he heard someone’s voice. “Look, we’ll talk about it upstairs. Just hurry up.”

“Haru?” Makoto’s voice echoed through the near-empty room, and Sousuke shot Haru a warning look.

“It’s just Makoto,” Haru said, ignoring him. “Besides, he already knows.”

“ _What?!_ ” He sent a glare at Makoto as he rounded the corner, and then his attention returned to Haru. “You want to explain to me why the fuck Tachibana knows about this when we both know that this was supposed to be kept quiet?”

“Because it’s Makoto,” Haru said, as if that was all the explanation he needed. “We don’t keep things from each other.”

“Who else knows?”

“No one,” Haru said.

“Is this about Rin?” Makoto asked, his voice barely even a whisper. “I haven’t told anyone, either. You can trust us, Yamazaki.”

Sousuke didn’t comment on that. Instead, he shook his head and headed out into the natatorium. The rest of his team had already departed, leaving only the other two Iwatobi swimmers, and he looked around for the only other person who should have still been there.

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked, following him.

“Where’s your manager?” Sousuke asked.

“She went to pick up some of Rin-chan’s things,” Nagisa said. His smile was a little subdued, but he tried to keep it in place. “She said she wouldn’t be long.”

_Oh, shit._ Sousuke cast a glance at Makoto before taking off in a run, leaving a confused pair of swimmers behind him. He thought he heard the Iwatobi captain tell them to head back without him, and then came the sound of footsteps hurrying to catch up.

* * *

 

The attendant at the desk had been more helpful than Gou could have hoped. All she had to do was explain who she was, provide her student ID, and she’d received the extra key to her brother’s old room. She didn’t want to bother Sousuke with this; she’d probably be out of there before he even returned.

Keeping up a cheerful demeanor had been difficult during the practice, but she knew she had to be strong for her team. If her brother was watching over her still, he would have wanted her to make sure they did their best. A small smile settled on her lips when she stopped at the door to his room, but she hesitated for a moment, second guessing her decision to come up here alone. She didn’t want the others to see her cry again, though, and it was entirely possible that it might happen once she started retrieving Rin’s belongings.

Gou took a deep breath and unlocked the door, surprised by the darkened interior as she stepped into the room. The light from the hallway showed a clear path to the window, but something was covering it. She couldn’t remember where the light switch was, and it was probably better to just let the natural light in anyway.

With a soft sigh, she let the door close and started across the room. As she reached for the blanket over the window, though, cool fingers wrapped around her wrist, and a hand clamped over her mouth to stifle her scream. Her assailant pulled her back towards the center of the room, and her mind raced as she struggled to break free, but it was no use. Kicking until she felt her foot connect with something, she froze at the voice that sounded way too familiar as it let out a curse.

“Would you just calm down for a few seconds?” She _definitely_ knew that voice, and her eyes widened as she tried to turn around. “Look, I’ll turn on the light. Just stay away from the window, and please don’t scream, okay?”

She managed to nod, her heart racing as she listened. She’d thought she’d never hear him speak again, and when he slowly released her, she turned around, straining to see him in the dark. As she held her breath, she watched his silhouette cross the room, and the small desk lamp illuminated his features when he turned to face her.

One hand lifted to cover her mouth as Gou stared at her brother. He looked exactly the same as he’d been right before the accident, not even a fading bruise to show that it had happened, and she searched his face for some indication that he had an explanation. It shouldn’t have been possible – she’d been with her mother at the hospital when they needed to identify his body – and yet he was standing before her and failing to meet her gaze.

She watched him tense as she approached, likely in anticipation of her temper, but she looked up at him for only a few more seconds before burying her face in his chest. Her shoulders shook with sobs as she clung to his shirt, afraid that if she let go for even a second, he’d disappear again.

Rin stood completely still for a few seconds while his sister’s tears soaked into the fabric of his shirt, but he then relaxed and held her close. He’d fooled himself into thinking that he’d come to terms with the fact that he had to cut ties with almost everyone, and while her knowledge of his continued existence wasn’t part of his plan, he couldn’t deny that he was glad to see her. He smoothed down her hair as he whispered hushed words of comfort, and guilt hit him full force when she leaned back to look up at him.

“How?” she asked, before concern crept into her expression. Reaching up, she brushed a streak of crimson from his cheek, and Rin realized that he’d started crying too. “You’re bleeding,” Gou whispered as another tear escaped his eyes. “Brother… What’s going on?”

He wasn’t sure how to explain. Fear was starting to mingle with her worry, and he tried to find the words to put her at ease. Seeing him at all was enough of a shock; he didn’t think that adding the news that he was undead would make her discovery any better. She continued to stare at him as she took a step back, some long forgotten instinct warning her that she should keep her distance, and she spun around to face the door when it slammed open.

Sousuke rushed into the room, but Makoto stopped in the doorway. It was one thing for Haru to tell him that Rin was back, but seeing him for the first time since before the funeral was another issue entirely. He paled at the sight of blood trailing down Rin’s face, swallowing hard as he glanced at Gou briefly. Her eyes were still a little red and puffy, but she looked otherwise unharmed.

“Well, this is awkward.” Sousuke was the first to break the silence, drawing attention away from Rin. “Close the door, Tachibana.”

“So, it’s true,” Makoto said as he stepped inside, letting the door close behind him. He flinched when it clicked, but forced himself not to open it again just to have a means of escape.

“Haru told him,” Sousuke said when Rin looked between them in confusion. “I gave him shit for it, but he said it didn’t matter because it was ‘just Makoto’.”

“Where the hell is Haru?” Rin asked. He wiped his face, calming a little more with each passing moment.

“It took forever to get him out of the damn pool,” Sousuke said. “He should be up here in a few minutes if he doesn’t get distracted by the water from the shower. Tachibana sent the other two back to Iwatobi.”

Rin nodded. The more people who knew about him, the more trouble he would have to deal with. He could live with Makoto knowing, and if he were to be honest, he was actually relieved that Gou was there, but he didn’t have the same kind of history with Rei, and Nagisa was all but joined at the hip with him.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?” Gou asked. Her frustration at being apparently forgotten was obvious, and her hands rested on her hips as she waited for an answer.

None of them were eager to answer, but Sousuke looked at Rin as he nodded towards Gou. He’d support Rin as best as he could, but it wasn’t his place to provide the details of their circumstances. That was Rin’s story to tell. Rin, however, looked away, rubbing the back of his neck as he moved to sit on the bottom bunk.

“Don’t all talk at once, guys,” Gou said with a sigh. Shaking her head, she moved to sit beside her brother, and she rested a hand on his arm. “What happened?”

“You shouldn’t sit so close,” Rin said. “It’s not safe.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Sousuke muttered. He grabbed a bottle from the fridge and handed it to Rin before heading towards the door, grabbing Makoto by the arm along the way. “Stop being dramatic and talk to your sister. We’re going to go track down Haru and make sure he didn’t jump back in the pool when no one was looking.”

Rin watched them leave, wanting to protest but unable to come up with a good argument for them to stay. He didn’t want to have this conversation with other people around; it felt like this was something the siblings had to handle themselves. His sister remained silent beside him, although he could tell that she was curious about the contents of the bottle. Twisting off the lid, he tossed it aside and took a slow sip, hoping it would calm his nerves enough to help him explain the situation.

“I woke up after the wake,” he said, staring at the bottle. “I wasn’t really sure what the hell was going on at first, but I guess it didn’t take too long to figure it out. Listen, Gou, I don’t want you to think anything less of me after you hear what I have to say. If you never want to see me again, then at least try to forget tonight, and remember how I was before…”

He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. It wasn’t _fair_. Once again, the thought ran through his mind that he hadn’t asked for any of this. Now he had a chance to be a part of his sister’s life again, but it also came with the risk that she wouldn’t want to be a part of his. He briefly considered coming up with some kind of bullshit excuse, but he immediately dismissed the idea.

“I’m leaving for Tokyo in a few days,” he continued. “That’s why I wanted to talk to Haru today, so he wouldn’t think I just ran off again. It’s too dangerous for me to stay around here. Not just for me, but for everyone else, too.”

“Brother,” Gou said softly. “You’re starting to scare me. Please just tell me what you’re talking about.”

“I didn’t fake my death, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Rin said. “I died on the way to the hospital that day, but something brought me back a couple nights later. I still don’t know who or what did this, but I’m trying to find out.” Finally, he met her gaze, resting his free hand on hers. “I’m not human anymore, Gou. I’m not dead, but I’m not really alive, either. It’s fucked up, and I know it sounds scary, but I’m still me, okay? And I’d never do anything to hurt you. Please tell me you believe that?”

She listened carefully to every word, and the honesty in his tone told her more than the information itself. Of course, it was scary – it was terrifying actually – but how many times had she almost lost him completely? She’d thought the funeral was it, that she’d go the rest of her life trying to make bother her brother and father proud, and yet he was sitting there with her, trying to tell her the truth without saying something that would make her run.

“What’s in the bottle?” she asked, finding her voice after a few moments.

“Are you sure you want to know?” He looked away again once she nodded. “It’s blood. O Negative if you want to get technical about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took an extra week to write. 
> 
> Feel free to harass me on tumblr - ladylasa


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got to travel forever  
> It's all within my mind  
> An endless path to endeavor  
> Forever is a long, long time
> 
> \- Centre of Eternity ("Bark at the Moon" 1983)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I'm going through some pretty heavy real-life stuff right now, and I haven't had the time nor the drive to write anything. I hope this makes up for it, though.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr - [ ladylasa ](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)

_It’s blood_ , she repeated to herself silently. Her brother was sitting next to her, one cool hand on hers while the other held a bottle of chilled O Negative. Gou swallowed hard, her heart hammering in her chest at the realization of what her brother had become. She couldn’t ignore his plea for understanding, though, and she looked away as she took a few deep breaths in an attempt to keep herself calm.

“Gou, please say something,” Rin said softly.

At least she wasn’t pulling away from him, but it was impossible for him to ignore the spike in her heart rate and the scent of fear that began to permeate the room. As he started to withdraw his hand, both of hers grasped it, and he stared at her in surprise as she brought herself back under control and looked up at him.

“You’re back,” she said. Her voice held determination that she was trying to feel, but she couldn’t give up on him. “That’s what matters. The rest is just details. Why didn’t you tell me, though? How could you just hide out here and let me think that you were really dead?”

“I didn’t know how to explain it.” It was a weak excuse, and he knew it. “I’m still getting used to this, and I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost control around you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that happened.” He couldn’t hold her gaze as he struggled with his next words, and he stared down at their hands when he spoke again. “Maybe I was also afraid of how you’d react. I thought you’d either hate me or be afraid of me, and I don’t want either.”

“Look at me,” Gou said firmly, waiting until he complied. “You’re my big brother; this doesn’t change that at all. It may be a little frightening, and it’s going to take some time for me to get used to it, but if I didn’t hate you back when you were acting like an ass towards everyone, then I’m not going to hate you over this.” A small smile lit up her features. “Besides, now if people mess with me, I can just ask you to eat them!”

“Gou!” Rin was almost surprised, but her quiet laugh was enough for him to grin and shake his head. “You know I’d always stand up for my baby sister, even if it means I have to eat someone for messing with you.” His expression grew serious again. “Just… Don’t tell Mom, okay? I think it’ll be better if she doesn’t know what really happened.”

He knew she’d argue the point, but before she could get the first word out, the door opened. Sousuke entered first, followed by Haru and Makoto, and he looked between Rin and Gou for a moment before relaxing. Once the door clicked shut behind them, Sousuke claimed the chair at the desk, leaning back with his arms crossed.

“What’s so important that you had to have Sousuke call a joint practice?” Haru asked. He stayed close to the door, the memory of the last time he’d been in the dorm room still fresh in his mind. “You could have just called.”

“You never answer your damn phone,” Rin snapped. Reining in his temper, he moved his hand away from his sister’s and took another sip from the bottle before leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “It’s safer to talk to you guys during the day. I’m being watched, and I don’t want you to get pulled into it.”

“There are others out there,” Sousuke added. “They’re like Rin, only a lot more dangerous. These assholes would probably kill any or all of us without even thinking about it.”

“So what now?” Makoto asked. To his credit, his initial fear at the situation had hardened into determination. Rin was his friend, first and foremost, and he couldn’t let him down. “What are we going to do about them?”

“ _We_ aren’t going to do anything,” Rin said. “But I’m going to do what they want. I’m leaving for Tokyo, and I probably won’t be back for a while.” Looking up, he glanced between all of them. “I can try to keep in contact here and there, but it’s safer for you if I disappear. I’m not going to let any of you get hurt because of me.”

No one spoke for several minutes. Gou stared at her brother as she processed the news. He was back, but he was leaving again, and she felt the ache of his absence all over again. Her hands balled into fists in her lap, fingernails digging into her palms as she looked down. It wasn’t _fair_. None of this should have happened to begin with. Hadn’t he been through enough already? It had taken drastic measures for him to reconcile with their friends, and now all of that was gone again, just as it had been the moment some careless driver had hit him.

Haru and Makoto seemed to be lost in their own silent conversation, and Sousuke watched them silently, his scowl deepening. When Makoto inclined his head towards Rin, Haru shook his slightly, but something in Makoto’s gaze cracked his resolve, and he finally gave a curt nod. Still, neither of them said anything else, and Sousuke’s patience was just about gone.

“Can you two stop that weird telepathy shit you have going on?” he said, his voice holding a little more of an edge than usual.

“Sorry, Yamazaki,” Makoto said as a small smile settled on his lips. “It’s just that maybe that’s not as bad as it seems.” He glanced at Haru, who sighed and looked away. “Haru and I are going to be going to University in Tokyo after graduation, so we’ll still be able to see each other, right?”

“It all depends on if I’m still under a fucking microscope,” Rin said. “On the one hand, they said they’d help me find a job and an apartment, but they also threatened to kill me, Sou, and Haru if I didn’t do what they said. I want to keep you as far away from this as possible.”

“You can’t do everything alone,” Haru said. “So stop being an idiot. When are you leaving?”

“Haru, this isn’t a game,” Rin said, resisting the urge to start pacing.

“I’m pretty sure we figured that out already,” Sousuke said. “As much as I hate to admit it, Haruka has a point. Do you really think that anyone in this room would leave you on your own, especially when we all thought that you were dead? Yeah, it’s fucking dangerous, but so are you, and do you see any of us leaving?”

Rin could feel the sting of tears in his eyes, and he tried to blink them away.  He’d been prepared for this to serve as a farewell to his friends who had done so much to bring a smile back to his lips, and now they were refusing to let him continue on alone. It was more than he’d expected, more than he thought he deserved, and he turned away to hide the trails of crimson streaking down his face.

He knew they were right, but he also knew that the smart thing to do would be to keep trying to dissuade them. Not that it would work, of course. Rin knew them well enough to know that nothing he could say would change their minds, and he was as grateful for that as he was apprehensive.

“You’re bleeding!” Gou jumped up, but he turned away again before she could get a better look. “Brother, what happened?”

“He’s not bleeding,” Sousuke said, fighting a laugh. “He’s crying like the giant sap that he is.”.

“I’m not crying!” Rin shot back.

“You cry blood now?” Haru asked. “That’s… gross.”

“Shut up, Haru,” Rin snapped, wiping his face.

The tension that had surrounded them finally snapped, and Rin was starting to feel like things were going to be alright. His friends were going to stick by him even though he was a monster and even knowing that there were others out there who had taken an interest in him. They weren’t going to let him face everything alone.

“You should think about telling Nagisa,” Makoto said, steering them back to more important matters. “He’s your friend, too, and I think he’d want to know that you’re okay.”

“Can he keep his mouth shut about it?” Sousuke asked. “That little blond terror is the loudest kid I’ve ever met, next to Mikoshiba. He’s not going to just let it slip out accidently, will he?”

“He knows when to stay quiet about something,” Makoto assured him. “I know he didn’t seem like it at practice earlier, but he hasn’t been the same since we heard the news a few weeks ago. He puts on a brave face and tries to keep everyone else smiling, but he’s hurting just as much as we were.”

Rin let a sigh hiss through his teeth as he considered it. He didn’t want anyone else to be at risk, and he couldn’t tell Nagisa without telling Rei as well. While he didn’t know Rei nearly as well as he knew the others, it was obvious that he was an integral part of the group, and Rin couldn’t just ignore that. There wasn’t time to deal with it at the moment, though. Sunset was approaching quickly, and they had to wrap things up for the day.

“Fine,” he said. “Bring him over tomorrow after you get out of school. Just make sure you have enough time to get back to Iwatobi before the sun goes down, and if any of you have to go out at night, make sure you stay as a group. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, or if you think someone’s following or watching you, call me or Sou right away, got it?” He received nods and murmurs of agreement in response, and managed a grin. “Good. You should get going, then. It’s going to be dark out soon.”

Gou lingered behind after the others left, and she searched her brother’s face for any sign that he could be acting overdramatic about the situation. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time, but she could tell that he was serious, and that alone was frightening.  Even during his darkest moments, she always believed that he could protect her from anything. Now, it seemed like there was something that scared him enough to question his ability to keep anyone safe, and she took his hand again.

“Things are going to be alright, aren’t they?” she asked, guarded hope in her expression.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said. Pulling her into a hug, he tried to believe his own words, and he hoped that she did. “Everything’s going to be fine. Trust me; I’ve got this.” Leaning back again, he flashed a grin, even if it felt forced. “Go on. You’d better get out of here, and they’re probably waiting for you.”

His words put her at ease just a little, and she smiled in return before heading out into the hall. Haru and Makoto were waiting by the stairs as she hurried to catch up to them, feeling better than she’d felt in weeks. Her brother was alive – well, sort of – and he wasn’t going to just run off without telling her. Even if things were a little scary at the moment, they’d get through it as a team.

Once they were outside, she paused to glance up at his window, unable to see anything inside through the thick blanket covering it, but just knowing he was there helped. Makoto and Haru walked on either side of her as they made their way back through the gates, and she paused as movement to her right caught her attention. When she turned to see what it was, however, all she caught was a flash of what might have been a white and black tail, and she shrugged it off as a trick of her imagination as her attention returned to the path ahead.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the feeling when the magic is just right  
> There's no revealing what is hidden in the night  
> Riding on a train that I can't control  
> No one else to blame and I can't let go
> 
> \- "A.V.H." (No More Tears - 1991)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay again. I've been dealing with some things still, and I'm working on my other fic at the same time. There probably won't be any updates on either of them for the next couple of weeks because I'm going to be away on vacation, but I'll get back to work on them when I get home.
> 
> You can still find me on tumblr - [ladylasa](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)

Once the trio had left, Rin dropped down onto the bottom bunk and slid back to lean against the wall. He didn’t want to scare the hell out of any of them – especially Gou – but he couldn’t bullshit them either. If they wanted to stay in contact with him, then they deserved to know the risks, and they had to take proper precautions.

He didn’t glance up when Sousuke settled beside him, but Rin allowed himself a few minutes of comfort and leaned over to relax against him. They were almost out of time, and he dreaded each minute that passed because it just meant he’d be leaving that much sooner. It was difficult not to blame himself. If he’d just been smarter about hunting, then he wouldn’t have gained the attention of two other of his kind. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to leave everyone behind.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Sousuke said. “You didn’t ask for this shit to happen.”

“Stop reading my mind.” Rin managed a small smile but couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze.

“It was bound to happen eventually,” Sousuke continued. “Even if those two pricks weren’t the ones causing trouble, you couldn’t hide in the dorms forever. Probably not even until graduation. The risk of someone finding you would be too high. It sucks that you’re going all the way to Tokyo, but I’ll be out there as soon as I can, and I might be able to swing some weekend visits in between.”

Of course, Rin was grateful, but the twinge of guilt at putting all of them through this wouldn’t allow him to voice that gratitude. Even just sitting there, Sousuke was in danger, and the fact that Rin was the biggest threat to his life in that moment made it that much worse. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he could have everything ready to go and leave as soon as the sun set instead of waiting a couple more days.

“I’ll need to save up money for the trips,” Sousuke said. “So I won’t be able to visit you right away, which means it could be a few weeks before we see each other again. Are you really going to spend our last few days together for a while sitting around moping?”

“I’m not moping,” Rin muttered.

“Bullshit.”

That was enough for Rin to look up, but the amusement in Sousuke’s eyes stole any trace of anger that the single word had caused. He had a point, Rin realized, and sitting around obsessing over every little thing was a waste of what little time they had left together. That simply wouldn’t do.

There were much better ways to spend that time, and Rin caught the change in Sousuke’s expression as he moved to straddle his thighs. Rin didn’t give him time to react, diving in to claim his lips as he tangled a hand in strands of dark hair. Sousuke’s arms wrapped around him, his fingers trailing down Rin’s back until they rested on his ass, pulling him closer. The soft gasp when Rin rolled his hips provided the perfect opportunity to slide his tongue past Sousuke’s lips, and he repeated the motion just to see if he could get another reaction.

He wasted no time in discarding their shirts, and the heat of Sousuke’s body against his cool skin only made him want more. Fire spread from every touch as he felt fingertips trail along his back, fingernails teasing him as he moved against his lover, craving more of the delicious friction. Sousuke rewarded him with quiet moans, and the sound of his racing pulse added even more encouragement.

The constraints of his jeans were quickly becoming an inconvenience, and Rin hooked his fingers under the hem of Sousuke’s track pants as he slid back, dragging them down with his boxers. He took a moment to let his gaze stray over the other’s body, taking in every inch of well-defined muscle before he shed his jeans and grabbed the small bottle of lube from the desk drawer. Wasting no more time, he reclaimed his previous position, and his kiss was demanding when he resumed his attentions once more.

Sousuke’s heart pounded in his chest as Rin moved against him. Letting Rin take control was both dangerous and exhilarating, and excitement rushed through his veins at the difference in Rin’s demeanor compared to their first time. Rin was demanding, moving against him perfectly, and Sousuke shuddered at the low growl against his chest as Rin’s fingers wrapped around his cock. Everything about it was possessive, and Sousuke was more than willing to allow Rin to stake his claim, regardless of the risks.

He almost reciprocated, wanting to make Rin feel the same pleasure coursing through him, but he felt Rin’s length against his own and focused on slicking his fingers instead. The moment he reached back and slipped one inside, Rin moaned against his lips, and by the time a second finger joined the first, Rin was rocking back for more. Watching him come apart was quickly becoming one of Sousuke’s favorite activities.

It wasn’t long before Rin lifted himself up to let his fingers slide out, positioning his cock to slowly sink down onto it. The way his head fell back, his body trembling as he took in each inch until he was settled on Sousuke’s lap was breathtaking, and Sousuke took the opportunity to trail his lips and teeth against the pale column of his throat. His hands rested on Rin’s hips, and his grip tightened, guiding Rin’s movements once he’d adjusted to the feeling of Sousuke stretching him open.

When Rin met his gaze, there was a feral glint in his eyes, his pupils narrowed to slits as he took up a relentless pace. Any uncertainty or fear he’d felt before was long gone, and Sousuke was lost in a haze of scarlet as his breath grew ragged. It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, and the next time Rin brought himself down, Sousuke’s hips snapped up to meet him, earning a sharp cry that told him he’d hit the perfect spot.

Rin’s lips were on his again, and he felt his tongue brush against dagger-sharp teeth. The metallic taste in his mouth wasn’t nearly enough to make him second guess this, and when Rin trailed kisses down his jawline, Sousuke tipped his head to the side, silently granting permission. They were both close – the pace Rin was setting ensured that neither of them would last much longer – and one hand gripped Rin’s hip hard while the other stroked his cock in time with each thrust.

The sharp pain when fangs pierced flesh was lost in the way Rin moaned against his neck. Ecstasy took over, chasing every other sensation away, and Sousuke simply knew that if Rin chose to take his life in that moment, he would have no complaints. The tightening of Rin’s muscles around him, the splash of blood against his stomach, and the warmth spilling from the twin punctures pushed him over the edge, and he relished in the orgasm that overtook him.

Rin rested his head against Sousuke’s shoulder, slowly coming down from the effects of blood and sex, and he listened to Sousuke’s breathing gradually return to normal. For several minutes, neither of them moved; neither of them even wanted to move. Finally, he leaned back, momentarily distracted by the trickle of crimson on tanned skin, but he pulled himself back into focus as he looked at Sousuke, checking for any sign of discomfort. The contentment on the other’s face was enough for him to relax again, and he brushed his lips against his forehead as he carefully slid off of his lap.

“You okay?” he whispered, settling beside him.

“That’s a stupid thing to ask.” Sousuke laughed softly. “Wherever the hell that came from, it better not be the last time.”

Not for the first time, Rin was glad that he couldn’t blush, but he choked on his words before deciding just to keep his mouth shut. Sousuke was fine, and that had felt amazing. That was what mattered.

* * *

 

Sousuke slept soundly beside him, even though the bottom bunk wasn’t designed for both of them to fit comfortably, and Rin rested his head against his chest to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart. He was going to miss these nights. The silence within his own chest wasn’t as unsettling as it was at first, but having to go weeks without hearing Sousuke’s heartbeat was going to be difficult.

The light of his phone flashed from the desk, but he ignored it. He didn’t want to talk to anyone else at the moment, and moving would probably have woken his boyfriend. Closing his eyes, he heard it buzz again, and he gave it even less attention than he did the first time it disturbed him. Four more times, it vibrated across the desk before it finally silenced, and Rin settled in to rest again.

Maybe half an hour passed before he heard tapping on the door, and he froze. He dismissed the few friends who knew he wasn’t dead, but that left a very large unknown when it came to the identity of whoever the hell wanted to talk to him in the middle of the night. Dread seeped into the pit of his stomach, and he held his breath, counting the seconds as they ticked by. The knock came again, still quiet, but more insistent, and Rin felt himself tense.

Sousuke’s breathing changed, signaling that he was awake, and Rin clamped a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet as he nodded towards the door. There was an attempt at the doorknob, and Rin’s unease turned to panic when the visitor started tampering with the lock. Light spilled into the room from the corridor when the door opened, and fear gripped him when the door closed with a quiet _click_.

“Ignoring me won’t make me go away.”

Rin was on his feet in an instant, placing himself between the intruder and the bed despite knowing that he’d be outmatched. This was bad. No, this was borderline disastrous, but Rin wasn’t going to back down, not when he had a chance to protect Sousuke.

“I still have two days,” he said evenly.

“That’s not why I’m here,” Silver said. “Get dressed. I found something that might interest you.”

“No.”

_That_ certainly wasn’t the answer Silver had expected, and Rin felt a little proud of himself for it. Squaring his shoulders, he stared him down, even though he was standing there in his boxers. This was _his_ room, the space he shared with Sousuke, and the security of it had already been shattered once. He wasn’t going to just sit there and let it happen again.

“Tell me what’s so fucking interesting and I might fit you into my schedule,” Rin said. “I still have to finish packing.”

“Rin…” Sousuke’s voice held a warning. He was gambling with both their lives, and the tone of that one word was enough of a reminder. “Hear him out so I can go back to sleep at some point tonight.”

He understood the suggestion for what it was. Sousuke was even less thrilled to have someone break into their dorm room, but he wasn’t really fond of the idea of getting murdered in the middle of the night either. Thankfully, Silver seemed inclined to indulge the demand, although his tone held more amusement than annoyance.

“I think we solved the mystery of why you didn’t stay dead.”

Silver had their undivided attention now, and Rin heard Sousuke get up to stand behind him. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? It was a chance to find out what really happened that day, and there was no way that he could just let that slip by without at least listening.

“How?” Rin asked, barely able to find his voice.

“As I said, get dressed,” Silver said. “There’s someone you should meet. I trust you remember how to get there.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I warned you then and I'm warning you now  
> If you mess with me you're playing with fire  
> Winds of change that are fanning the flames  
> Will carry you to your funeral pyre
> 
> "The Ultimate Sin" (1986)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I apologize for the wait. Things are starting to settle down at home again, and then I went on vacation for a week. This past week has been really busy at work while I catch up on what piled up while I was away.   
> Also, I want to issue a reminder and a warning for this chapter. Things get a little messy in this one, so I feel the need to warn for blood and violence. Enjoy!

It wasn’t as late as Rin had initially thought, and he blamed his lapse in awareness on the fact that he’d been awake most of the day. He kept his head down throughout the train ride to Iwatobi, the hood of his sweatshirt covering his hair as he stood between Sousuke and the back wall of the car. His boyfriend was tense, which was expected, but Rin’s nerves were a mess. If he could believe Silver’s words, then they were about to find out how he ended up undead, but what the hell was he supposed to do with that knowledge?

The doors opened at their stop, and Rin took the lead as he tried to remember the way to the seaside cabin. It was about a thirty minute walk from the station, far enough outside of town so that the locals had no reasons to suspect anything was amiss. Rin knew better, though, and as they grew closer to the building, the scents of blood and fear hit him hard enough to slow his pace.

“Rin?” Sousuke prompted, stopping when he did.

“You should go back,” he said. “I have a feeling that you won’t want to see what’s in there.”

“I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone,” Sousuke said.

“Something’s not right, Sou,” Rin added. “I can smell the blood from here, and whoever they’ve got in there is fucking terrified. _I_ don’t even want to go in there, but I have to know. That doesn’t mean that you have to see what these guys are capable of too.”

Sousuke responded by starting forward again, and Rin fell into step beside him, both of their nerves on edge. Silver was waiting outside for them, absently brushing his hand over the white fur of the tiger, and Rin glanced over at Sousuke when he heard a sharp intake of breath. Before either of them could speak, Silver broke the tense silence.

“I was beginning to think that I’d have to go back to your room and drag you out here,” he said.

“Yeah, well, we’re not going to be here all night,” Rin said, shoving down the growing unease. At that moment, he’d be happy anywhere else but outside that cabin. He’d even be happy to play fetch with the damn tiger if it meant he wouldn’t have to go inside, but he wouldn’t be that lucky. “You said you found someone who has answers; I want to talk to them.”

“Indeed,” Silver said. The door behind him opened, but it provided no opportunity for them to see the interior as Shark joined them outside, wiping his hands on a bloodstained towel. “I’m sure he’s willing to answer your questions now, at least more than he was when we first located him.”

Sousuke felt bile rising in the back of his throat as he glanced between the pair and Rin. The conflicting emotions were clear on his boyfriend’s face – horror, anger, and eagerness made an interesting combination. Sousuke suddenly realized his position; he was the only human present who wasn’t currently a prisoner, and this probably wasn’t the safest place for him to be. There was no changing that, so he tried to steady his heartbeat as he settled his attention on Silver and Shark.

“Well, are you going to keep us waiting, or are you going to let us talk to this guy?” he asked.

Maybe calling attention to himself wasn’t the brightest idea he’d ever had. When grey and green eyes turned to him, his pulse spiked, but he stood his ground. The predatory grin that spread on Shark’s lips certainly didn’t help matters either. He was determined not to show fear, though, even if he already knew that they could smell it on him.

Without another word, Shark turned and headed back inside, and Rin stepped forward without hesitation. Silver remained outside, and Sousuke was momentarily torn between facing what was waiting for them or staying there with another vampire and a very large tiger. His support for Rin and his own curiosity won out, and he followed quietly, shutting the door behind him.

The scene before them was enough to drain the color from his face, and he had to force himself to stand still as he stared at the figure slumped in a chair, his back facing them. The captive’s hands were bound behind him with plastic zip-ties, and Sousuke could barely make out the identical ones securing the man’s ankles to the legs of the chair. As he followed Rin further inside, he couldn’t tear his gaze away, and he noted with horror that the man’s shirt was soaked with blood, making it impossible to guess its original color. One eye was swollen shut, and the bindings had cut into the skin at his wrists, but what was most disturbing was the bloodied knife on the table, along with the multiple cuts in the shirt and the skin beneath.

“Holy shit,” he whispered, taking a step back.

“Tell them what you told me,” Shark said as he moved to lean back against the table. “And no bullshit this time, got it?”

The man slowly lifted his head, his expression thoroughly defeated, but his undamaged eye widened the second he saw Rin. He seemed frozen to the spot, unable to move even if he weren’t tied to a chair, and panic registered on his face as Rin stepped closer.

“They told me that you know something about what happened to me,” Rin said. It was nearly impossible to hide his excitement, and the prisoner’s current physical state did nothing to diminish he need for answers. He glanced over at Shark. “Who is he?”

“One of the paramedics who peeled you off of the sidewalk.”

“I thought it didn’t work,” the man whispered, drawing Rin’s attention.

“Thought _what_ didn’t work?” Rin demanded. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when the man shook his head, but he wasn’t going anywhere until he learned the truth. “You know why I’m still here, don’t you?”

“It was an experiment,” he said quickly. “There was a visiting doctor on the night shift, and we started getting along really well. She gave me a vial to use on a patient who might not make it to see if her theory was right. I…” He trailed off for a moment, growing increasingly nervous as he shrank under Rin’s glare. “It was vampire blood. She wanted to know if a simple injection would turn someone, and when you didn’t come back before your family claimed the body, I told her it didn’t work.”

Rin took a step back, stunned at the revelation. Someone had planned this, waited for the perfect opportunity, and then made the conscious decision to inflict this upon him. He could feel himself trembling as shock and anger burned into rage, but he kept his composure.

“I want to talk to him alone,” he said.

“Rin, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Sousuke asked. “We got what we came here for, so I think we should go.”

“Not yet,” Rin said. “Just give me a couple of minutes.”

“You heard him,” Shark said. As he started towards the door, he grabbed Sousuke’s upper arm to guide him outside. “Matsuoka can handle this asshole without our help.”

“It’s okay, Sousuke,” Rin said. The edge to his voice sent a chill up Sousuke’s spine, but he stopped resisting.

“You’re sure?” he pressed.

“Trust me,” Rin said.

And he did. Sousuke trusted him more than he probably should, all things considered. His stomach was twisting into knots, dread-induced nausea threatening to shatter his determination to keep himself calm, but he held himself together long enough to wrench his arm free of Shark’s grasp to follow him through the doorway.

One the door clicked shut, Rin focused on the man before him. This was the one who’d done this to him, who had made him into a monster, and who had indirectly threatened the safety of the people dear to him. He read the fear in the other’s eyes but said nothing as he grabbed the knife from the table, pausing for a moment before slicing through the bindings. Dropping the weapon back onto the wood, he leaned back and folded his arms.

“I only have one more question,” he said. “And I want an honest answer.”

“I’m not walking out of here alive, am I?”

“I don’t think that’s entirely my call,” Rin said with a shrug. “I want to know something about that ambulance ride. Was there a chance that I might have survived if you hadn’t put that shit in my system?”

The man’s silence and the way he averted his gaze were a clear answer, but it wasn’t enough. Rin needed to hear it; he had to _know_. Snarling, he reached forward, grabbing the soiled shirt and hauling him to his feet, fangs barely an inch from his face.

“Answer me!” Rin yelled. “If you’d done your fucking job instead of injecting me with vampire blood, could I have pulled through?”

“Yes.”

The shaky admission echoed in his ears, and the thread tying Rin to his humanity snapped.

* * *

 

Sousuke distanced himself from the pair, and he remained silent as they held their own private conversation. He didn’t recognize the language as Japanese or English, so there was no way for him to figure out what they were discussing. Movement out of the corner of his eye caused him to turn his head, and he swallowed as he watched the tiger slowly approach. As if having two killers separating him from Rin wasn’t bad enough, he now had to figure out how not to become the great cat’s dinner.

As the tiger stalked closer, Sousuke glanced at Shark and Silver, who were either oblivious to his problem or choosing to ignore it. He didn’t exactly want their attention either, and he honestly wasn’t sure which of the three would be least likely to eat him. Warm breath against his hand drew his gaze back to the animal. He stood as still as possible, his heart pounding as his mouth went dry. The seconds dragged on as he waited, but he let out the breath he was holding when soft fur brushed against his fingertips as the tiger rubbed its head against his hand.

“It seems you’ve passed his inspection,” Silver said, startling him into withdrawing his hand quickly. “I trust your friends made it home safely this afternoon?”

Sousuke really didn’t need anything else to make him uneasy, and he was starting to think that they were doing it on purpose. The quiet laugh that met his stunned stare was enough confirmation for him. His eyes narrowed as his hands clenched into fists. While he might not be the best of friends with the Iwatobi team, they were Rin’s friends, and Kou was like a little sister to him.

“Relax,” Silver said. “We have no plans to make contact with them unless it becomes necessary. Matsuoka has the right to tell whomever he likes, so long as they don’t try to make trouble for us, we’ll leave them alone.”

There was a strong possibility that he was lying, but Sousuke wanted to believe him. He didn’t want anyone else to be in danger because of Rin’s condition. After a moment of studying Silver, Sousuke nodded, and the tiger demanded his attention by brushing its head under his hand again. Despite himself, he smiled just a little at the cat’s persistence, and when he looked up again, Silver had returned to Shark’s side.

They both cast a glance at the door, their expressions serious, but once again, he couldn’t hear their words. Stepping forward, Sousuke rested a hand on the tiger’s back to keep himself grounded as it walked beside him. The conversation came to an abrupt halt when he stopped a few paces away from them, and fear for his boyfriend rushed to the forefront of his mind.

“What’s going on in there?” he asked. He moved towards the door, only to have Shark block his path, and he spoke against his better judgment. “Move.”

He almost expected the vampire to laugh in his face – even if Sousuke had more bulk to him, he wasn’t stupid enough to think that he could hold his own against someone with superhuman strength – but Shark simply shook his head. When Sousuke took another step, attempting to go around, a hand on his chest stopped him.

“You don’t want to go in there,” Shark said evenly, all traces of humor gone.

“Why not?” he demanded.

Before either of them could answer, the door opened, and Rin stalked out of the cabin. He didn’t even spare the other two vampires a glance as he strode past, his pace brisk. Sousuke stared at him, eyes wide. He’d never seen that look in Rin’s eyes, as if every trace of compassion and happiness had fled, and the blood staining his lips and clothes told the tale of what had happened behind that closed door.

“We’re leaving,” Rin said over his shoulder, pausing only long enough for Sousuke to catch up. Neither Shark nor Silver made any attempt to stop them.

Rin’s features were unreadable as they walked along the beach, his eyes sharp as he kept his gaze forward. Sousuke didn’t want to ask, and he didn’t want to hear Rin admit to what he’d done, but something had changed him once Sousuke had left him alone with the captive paramedic. He knew the man was dead, and he knew that Rin had killed him, but if he didn’t hear him say it aloud, then maybe he could pretend that it hadn’t happened.

“Are you okay?” he asked instead.

“No,” Rin said curtly. “I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

His words lacked their usual warmth, but Sousuke tried to ignore how he really needed that reassurance. He wasn’t sure of anything at the moment, least of all Rin’s current mindset. Sousuke opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly, telling himself again that there were some questions better left unanswered.

“I know,” Sousuke said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Rin said with a snort.

They continued in silence, and Sousuke continued to watch him out of the corner of his eye. He wished that the sound of the waves would be comforting, but all they did was grate on his nerves, stirring his anxiety until he couldn’t take it anymore. He knew Rin had killed people before – he’d even helped him deal with the fallout from the very first time he’d done it – but Rin had tried to live with alternatives to hunting so frequently. Sousuke had done everything he could to convince himself that if Rin was killing to survive, then he could accept that. This was different, though. This wasn’t killing to satisfy his hunger; it was purely an act of violence.

“Rin, we need to talk about this.”

“Like hell we do,” Rin said, stopping and turning to face him. “Don’t ask me to tell you about it, because believe me, you don’t want to know.”

“I’m pretty sure I already do,” Sousuke said. He met Rin’s gaze evenly, looking for just a tiny spark of humanity, a glimpse of the one he’d fallen in love with, but all he saw was the cold, calculating gaze of a predator. “Why did you have to kill him?”

“Why?” Rin echoed. His eyes narrowed, and Sousuke could see something inside him crack. Rin’s words came out as a snarl, rage coloring every syllable. “Because he killed me! I was still alive when they put me in that ambulance. He said himself that there was a chance they could have saved me, but he decided to kill me instead.” His lips twisted into a cruel caricature of a grin, and Sousuke suppressed a shudder. “So I returned the favor.”

He’d hoped for some sign of remorse, and Sousuke took a step back when he received the exact opposite. He knew damn well that Rin had a temper sometimes, and he was as volatile a person as he’d ever met, but he never thought that Rin would be capable of cold-blooded murder. This wasn’t the Rin he knew, and he had the sinking feeling that everything that had kept Rin human had died with the paramedic back in the cabin.

“Rin, listen to me,” he pleaded. Desperation and horror were clear in his tone, but he had to try to get through to him. “I get it. That’s a fucked up thing for someone to do to you, but did killing him change anything?”

“How the _fuck_ could you possibly ‘get it’?” Rin shot back. “You think you understand what this is like? Do you really think that you know how it feels to keep everyone at arm’s length just to lessen the risk of hurting them? So, you ‘get’ how some asshole deliberately killed me for the sake of some twisted experiment, and in return, I ripped his fucking throat out. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

Sousuke found himself retreating with each step Rin took towards him, fear gripping him as he started to realize just how far gone Rin was. He stumbled on his next step back, and Rin caught the front of his shirt, keeping him steady, but bringing them closer to give him a very close look at crimson-stained fangs.

“No, of course you don’t,” Rin said, his voice dangerously low. “So don’t fucking patronize me, Sousuke.”

Rin released his shirt and turned quickly, heading off down the beach, leaving Sousuke to stare after him. Part of him wanted to follow, but there was no telling what Rin might do if he pressed the issue. He stood and watched his retreating figure, hoping that he’d stop and turn around, but Rin kept walking. He was long gone before Sousuke turned away and started to find his way back to the train station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr - [ladylasa](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crazy, I just cannot bear  
> I'm living with something that just isn't fair
> 
> \- Crazy Train (Blizzard of Ozz - 1980)

Sorting out the myriad of thoughts and emotions proved to be impossible, and Sousuke paused to examine his surroundings before turning down the path to his right. The woods felt ominous around him, their shadows hiding dark secrets that were better left undiscovered, but he’d be damned if he’d let anyone know that it made him nervous. It didn’t help that he was pretty sure he’d seen this particular set of trees within the past half hour.

“You’ve walked past this spot three times now,” a frustratingly familiar voice said. Shark fell into step beside him, and Sousuke barely even spared him a glance. “You’re lost, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” he said through clenched teeth.

“So, you’re just walking in circles to blow off some steam?” Shark’s tone was incredulous. “I’ve read your file, you know, so I know that you couldn’t find your way out of a paper bag. Come on, I’ll walk you back to the train station.”

“I don’t need any more of your _help_ ,” he snapped. Acid dripped from the words, and he came to an abrupt stop as he turned to face the vampire. “Shouldn’t you be cleaning up the evidence instead of giving me shit?”

Sousuke was itching for a fight, even if it meant he might not walk away from this one. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was before the accident, and he wanted to get all of his anger and frustration out of his system in any way possible. Shark didn’t take the bait, though, which only made things worse.

“Oh, now you’re going to keep your mouth shut?” Sousuke stepped forward, glaring. “What happened to threatening to kill me? You and that bleach-blond asshole just come storming in here and fuck everything up, and you’re not even going to say a damn thing about it. You’re not fooling me at all. This is just some twisted game to you, but I’m done playing. I’m not just some fucking toy for you to push around, and neither is Rin. So, get out of my face, and stay the fuck away from us.”

Shark’s expression didn’t change – he looked almost bored with the outburst – and Sousuke’s breathing came in ragged gasps as his fists clenched. With each second that ticked by, every moment of silence, Sousuke’s rage burned hotter until it boiled over. He wasn’t going to get an answer, and he knew that words alone weren’t going to be enough to make his point.

He put everything he had into the swing of his fist, releasing all of his frustration with one ill-advised punch, but the part of him that knew it was a stupid move wasn’t even surprised when he missed. The next thing that he noted was that he was on his back, and a few seconds passed before pain began to register in his chest, his stomach, and the back of his left knee. His injured shoulder throbbed from the impact of his landing, and he absently wondered just how many times he’d been hit in the span of a couple of seconds.

Staring up at the sky, he let resignation sink in. Even if he’d had a chance of making it back to the dorms, he was a dead man now. When Shark blocked his view of the stars, he closed his eyes, waiting for the consequences of letting his emotions overrule common sense. Instead of that final strike, he heard an exaggerated sigh, and he cracked open one eye.

“Are you done?” Shark asked, arching a brow.  He dropped down to a crouch as Sousuke propped himself up on his elbows. They weren’t quite at eye level, but at least Shark wasn’t towering over him anymore. “You know what your problem is, Yamazaki?”

“I’m guessing you’re going to tell me.”

“You keep pretending that Matsuoka is still human,” he said. “He’s better at acting like it than some are, but even after you let him bite you, you still try to convince yourself that he’s the same as he was before he woke up dead. And tonight, you just got a glimpse of what he’s capable of, and it scared the shit out of you. All of a sudden, you can’t pretend anymore, but you don’t want to accept that this is how it is. He’s _not_ human, and this isn’t the last time he’s going to kill someone, so either get it through your head that _this_ is what he is now, or forget about him.”

Sousuke really, _really_ wanted to hit him, but his failed attempt only moments prior was still fresh in his mind. Instead, he settled for a glare. How the hell was he just supposed to accept that Rin could kill someone without putting much thought into it? If the alternative was moving on without him, though, then he wasn’t sure he could accept that either.

“If you think this is hard for you,” Shark continued, “imagine what it’s like for him. It’s not easy to keep all of those new instincts under control. Usually, the one you turns you is supposed to teach you how to deal with all of it, but he’s been on his own. So, keeping that in mind, he just found out that there was a chance he might have pulled through and recovered, and some asshole took that away from him. I’d be pretty fucking pissed too, and even if I were human, I’d probably want to kill the bastard responsible.”

Even more than he wanted to hit him, Sousuke really didn’t want to admit that he had a point. Maybe it didn’t matter, though. Rin had barely tried to look human when they parted, and Sousuke had to wonder if Rin even wanted to see him again. Another disturbing thought came to mind – maybe Rin didn’t want to pretend anymore; the events at the cabin could have been enough for him to accept how he would have to survive without feeling guilty about it. The notion was chilling, and it brought with it more questions.

“If someone like you doesn’t have anyone to teach them the rules, what happens then?” he asked, hoping that Shark would understand his meaning. “Do you get them in touch with someone who can help?”

“It’s not like we have some kind of vampire Craig’s List.” There was more amusement in his tone than annoyance this time. “Depends on the case, though. Silver and I don’t always get those jobs, but the general consensus is to find the one who turned them and make them take responsibility. Worst case scenario, both of them get put down. Sometimes you’re just too late to talk sense into the new vamp, and you don’t have much of a choice.”

The thought of Rin falling into the latter category made his stomach turn, and Sousuke found that he couldn’t meet Shark’s gaze. He wasn’t sure he could accept Rin’s new perspective – if it became a permanent change in demeanor – but losing him altogether would be even worse. Trying not to wince, he brought himself up to sit, scowling at a few stray leaves as if they’d personally offended him.

“The good news is that I don’t think that’s going to be the case with Matsuoka,” Shark continued. “Aside from learning that he has to clean up after himself, he hasn’t been too much trouble. After tonight, things are probably going to start going smoothly.”

At that point, Sousuke looked over at him again, barely hiding his relief. Then again, if these two psychos planned to eliminate Rin, they probably would have done it from the start. It didn’t hurt to be careful, though, and he was still of the opinion that the sooner they removed themselves from their lives, the better off everyone would be.

The remark from their initial conversation returned to the forefront of his mind. _Fifty bucks says that you might make it two more years before shit hits the fan._ Two years, and then they would end up calling everything off or Rin would kill him. Could he live with that kind of timeline? Probably, but even after what happened earlier, he wouldn’t want things to end there, which left one other alternative.

“How did it happen?” he asked before he could stop himself. “You told me before that you fell for a vampire and he killed you, so how does that work?”

* * *

 

Rin walked along the beach until his anger started to cool to a low simmer. He could have made it to the Olympics, could have competed on the world stage, but some sick fuck had to ruin all of that. This whole nightmare just kept getting worse, and there was no chance of waking up from it.

Worse than the knowledge that his life didn’t have to end with the car accident was the way Sousuke had looked at him after they’d left the cabin. It was as if he’d been staring at a stranger, as if Rin weren’t the person he thought he was, and maybe in the end, he wasn’t. He’d accidently killed people when he needed to feed, but what happened back there was different. That hadn’t been some hunting screw-up. He’d meant to kill that paramedic, and if he were faced with the choice again, he would do the same thing.

He stopped at that thought, reining in his emotions enough to examine it a little more closely. There was no remorse for ending that man’s life, and the implications of that realization were startling. Was it going to be like that whenever he killed someone from now on? Part of him hoped not, but the rest of him had the idea that it would make this whole mess easier. If it meant losing Sousuke in the process, then maybe he could at least try to shield him from any future violence to prevent that unfortunate outcome.

His thoughts traveled in six different directions at once before he let an expletive slip through his teeth. Sousuke probably didn’t even want to see him again. It wasn’t like he’d made any further efforts to follow when Rin had stormed off, but fear had been coming off of him in waves. He’d been _scared_ of Rin in that moment. Whether it was because of what he’d done or the possibilities of what he might do, Rin wasn’t sure, but fear was only a few steps away from hatred, and he definitely didn’t want Sousuke to hate him.

Staring out at the ocean, he tried to figure out how the hell he could fix this. There were some things that he couldn’t change, but he had to make things right with his boyfriend – if Sousuke even wanted to keep that title now. Maybe Rin had already fucked up his chances of finding a future together.

Solitude wasn’t helping. Turning away from the gentle pull of the waves, he made his way up the beach towards the town, and he pulled his hood up as he shoved his hands in the pockets. He didn’t anticipate running into anyone this late at night, but it never hurt to be careful. His steps carried him through Iwatobi without any real destination in mind, and he paused when he found himself in front of a long set of stairs leading up a hill. He knew this place without a doubt, had walked this path countless times as a child, and he hesitated for only a moment before beginning his ascent.

The house was dark, not that he’d expected otherwise at this time of night, but he made his way to the back door anyway. A stray thought reminded him of some of the western stories about vampires, and he found himself hoping that at least some of them were total bullshit. Finding the door unlocked, he carefully opened it, wincing at the sound of wood scraping. He encountered no invisible barrier preventing his entry, and he nudged off his shoes as he closed the door behind him. It seemed that his arrival had gone unnoticed, and finding his way in the dark was easy with his current level of eyesight.

He didn’t want to wake his friend, but at least being somewhere with another person in the vicinity helped a little. Rin ran a hand through his hair, letting a sigh escape between his teeth. The first thing he needed to do was wash off the blood, and he padded into the kitchen towards the sink. He managed to get his hands clean – although he wondered if he would ever consider them clean again – but he could only hope that he could wash most of it off of his face. His lack of a reflection certainly made things difficult sometimes.

* * *

 

Haru awoke to a thin sliver of sunlight shining directly across his eyes, and he ducked under the covers for a few more minutes. Turning over, he peeked out to check the clock, reluctantly climbing out of bed. At least he had enough time to lounge in the bath before Makoto showed up to pull him out for school. He had no interest in going today, but the promise of practice in the afternoon once classes had ended gave him the motivation to actually move.

Pulling on his jammers, he grabbed a towel and started towards the bathroom. One hand opened the door, while the other rubbed the effects of sleep from his eyes, but he stopped in the doorway as soon as he flicked on the light. Haru blinked a few times, confusion on his features as he stared at the occupant sitting on the floor with his back against the wall.

“You still keep the back door unlocked,” Rin said, not looking up.

“You’re in my bathroom.” The statement held all of the uncertainty that Haru managed to wipe off of his expression. Makoto had chided him often enough about leaving the door unlocked, and considering the recent events, he’d actually intended to follow the advice, but that didn’t mean that he’d actually remember to change his routine to include it.

“The sun was coming up,” Rin said. “And there aren’t any windows in here.”

Of course, the sun would pose a problem to Rin now. Haru nodded, but made no move to enter the room any further. As much as he wanted to soak in the bathtub, it would be weird to do so with Rin sulking against the wall.

“I’m kinda stuck in her for a while,” Rin added, finally looking up, and Haru actually took a moment to take in his appearance.

His clothes were stained with dried blood, and it seemed like he’d tried to get most of it off of the rest of him, but small streaks of it remained on his face and throat. Haru had the sinking feeling that none of it was Rin’s. He swallowed hard, gripping the doorframe to keep himself steady. Finding Rin in his house when he’d been human would have been strange enough, but things were infinitely more complicated now.

“Sousuke and I had a fight,” he continued as he looked down again, only to look up again when he heard a sharp intake of breath. Blinking once, he remembered the blood and shook his head quickly. “Not that kind of fight,” he said quickly.

Haru hoped that his relief wasn’t as obvious as it felt. Then again, if Rin had done something to Sousuke, then it was unlikely that he’d be sitting there calmly. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the details, but it was likely that it had something to do with whatever Rin had done to soil the outside of his clothes. None of those thoughts helped solve his current predicament, though.

“I need you to get out for a while,” Haru said.

“What did I just say?” Rin snapped. “The sun and I don’t exactly get along these days.”

Haru rolled his eyes. This was beyond inconvenient, more like decidedly annoying, but there was no way around it. Closing the door after he moved into the room, he focused on filling the tub, trying unsuccessfully to pretend that Rin wasn’t there. He could feel that gaze on him, staring at his back, and he hoped like hell that his friend wasn’t hungry.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m going to Tokyo,” Rin said once Haru was in the bath. “I don’t think there’s any way of fixing things, and this is going to be a fresh start.”

“You’re an idiot if you think he won’t follow you,” Haru said.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me.” A bitter laugh escaped him as he leaned his head back on the wall. “He was afraid of me, Haru. He didn’t come right out and say it, but he looked at me like I was a monster, like he didn’t even know me anymore.”

Haru said nothing, sinking lower into the water. He didn’t have a good answer anyway, and he’d learned a long time ago that it was usually best to just let Rin talk until he reached his own conclusions. This time proved to be no exception, but the more Rin talked, the more Haru found himself actually listening instead of tuning him out like he normally would. He soaked up every word, swallowed down the sickening twist of his stomach, and rested his head on one arm slung across the side of the tub.

Throughout it all, he watched Rin’s expressions as much as he listened to the tone of his words. The raw anger was apparent in the way his scarlet eyes flashed, the pupils narrowing to slits for a few seconds before returning to normal. Rin had always been one to wear his emotions openly, but there was much more to his expression of them now than there had been in the past. The one thing Haru had hoped for was missing; he kept waiting to hear or see some expression of regret, anything to tell him that his friend felt something other than satisfaction at taking someone’s life.

He wanted to understand, though. Rin had always set his sights on his future, even when they were children, and Haru could appreciate how devastated he’d been to learn that while the first part of the incident had been an accident, what happened afterward had been intentional. Did it warrant killing the one responsible? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t quite place himself in the mindset where he’d have to make that decision. That Rin had crossed that line was almost unthinkable; Rin may have had a temper, but Haru had never imagined him actually hurting anyone.

“Sounds like Makoto’s here.”

Rin’s voice pulled him from his silent contemplation, and he let out a sigh as he sank back into the water. If he hadn’t wanted to go to school earlier, he sure as hell didn’t want to go now. Footsteps echoed in the hall, but neither of them moved, and Haru swore that Rin almost laughed when Makoto stared at him in surprise after opening the bathroom door.

“Rin?” Makoto’s voice was slightly higher than usual, and he swallowed hard when he took a good look at the state of Rin’s attire. “What-”

“Don’t ask,” Haru said, cutting off the question. He looked over at Rin, ignoring how Makoto was edging closer to the bathtub. “We’ll cover the windows in the guest room and the hallway.”

“Thanks, Haru.” His appreciation was clear in his tone, and he managed a small smile. This was why he’d come to Haru’s house to begin with; Haru would listen without voicing judgment, and that was exactly what Rin needed. “I guess you two should get going.”

* * *

 

The sounds of splashing water told him that he was heading in the right direction, and Sousuke rounded the corner to see the fence around the swimming pool. He felt like shit – dark circles under his eyes made it obvious that he hadn’t slept – and anxiety had kept him from satisfying his normally voracious appetite. Shark had given him a lot to think about, but right now, his thoughts were elsewhere.

He didn’t have to wait long for practice to end, but every minute that passed only made him worry more. Trying not to think about how this might not even give him any answers, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and leaned against the building. He heard voices approach and looked up as the group walked out onto the sidewalk.

“Haru,” he said sharply, earning him the undivided attention of the whole team. Even his scowl lacked enough bite to deter the little blond hurricane and their butterfly swimmer. “We need to talk.”

He received a curt nod, but Haru’s remark to the others was too quiet for him to hear. Whatever he’d said was enough for them to start home without him, and Sousuke waited until he was sure they were out of earshot to explain his presence.

“Rin didn’t come back last night,” he said. “I thought you might have an idea of where he might have gone.”

“He’s at my house,” Haru said after a moment of hesitation.

The stab of jealously that cut through him was completely irrational, but it stung just the same. Falling into step beside Haru, Sousuke easily kept pace with him. He didn’t press for more information, and it didn’t seem like Haru intended to say anything more unless asked, so silence stretched between them. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as awkward as he would have thought. Sousuke wasn’t one for mindless chatter either, but he needed to know what he was walking into before they arrived.

“He told you what happened?” he asked. There was a quiet hum of acknowledgement as Haru looked out over the ocean, and he took that as an affirmative. It was enough for now.

Once they reached the house, Sousuke left his shoes by the door and took a quick look at the interior – not that he’d really remember it later; his thoughts were focused elsewhere. He watched Haru disappear into another room, and waited with limited patience until he returned. There was no point in wandering through the place without any direction.

“Upstairs,” Haru said as he reappeared. “Second door on the left. Tell him that I put his clothes in the wash.” As Sousuke nodded and started towards the stairs, he heard one last piece of advice. “Be careful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr - [ladylasa](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now I've met your honesty  
> You are here and I am free  
> Broken chains have fallen all around, yeah"
> 
> \- Steal Away (the Night) (Blizzard of Ozz - 1980)

His anger had long since faded into grief, and Rin let it flow out in streaks of crimson down his face and staining the pillow. He mourned the loss of everything he had planned – his future, his dreams, his boyfriend, and his very life – until there was nothing left but a cold ache around the still heart within his chest. At some point, exhaustion and the fatigue of the daylight hours set in, and he dozed on and off in the darkness of the guest room while the house remained silent around him.

Awareness started to return with the quiet creak of the door opening, and he remained still as he listened to the sound of footsteps on the floor. They were slow, cautious, and uncertain, but Rin knew their owner as soon as he caught the familiar, comforting scent. He didn’t move, though, his mind racing as his pulse would have been if he were he still alive. Why would Sousuke come to see him in the middle of the day? Was he really that angry that he couldn’t wait to end things between them?

He felt the dip of the bed as Sousuke sat but refused to open his eyes. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, he could postpone the inevitable. The rapid pounding of Sousuke’s heartbeat echoed in his ears, testing his resolve, and his fingers clenched into the sheet beneath the blanket as the seconds continued to drag on without interruption. Finally, he couldn’t wait any longer, and he slowly cracked open his eyes.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” Sousuke said, his voice subdued. He hesitated for a moment, looking everywhere except for the dull glow of scarlet surrounding slitted pupils. “I can’t really see shit in here, Rin. Can I turn on a light?”

“Do what you want.” He was surprised that he managed to keep his voice steady, even if it did sound a little sullen, and he closed his eyes again as Sousuke flicked on the light on the bedside table. Feeling Sousuke’s gaze on him, he realized how he looked, and glanced up at him again, his eyes returning to normal.

Sousuke found himself at a loss for words. The dark stains on Rin’s face and the pillow beneath his head told the story well enough. Rin had needed him the night before, had needed his comfort and understanding, and Sousuke had turned away from him. Maybe he had been unfair – Rin wasn’t human, so he had to keep that in mind when it came to understanding his actions – but he was having trouble reconciling a cold-blooded murder with someone who cried at crappy romance movies. There was the obvious moral objection to blatantly killing someone, but was his own sense of morality more important than his feelings for Rin?

As he reached down to brush his thumb across Rin’s cheek, which only smeared the blood instead of wiping it away, he knew the answer. Morals be damned, he’d make that sacrifice for him. He couldn’t turn away again, not when Rin needed him, and even if it meant condoning murder, Rin was worth it.

“Are you okay?” He knew that Rin wasn’t – neither of them was, really – but he had to ask. Everything had changed in the blink of an eye, and they were left picking up the pieces of shattered dreams. There was no way that they could be okay now, and Sousuke wasn’t sure how long it would take for them to even come close.

“I just keep asking why,” Rin said, crimson tears welling in his eyes again. “I know I’ve been an asshole over the years, but how did I deserve this? Why would someone do something to deliberately fuck up someone’s life?”

Nothing he could say would make this any better, so Sousuke reached over with his other hand to take Rin’s. His own future was shot the moment he wrecked his shoulder, but Rin had so much ahead of him. Knowing that it had still been possible even after losing a fight to a car had to be killing him, and it broke Sousuke’s heart.

“I know you think I’m a monster,” Rin said, looking away. “I guess I _do_ deserve that. Maybe it’s best that I’m going to Tokyo. You don’t need to stay caught up in this any more than you have been.”

“You’re wrong,” Sousuke said. “And you’re an idiot if you really believe all of that.”

“I saw the way you looked at me last night.” There was no accusation in the words, just resignation.

“I was scared.” It took a lot to admit it, but Sousuke didn’t want to hide anything. “You were pissed – and you had every right to be – but I wasn’t sure if you were still yourself. I didn’t want to lose you again.”

Rin was quiet again, digesting the words as he tried to believe them. This was far from the first time he’d hurt the people around him, and he was brought back to the events of the prior year, to all of the times he’d lashed out at others out of anger and pain. Part of him wanted to take that route again. It would be easier for everyone if he just pushed them away and disappeared to Tokyo; he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting Sousuke again or getting hurt in return.

“I’m not afraid anymore,” Sousuke said, breaking into his thoughts. “I guess it took getting some sense knocked into me to realize it, but I’m not going to lie to myself anymore. I know what you are, and even if that means that I have to put my morals on the back burner, I can’t imagine never seeing you again.”

Rin sat up then, studying his features for any indication that he might not mean it but found none. Tears brimmed at his eyes again, but he choked them back long enough to consider one detail of Sousuke’s words.

“Who?” he asked. “ _Who_ knocked sense into you?” When Sousuke looked away, Rin clutched at his shirt, using it as a tether to keep his emotions in check as the desire to rip apart whoever dared to hurt Sousuke started to rise within him. “Who?” he asked again, the word little more than a growl. “Sousuke…”

“Rin, I’m fine,” he assured him. It was enough to placate him just a little, and Sousuke rested a hand on his. “I might have gotten turned around on my way back to the station, and I ran into Shark.” Rin bristled at that, but he didn’t interrupt. “I didn’t like what he had to say, so I took a swing at him. He knocked me on my ass, but that was it. I threw the first punch, so don’t start planning his murder, okay?”

Sousuke watched him relax, and he noted the look of guilt that settled on his features. Pulling him close, he rubbed soothing circles on Rin’s back, and the tears started to fall again. It started off slow, just a few wet drops, but then everything Rin had thought he’d emptied earlier came rushing out of him. Through it all, Sousuke held him close, letting his pain spill out in choked sobs.

When Rin’s breathing finally slowed and then stopped altogether, he started to feel a little better. This was what he’d wanted when he’d had his breakdown earlier in the day; now that Sousuke was with him, the emptiness hurt a little less. Leaning back, he wiped his face and looked up. There was no judgement in Sousuke’s eyes, and that rare, gentle smile was like a balm against the raw wounds of the truth.

“I fucked up your shirt,” Rin said, trying to ease the situation into something a little less awkward.

“Yeah, well, it’s not the first time,” Sousuke said quietly. “You okay?”

Rin shook his head. He wasn’t going to lie and pretend that he was fine; he was very far from okay, but it bearable now. Maybe as time went on, he might be close to accepting of his situation, but it was still too fresh. As Sousuke brushed a strand of hair out of his face, he leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. The peace only lasted a few more seconds before his eyes snapped open and he turned his head sharply towards the door.

“They’re all here,” he said before Sousuke could ask. “Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei.” He paused, listening. “And Gou.” He was quiet again, picking up the excited chatter downstairs as his brow furrowed before his eyes widened in near panic. “Shit. They know I’m here, and they’re coming up to talk. Sousuke, I can’t… not like this.”

Sousuke leaned back enough to get a good look at him, and he had to agree. Rin’s face and bare chest were streaked with blood – some of it dry, some of it fresh from recent tears – and he could only imagine how the Iwatobi guys would react to a sight like that. Standing, he zipped up his jacket and hurried out into the hall. Thankfully, Haru was the first one up the stairs.

“He needs to clean up,” Sousuke said quietly. “You know how it is when he’s upset.”

“We’ll give you a few minutes.” There was a flash of worry in his eyes as he glanced to the door briefly. “There are towels in the bathroom. Let me know when he’s ready.”

* * *

 

“Rin-chan!”

Even his quick reflexes didn’t fully prepare him for the blond ball of energy that launched itself at him, but Rin managed to catch the human projectile before it did too much damage. The blanket was pooled around his waist, and he managed a smile when Nagisa hugged him tightly. It hadn’t occurred to him just how much he’d missed all of his friends, and seeing them all together, gathered in the guest room around him made him wish that he had more time before he had to pack up and leave.

“Why haven’t you come to see us?” Nagisa demanded, leaning back. “You let us think you were really dead. That wasn’t nice!” His hurt expression only lasted a few seconds before a grin returned and he hugged him again. “I’m glad you’re not really dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Rin said. “It’s just been a lot to deal with, and I didn’t want to make it harder for you guys.”

“Is it true?” Nagisa asked, looking up at him again. “Are you really a-”

“Nagisa, that’s enough,” Haru said sharply.

“It’s fine,” Rin said. “Yeah, it’s true. That’s why I haven’t been around. I didn’t want to hurt any of you while I tried to get a handle on this thing. I’m okay, though. Promise.”

“Can I see your fangs?” The tone of the question was so innocent that the words escaped Rin’s comprehension while Nagisa watched him, waiting for an answer.

“Nagisa, that’s rude,” Makoto said quickly. “You can’t just ask him something like that.”

“I agree,” Rei added. “Although, considering that vampires aren’t supposed to exist, it’s a logical request, despite the impoliteness of it. It is, however, not something that you should ask during the first few minutes of speaking to him.”

Understanding hit him, and Rin stared down at Nagisa for a moment, who didn’t look the least bit discouraged by the reprimands. When Sousuke started forward, probably to remove Nagisa from the bed, Rin motioned to him that it was fine.

“Maybe later, okay?” he said. “What are you guys doing here, anyway?”

“We wanted to see you before you left,” Gou said. “We’ve covered the windows downstairs if you want to come down and visit for a little while. Then, we can go back to Samezuka with you to see you off!”

His eyes widened as he looked around to each of them, and then he squeezed his eyes shut to keep from crying again. It had been an emotional roller-coaster over the past twenty-four hours, and he was having trouble keeping himself together. Sousuke’s hand rested on his shoulder, and Rin didn’t have to look to know the look that he must have given Nagisa, because the weight on his lap vanished.

“Haru said your clothes are dry, so I’ll bring them up, and we can meet the others downstairs,” Sousuke said.

* * *

 

It wasn’t until they’re getting ready to leave that Rin noticed the boxes by the door, and he watched as Haru, Makoto, and Sousuke each took one while his sister opened the front door to let them all out. As usual, Haru didn’t bother to lock it until Makoto reminded him.

“What’s all that?” Rin asked.

“I gathered up some of your things from your room,” Gou said. “Mom hasn’t gone through anything yet, and I thought you might like some of it for your new place when you get to Tokyo.” Her smile was genuine, but he could see the sadness behind it. “You’ll keep in touch this time, right?”

“You’ll be asking me to stop calling every night,” he laughed. Reaching over, he took the box from Sousuke – who immediately replaced it with Haru’s – and glanced inside while they walked, pulling out the small shark plushie. “Really? You had to pack this, too?”

“It was your favorite,” Gou said.

Her smile brightened again, and the walk to the station wasn’t nearly as somber as any of them had expected. It wasn’t as if they’d never see each other again, Rin realized. Makoto and Haru had already made plans to study in the city, and Sousuke would be joining him after graduation. He just had to get through the next couple of months on his own, but phone calls and Skype sessions would make it bearable.

It didn’t take long for him to pack the rest of his belongings once they reached the dorms, and he was glad for the chance to hang out with them before his escorts eventually came to collect him. Rin tried not to think about it, forcing himself to focus on the present while he could. Leaning back against Sousuke on the bottom bunk, they shared stories of races, of joint practices, and their love for the sport that had brought them all together.

“Rin,” Haru said after a few beats of silence. “Swim with me again before you leave.”

“A race would be pretty unfair now,” Rin said. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“You haven’t been in the water since you’ve come back,” Sousuke said. “Come on, get your suit on, and let’s go.”

Rin only hesitated for another moment before his lips pulled back in a wide grin, accompanied by a laugh. Of course, he had to shoo his sister out of the room so that he could change, but he did so quickly, and the group reconvened in the corridor. They had enough sense to keep their voices down as they made their way to the natatorium, and Rin had pulled his hood up over his head just in case they ran into anyone, but their path was clear.

The second he dove into the water, Rin couldn’t imagine why he would deny himself the joy of swimming. Maybe because it was so closely associated with the dream that would never become reality, and he’d fooled himself into thinking that distancing himself from the water would make everything better. He should have known that wasn’t the case.

It was almost as if everything were normal, as if Rin’s world hadn’t been turned upside down with the screech of car tires against pavement. For a few, peaceful minutes, he allowed himself to be content. Haru was floating on his back, Nagisa was attempting to dunk Rei without much success, Makoto and Sousuke were giving each other swimming advice, while Gou watched from the edge with only her feet in the water. As he burned the image into his memory, Rin could think of no better way to spend his last few hours with his friends.

A wave splashed over him, soaking him further, and he turned to a laughing Nagisa, his grin returning as he darted forward. Even Rei couldn’t hide a laugh when Rin tossed the blond a few feet away with another splash, and soon it was a free-for-all as they all took turns trying to push each other under water. Haru eventually joined in when Rin swam by and pulled him under, and it was a wonder that no one at the school came to investigate the noise coming from the pool.

“They seem to be having a good time.”

Gou looked up when she heard the voice a few feet behind her, and her eyes widened at the pair watching the boys enjoying themselves. Her brother’s description left her with no doubt of their identities, and she scrambled to her feet, trying for a nervous smile. When Silver spoke, she recognized his voice as the one that gave the observation.

“I think we can give him a few more minutes,” he said.

“You’re here for my brother.” It wasn’t a question; she knew their intentions. “You’re going to make sure he’s okay, right? You’re not just going to leave him out there without any help, are you?”

“He’ll be fine,” Shark assured her. “He’s smarter than he gives himself credit for, and we’re not going through all of this trouble just to let him fuck it up in the end.”

The familiar voices and the sudden scent of fear stopped Rin in his tracks, and he turned sharply to see his sister conversing with the two vampires. Holding Nagisa at bay with one hand, he ducked under the water and sped across the pool to the side, pulling himself out quickly and moving to stand between the pair and his sister. He could feel her stepping to the side enough to see around him, but he kept one arm out to keep her from getting any closer to them.

“You’re early,” he said flatly.

He heard the sounds of the others climbing out of the pool behind him, and Sousuke stopped beside him with the Iwatobi team gathering around Gou. It was different facing them this time; with his friends beside him – even though they were human – he didn’t feel quite so alone. The knowledge gave him a bit more confidence.

“It’s almost midnight, Matsuoka,” Silver said. “That was our arranged time. When you weren’t in your room, this was the next place to look.”

While he spoke, Nagisa started forward, glaring at them with his hands on his hips. Sousuke caught his shoulder and shook his head, but he was undeterred. Choosing a different tactic, he summoned his most innocent smile and looked up at the pair.

“You can’t take him away yet,” he said. “Rin-chan promised to show me his fangs. You’re like him, too, aren’t you? Are you going to show me yours too? I’ve never met a vampire before – except Rin-chan, but we didn’t really get to see him until today. Are you really taking him to Tokyo, or is that just an excuse so we don’t follow him?”

Rin was sure that Nagisa hadn’t even stopped to breathe in between sentences, and the momentary confusion in green and grey eyes was more than a little satisfying. Sousuke stifled a laugh beside him, but he kept a firm grip to keep the blond from moving any closer. Silver and Shark exchanged a glance before returning their attention to Nagisa, and any humor Rin had found in the situation instantly vanished.

“Did he, now?” Silver asked casually. “Then let him show you. I don’t think you’d want to see ours. We’re not quite as nice as your friend is.”

“That’s bullshit,” Shark said, elbowing him. “I’m a fucking joy to be around and you know it.” He flashed a grin as he looked at Nagisa. “You’re not fooling anyone, kid. I know a trouble maker when I see one.”

“Oh my GOD,” Nagisa said suddenly. “You two are totally married, aren’t you?”

It was Gou’s turn to snicker, and the oppressive atmosphere of fearful anticipation shifted. Rin couldn’t relax completely, not when his sister was still in the same room with those two serial killers, but he had the feeling that they were in no real danger.

“We’re partners,” Silver clarified.

“Yeah, they’re a couple,” Rin said with a smirk. “As fun as this is, we need to hit the showers unless you want to smell chlorine all the way to Tokyo.”

There was only one problem – his sister. He could keep an eye on his friends in the locker room, but going to shower meant leaving Gou out here, and he wasn’t okay with that. Any acceptable alternative escaped him, though, and he was about to just forgo his shower and deal with the chemical smell when his sister pulled him aside.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, continuing quickly before he could argue. “They’re a little intimidating, but I don’t think they’d hurt me. They came here to help you, so why would they do something that they know would keep you from going with them?”

“Damn your logic,” he muttered. “Fine, but if either of them does anything that makes you uncomfortable, scream as loud as you can. It’ll let me know that you need me, and it’ll hurt like hell.”

“Got it.” She beamed up at him, and Rin gave his escorts a warning glare that said exactly what he’d do if either of them tried to lay a hand on her. Another few seconds of indecision passed before he finally turned and followed into the locker room, glancing over his shoulder every few steps. Once he’d turned the corner, Gou faced Silver and Shark, her expression serious. “I want to know exactly what you have planned for him when you get to Tokyo. So, start talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr - [ladylasa ](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I say goodbye to romance, yeah  
> Goodbye to friends, I tell you  
> Goodbye to all the past  
> I guess that we'll meet  
> We'll meet in the end"
> 
> "Goodbye to Romance" (Blizzard of Ozz, 1980)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for just disappearing for months on end. I needed a breather after NaNoWriMo last year, and then work has just been crazy busy. On top of that, I'm gearing up for convention season, where I'll have vendor tables for my book. Hopefully, this chapter will make up for my absence. Thanks for sticking with it, and for being patient with me.

In retrospect, trying to stare down two vampires who were much bigger and deadlier than her probably wasn’t a smart idea. Gou didn’t back down, though, and her hands rested on her hips as she waited for an answer. If she could keep a group of teenage boys in line, then she could do this. It helped that her brother would be able to hear the entire exchange, but she’d learned how to stand on her own without having to run to him for help.

For a few tense moments, the pair simply stared at her, breaking their silence to exchange a few words in a language she didn’t recognize, and she started to wonder if she’d just made the biggest mistake in what might be her rapidly shortening life. She couldn’t let fear get the better of her, and she schooled her expression into the one she wore when trying to get her team to cooperate with the training regimens she’d provided.

“You’re a lot like your brother,” Shark said, a grin spreading on his pale features. “Although, you seem to have a bit more nerve than he does.”

Gou let out a breath, trying to hide the relief that settled over her. There was something to his tone, though; he almost sounded impressed. She chalked that up to a point in her favor. If her attitude wasn’t going to get her killed, then she could afford to push a little more.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” she said.

“He’ll be fine,” Silver assured her. “We’re not going through all of this trouble to help him just to throw him into a new city on his own. We have a few connections there who will keep an eye on things and assist when needed, while we tie up a few other loose ends.”

“We’re getting a job set up for him, and he has an apartment waiting already,” Shark added. “It’s easier for our kind to blend in if we’re in a city. This isn’t about taking him away from friends and family – even if that’s usually the smartest way to handle the transition – but he needs to have a chance to live without always looking over his shoulder.”

“So you really are looking out for his best interests?” Gou was still a little skeptical, but their explanation helped. There were many times over the years when she’d worried about Rin; maybe that’s just how it would always be between them. “Is that why you came here?”

“About that,” Shark said. “We actually came out here to see if we needed to kill him. Turns out, he just needed a kick in the ass to start moving in the right direction.”

She paled a little at that. His remark had been so _casual_ that it sent a chill up her spine, and she couldn’t help the widening of her eyes. It served as a stark reminder that these two were very different than her brother, even if they were the same species. _Is he going to be like this after a few years?_ The thought made her heart sink, and she almost convinced herself that Rin would never go to the same lengths that she thought the pair in front of her would.

“I can’t say I don’t appreciate that you decided not to kill me,” Rin said dryly, still rubbing a towel on his damp hair as he joined them. “That’s not something you needed to tell my little sister, so maybe next time you can leave that part out.”

“She asked a question,” Silver said. “We answered. It’s as simple as that. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes. Make sure you’re ready.”

The siblings watched them leave, and the tension in Rin’s shoulders seemed to fade once they were out of sight. Gou had gone quiet, and he pulled himself from his own thoughts to look at her. Her gaze was drawn to the floor, but when she felt her brother’s stare, she looked up at him.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” she asked, searching his face. “You’re not going to disappear again, are you?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said. Although he tried to sound confident, his voice wasn’t as steady as he’d hoped, and he knew instantly that she could see right through him. “I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I promise I’ll keep in touch this time. Just keep an eye on everyone for me. For some reason, they listen to you.”

As he finished speaking, he heard the rest file out of the locker room, and both he and Gou turned to watch them. Their earlier mood had faded into a somber atmosphere as the reality of the situation came crashing back into focus. Rin had to leave; there was no avoiding it now.

They headed up to his and Sousuke’s room in silence – even Nagisa couldn’t find a way to break it – and Rin watched them help gather up his things to carry downstairs. He found it impossible to keep his emotions in check, but he didn’t realize that crimson tears were streaking down his face until Sousuke gently brushed them away.

“Can you give us a moment?” Sousuke asked, glancing over his shoulder at the Iwatobi team.

“We’ll meet you downstairs,” Makoto said.

Ushering them out of the room, Makoto offered a smile that didn’t reach his eyes before quietly closing the door. Once they were alone, Sousuke pulled Rin close, holding him until he felt like he could face his future again. He didn’t envy Rin’s position – walking away from everything and everyone he knew, leaving for his own safety and that of his friends – but he couldn’t let him think that he was in this alone.

“It’s only a couple more months,” Sousuke said. “It’ll fly by, and I’ll be out there with you before you know it.”

Rin managed a small nod, but didn’t lift his gaze as he stepped back, reaching down to grab his duffel bag. The unfairness of it all continued to gnaw at his insides, hollowing him out until he wasn’t sure if it was even worth taking this trip. Part of him wanted to use it as a means to offer Sousuke a way out, a chance to continue his life without having a monster beside him, but his own selfishness kept him silent.

“Do you…” Sousuke started, his voice trailing off before he found it again. “Do you need some for the road?”

Confused finally chased away the misery on Rin’s face, and he looked up at Sousuke to try to figure out what he meant. It became clear when Sousuke turned his head, pulling down the edge of his shirt collar, but the firm set of his jaw betrayed his unease with the open offer.

“I’ll be fine,” Rin said. “We should go before those two assholes come and drag us downstairs.”

He didn’t wait for a response. As he passed Sousuke on his way to the door, he couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze again, and he waited only long enough for his boyfriend to follow before starting off down the hall. Rin stayed silent until they stepped outside, finally lifting his head to observe the group waiting for them.

His friends from Iwatobi stood apart from the two vampires, who seemed occupied with their own private discussion, but that failed to discourage Nagisa from trying to approach them every few seconds only to have Rei or Makoto block his path. With a sigh, Rin shook his head and started towards them, schooling his expression into something that almost masked the feeling of his too-still heart sinking deeper and deeper.

As he stopped between his friends and his escorts, he tossed his bag into the back seat of the car and turned to face the Iwatobi team. Nagisa edged around Rei to rush over, throwing his arms around Rin in a tight hug, and the others joined him only seconds later. It was too much, more than he could handle without breaking down completely, and Rin didn’t trust himself to speak when he gently untangled himself from them. Even without Makoto’s ability to read Haru like a book, Rin could see the messaged that his eyes conveyed – _be careful, don’t forget us_.

“I guess this is it,” he said, hating the way his voice nearly cracked with the effort to sound like his world wasn’t falling apart. “I’ll text you guys when we get there, and I’ve already set up Skype on my laptop. Take care of yourselves.”

He turned to find himself face to face with Sousuke, and the concern in those teal eyes was obvious. Rin forced a small smile, trying to convince him that he would be okay, but he could tell that Sousuke wasn’t buying it.

“Matsuoka,” Shark said. “We need to get moving.”

“It’s a long drive to Tokyo,” Sousuke said. “Call me when you get settled.”

Rin could only nod, and he resisted the urge to bury his face in the front of Sousuke’s shirt, knowing that if he gave in, they would have to physically force him to get into the vehicle. With a smile that spoke volumes for both of them, Sousuke held out his fist, and Rin almost matched his expression when he gently bumped it with his own.

Watching him walk away was almost too much, and Sousuke didn’t move from the spot until after the taillights had vanished in the distance. Rin’s departure left a hole aching in his chest, a dull, throbbing pain that he hid behind a scowl when he noticed that Silver had stayed behind. Ignoring the vampire, he turned towards the others and motioned them forward.

“Come on. I’ll walk you to the station.”

Sousuke decline to join them in their chatter on the way, hanging back just a little bit so as not to risk getting pulled into it. For the most part, no one tried to force him into conversation, but he caught Haru glancing back at him every so often, and he could have sworn that he saw concern in those blue eyes.

They reached the station far too soon for his liking; the thought of returning to an empty dorm filled him with longing. He wanted Rin to be waiting there for him, wearing that sharp grin and welcoming him back into his embrace. Knowing that he’d have to wait months for that to become a reality again tore at his heart, and he lowered his gaze as he mumbled a goodbye. The Iwatobi team had never been his close friends – they were Rin’s – and he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t see much of them either after they boarded the train.

“Sousuke.” Haru’s voice caught him by surprise, and he looked up again to see the other standing before him, the rest of the group waiting patiently on the platform to give them some privacy. “Rin would be upset if I didn’t make sure you were doing alright.”

He blinked, and it took a moment for him to understand the meaning behind the words. It was obvious that no matter how hard he tried to hide it, he was definitely not okay at that moment. There wasn’t much to say, but then he understood, and a quiet laugh found its way past his lips.

“I guess we’re stuck with each other then,” Sousuke said.

Satisfied, Haru turned to join the others, and Sousuke waited until their train had pulled away before starting back towards Samezuka. He’d made it two blocks when a figure silently fell into step beside him, and a quick glance to his right had him scowling as he shoved his hands into this pockets.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I’m just making sure you find your way back without any trouble,” Silver said.

“I don’t need a fucking chaperone.”

“Of course not,” Silver agreed. “But you and I both know that as long as Matsuoka is convinced that you’re unharmed, he’s more likely to remain cooperative. This isn’t just for your sake.”

He should have known. Of course this guy wasn’t just looking out for him; he was just a useful tool to keep Rin in line. Sousuke’s hands clenched into fists in his pockets, and his scowl deepened as he started walking faster. Silver matched his pace easily, despite the difference in their heights, and Sousuke realized that he wasn’t going to get rid of the vampire that easily.

“You had some interesting questions for Shark,” Silver said after a few more minutes. “You should really think about a decision like that before you make it. There are plenty of years of life ahead of you; it would be a shame for you to just throw it away.”

Sousuke stopped in his tracks, turning sharply to face him as the urge to punch him in the face grew. He’d learned his lesson the hard way with Shark, though, so his hands remained in his pockets as he fixed the vampire with a glare.

“I don’t remember asking you for advice,” he said evenly. “It’s not like what I do with my life is any of your fucking business.”

“At the moment, it is,” Silver countered. “Matsuoka has shown a willingness to learn, and he didn’t ask to become what he is. You, on the other hand, don’t seem to know what you’re considering. I’m willing to bet that the only reason you asked Shark about it was because you think it’s the only way for you and Rin to stay together. It probably is, but there’s more to it than that.”

“So is this where you pull the ‘poor pitiful me’ card and start telling me about how horrible it is to be immortal? About how you just _hate_ that you can be with the person you love forever?” Sousuke shook his head and turned to start walking again. “Go fuck yourself.” Within a few steps, he found himself face to face with Silver. “Move.”

“Then stop posturing and listen,” Silver said, matching his tone. “If you follow through on this idea, then you’re going to stay on our radar, too. A large part of my job is taking down creatures who don’t know how to keep themselves from doing stupid shit that could expose all of us. There isn’t a rule book, but there are things that are generally considered good practices. If you’re not willing to listen and learn, then I’ll put you down before you can even think about asking Matsuoka about your discussion with Shark. Do I make myself clear?”

“I thought I was your collateral to keep Rin in line,” Sousuke said, eyes narrowing as Silver responded with a smirk.

“Do you really think I’ve never lied before?”

* * *

 

Rin stared out the window as the landscape passed at a blur. They’d be cutting it close to sunrise, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Tears left streaks of crimson on his face, falling unchecked as his head rested against the glass, but at least his escort hadn’t mentioned it. Shark had been silent throughout the first two hours of the drive, and Rin was glad for that, at least. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to let anyone see just how much leaving hurt, and he sighed as another set of tears escaped his eyes.

“It’s only a few months,” Shark said, finally breaking the silence. Rin wanted to throw something at him. “Besides, not like you’ll be out of touch the whole time.” He reached back to rummage around in the cooler in the backseat, retrieving a pair of bottles, and offered one to Rin. “We found a decent enough apartment for you. You’ll feel right at home in no time.”

Ignoring him, Rin continued to stare out into the darkness. While Sousuke was definitely one reason he dreaded going to Tokyo, there was more to it. He couldn’t even try to explain what was going on in his head, or what had been plaguing his mind ever since he’d woken up in a coffin. It wasn’t like a hired gun would understand.

“So, it’s not just about the boyfriend,” Shark continued. When Rin still refused to even look at him or open the bottle, he pressed further. “We still have a few hours ahead of us. Moping the entire way isn’t going to help anything.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Rin mumbled. “I don’t see why you’d care anyway. I’m just a job for you.”

“Suit yourself,” he said, taking his hands off the wheel for a second to open his own bottle. “It’s not like I just woke up one day and thought ‘hey, I think I’d like to kill people for a living’. We all had lives before this. Sometimes shit happens and you have to make some changes.”

“What did you do?” Rin asked, finally turning his head to regard him. “Before all of this, I mean.”

Shark hesitated, masking his momentary indecision by taking a long pull from the bottle. His personal life was generally off limits, but he was the one who’d opened the door, so it was only fair that he give the kid an answer.

“Steeplechase jockey,” he said. “At least until I got too tall for most trainers to take me seriously. My main trainer brought the group of us to Germany for some races, and I fucked up and got myself suspended.” He paused to take another sip, trying to decide just how much to share. “I didn’t take it too well and went off to clear my head. Ended up getting shot, and that’s how I met Silver.”

“He _shot_ you?” Rin asked.

“Not fatally,” Shark said. “Got me in the shoulder. I wasn’t his target, but it happened. He got his sister to come out there and heal me up, but the bullet’s still in there. We talked about digging it out after he turned me, but I guess I’m a little sentimental about it.” He shrugged and continued. “I figured out what he was, and you know that wasn’t good. He gave me two options – they could find a way to wipe my memory, or he’d be watching me to make sure I didn’t let it slip that I knew about him. Didn’t really like either of those, and I guess I finally figured that I wasn’t going to be a jock for much longer anyway, so I gave him an option three.”

“You asked to go with him,” Rin said. Shark’s nod was confirmation, and Rin looked down. “I was going to be an Olympic swimmer, like my dad wanted to be. Everything was set for me to go train in Australia again after graduation, and then I got hit by that car. Everything that I worked my ass off for is gone, and I can’t get it back.”

Fresh scarlet tears streamed again, and Rin tried to curl in on himself once he voiced the thoughts that had been tearing up his insides ever since he’d realized what his situation meant for his future. He would never stand on the world’s stage with Haru in the next lane with him, and he’d never even get to see his mother again, the woman who had lost both her husband and her son.

“I wonder what he’d think if he could see what I am now.” Rin’s voice was a hoarse whisper, breaking with the words as he imagined the disappointment on his father’s face. He didn’t even look up when he spoke again. “You’re going to find the ones who did this, right?”

“That’s the plan,” Shark said. He’d grown serious as they’d talked, all traces of his earlier humor gone. “Silver’s following a few leads back near Iwatobi while I get you to Tokyo. I’ll be heading back tomorrow night to help.”

“And you’re going to let me know when you do find them?” Rin asked.

“Matsuoka, listen.” His voice held a warning edge. “Don’t get any ideas in your head about revenge. That kind of thing never ends well.”

“I know,” Rin said, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Just make sure no one else has to go through this. I don’t want anyone else to lose their chance at achieving their dream.”

Shark nodded, but said nothing more. He could admit that it was a fucked up bit of luck that Matsuoka had found himself at this crossroads, and there was no way to change it, but he could do his best to make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else. Tracking down monsters and eliminating them were all in a night’s work for him and Silver.

“The mercenary gig isn’t too bad,” he said. “Pays well, decent benefits. There’s the downside of people shooting at you, but hell, we’re immortal and we heal fast, so it’s not that big of a problem.”

“Not interested,” Rin said.

“Didn’t figure you would be.” Shark flashed a grin, trying to get them back on a less depressing topic. “We have a job waiting for you at an all-night diner. Nothing glamourous, but it’s a wait staff position, so you’ll have something to pay the bills and get you used to being around people without eating them. You start next week.”

Rin couldn’t bring himself to find any enthusiasm in the news. It would be nice to have something to keep him occupied, but waiting tables at a restaurant had never been any part of his plan. He’d have to take what he could get, though.

The rest of the drive passed in silence, and Shark finally slowed to a reasonable speed when they reached the city. On the horizon, beyond the buildings, the faint glow of the impending sunrise urged them to reach their destination, and the city was starting to come to life around them.

“Almost there,” Shark assured him.

True to his word, they stopped in front of an apartment building with a few minutes to spare. Rin grabbed his bag and two of the boxes, while Shark grabbed another pair of them and ushered him towards the door. By the time they’d descended the stairs and made it into the basement apartment, the sun was cresting the horizon, and Shark swore under his breath as he set the boxes down on the floor.

“It looks like I’m crashing here for the day,” he said. “Bedroom’s that way. I’ll take the couch.”

It took a moment for Rin to realize that the apartment was already furnished, but before he could say anything, Shark had pulled out his cell phone and was already on a call, speaking in the same language Silver had used on that first night. He decided that the action meant their conversation was over for the day, and he turned to head into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

After dropping his bag and setting his boxes on the carpeted floor, Rin sank down to lean against the wall. He sent texts to Sousuke, Gou, and Haru to let them know he’d arrived in one piece, and he then tossed his phone aside as the back of his head hit the wall. This was where his life had led him, away from his dreams of swimming on the world’s stage and right into a basement-level apartment in Tokyo with a mercenary as company.

He hated it. He hated how everything had gone right to hell in a split second, but even as he hated the tears that stung his eyes, he couldn’t hold them back any longer. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he rested his forehead on them, and his shoulders trembled as his emotions poured out of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr - [ladylasa](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)


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